Case (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
case) wrote in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png)
fandomsecrets2008-04-07 04:58 pm
case) wrote in fandomsecrets2008-04-07 04:58 pm
[ SECRET POST #458 ]
⌈ Secret Post #458 ⌋
Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.
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Notes:
Happy birthday to
![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif){kind=small}
shahni!Secrets Left to Post: 12 pages, 291 secrets from Secret Submission Post #066.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 1 - broken links ], [ 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 - not!secrets ], [ 1 - not!fandom ], [ 1 2 - too big ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.
03
Been where you are. Nobody will come and save you, because nobody can save you. Theres one way to "fill up" your life, and only one way: find out what *you* find meaningful to do, and do it. Put yourself out there and fill up your life. Only you can find out what is meaningful for you to devote your life to, and that is why nobody else can "fix" things for you.
It was so so so so hard for me to get out of that trap, cause the way out is to take care of yourself, and from where I was at that point, taking care of myself only felt like it was rubbing in how there was nobody to take care for me. Which just started feeding more crap in my life. What it took was a breakdown on my friend's bathroom floor, when she made me repeat that "regardless of how much I fuck up my life, my family's not going to come and care." But... the damsel in distress place is such a bog--yes, you hate being miserable, but on the other hand, its hard to give up the fantasy of being rescued. The thing is, people whill care when you care for yourself, not when you don't. I dunno how it works out that way, and i know it sounds counterintuitive, but I promise you it is so. I live it. But yeah, back on topic: the only way out and up is to give up the fantasy. Mourn it if you have to, but give it up. Cause if you don't, you'll spend all your life looking for fixes - being addicted to fandom, to god knows what, to relationship drama, to mad, intense passion with your "savior" only to be disappointed when s/he ends up being a human being, not a savior after all....
and aaanyways, no idea how you'll take this, I only decided to write it cause i could have written that secret up until about an year ago, and trust me, I've tried all the things that don't work: including having a "savior" and having him tell me what is meaningful, substances, and fic addiction -- which I am still not over, which is why I'm around fandom secrets. But yeah. good luck! It's not easy, getting out of the muck, but it's totally, totally worth it.