fandomsecrets | [ SECRET POST #3504 ]

[ SECRET POST #3504 ]

⌈ Secret Post #3504 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

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Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 02 pages, 47 secrets from Secret Submission Post #500.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
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A: I'm ordering dinner out, what do you want?
B: I'm okay with anything.
A: Mexican, then?
B: Anything else?
A: Japanese?
B: Anything else?
A: Pizza?
B: Anything else?
A: I thought you were okay with anything.
B: I am, but I don't want any of those things you listed

Ah the old politeness roulette. It means I have one specific thing I'll agree to but don't want to sound pushy suggesting it so I'll make you guess and shove the social faux pas' onto you.

NAYRT

I don't think it necessarily means that. In fact, I would assume that's not the case. I think it probably means that the person is in that position where they really don't have any positive desire for anything - which is why they say they're OK with whatever, because they don't want anything specific - but do have passive, negative feelings.

original anon

Yes, your version was what I meant. If they'd rather not get a whole lot of things, then they shouldn't say they're okay with anything.

Oh, for sure, but it's a failure of communication (because the question that they're answering in their head is "Is there something specific you want", not the more useful question "Do you have any feelings about where to get dinner"), not deceptively trying to entrap the person asking.

AYRT

I don't think it's a matter of entrapment, it's a matter of laziness. They're the "idk, I don't mind, you decide" people who tell you to decide but always want to change your decision after it's been made, making the whole thing an exercise in frustration. They might not have anything in mind that they want you to pick, but they use you to suggest things until they decide upon something. Which can take for-fucking-ever.

Sure, sure.

These people are also cancer.

(Note: "these people" are not genuinely indecisive people, genuinely indecisive people are cool because I like to decide things, and if they're cool with my decisions it's win/win. Cancer people actually do have preferences but they want you to guess what they are and/or take the heat for being the one who decided if it turns out poorly.)

AYRT

I don't mind "idk, you decide" if they mean what they say and are willing to go along with whatever I decide for them. If they tell me to decide then want to veto it as many times as they want and are using me as a suggestion machine, I never offer again.

Ok, so this situation literally just happened at my office:

We have a system wherein the person who has the previous birthday buys a dessert for the person with the next birthday on their birthday. But we just had two new people get posted in to our unit, who both happen to be born on the same day (next week), a day before my birthday.

So when asked what they wanted they played the "I don't know, what do you want?" game for like several straight minutes, then listed options which the other shot down without offering an alternative. Bored and annoyed, I suggested that they don't get the same dessert: the original person buying buys for one, and the first birthday-haver buys for the second, and the second buys for me the following day.

Shit simple, right? Oh but no... does everyone in the office like this? No? What do "you all" like? Maybe... donuts? Oh but full donuts are too much... but Timbits (donut holes in Canada) won't be enough... should we get coffee too? What if we have the same dessert too many times? What if we spend too much money? What will the other sections think if we're eating desserts all the time.

HOLY FUCK YOU'RE ALL COMMISSIONED OFFICERS.

My turn?

"Buy me (Ari's favourite dessert)."

/end

That sounds frustrating to deal with. On one hand I understand the feeling of being the newbies and wanting not to make demands or to piss everyone off. On the other hand, after they take suggestions and opinions from everyone comes a point where they propose a solution that works for the maximum number of people then follow through with it so something gets done!

Sounds about par for the course for officers, you need to get a Sergeant to present an option so they can freely choose it as the best one.

Salty ncm burn

da

That's why I say "you decide" - because I'm not a picky person at all and have no real preferences, so I'm happy to go along with someone else who DOES have a strong preference for something.

oh god, my ex used to do this all the time.

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