fandomsecrets | [ SECRET POST #3526 ]

[ SECRET POST #3526 ]

⌈ Secret Post #3526 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

01.

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02.

[Feed The Birds, from Mary Poppins]

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03.

(Once Upon A Time)

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04.

[ Dota 2 esport ]

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05.

[Great British Bake Off, series 3]

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06. http://i.imgur.com/82bEEum.png
[The Private Report on My Lesbian Experience with Loneliness; linked for nudity/implied porn, illustrated]

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07.

[We Happy Few]

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08.

[Stranger Things]

Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 02 pages, 32 secrets from Secret Submission Post #504.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

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Fuck off, British people.

I had a British person once tell me "Oh, Americans are so weird! I can't believe that they eat pancakes for every breakfast!" Fucking WHAT, you redcoat son of a bitch? Who the fuck eats pancakes for every breakfast in the United States? How would you feel if I came up to you and said "Oh my god, I can't believe that British people eat fish and chips for every dinner! How do you guys not have mercury poisoning???"

I am tired of hearing about the candies and shit that Americans supposedly don't have. Like "Oh my goodness, you don't have fiddly-boink-doodlykins?" I normally don't give a shit, but when it's clear that your "fiddly-boink-doodlykins" are actually fucking M&Ms or something with a different brand name, that's when I get pissed. Oh, how sad for me, I'll never get to eat an M&M in different packaging! If I hear one more Brit tell me all about their fucking candy and "crisps" and what-the-fuck ever, I'm going to throw tea into the harbor again. I don't care. I'll do it alone. I'm sending a message. Me, tea, harbor, throw.

Finally, no, we don't eat all American cheese all day. I've heard people legitimately say "Do Americans not know what cheese is? American cheese isn't good!" It's called "turning your face around and looking at the deli or cheese aisle of the store." As it turns out, there's cheese there! If I ever go to Britain, I'm going to walk into Tesco or whatever it's called, point at frozen food aisle, and say "Do British people not know what non-frozen food is? Frozen food isn't good! Why don't you try eating food that hasn't been frozen?"

Pie is awesome. I'll slap the Queen.

*wild cheering, spontaneous humming of Columbia Gem Of The Ocean and other patriotic airs*

Ignorance is not unique to Brits, unfortunately.

Native Brit here: I lol'd heartily. I'm so sorry about my brethren, and I would 100% approve another Boston Tea Party triggered by rage over snack food.

Also: you could slap the Queen, but she might slap back.

My only objection to another Boston Tea Party is I don't want the target to be T2 (which is actually in New York), because I like the company. Also, it's not British, for all it sells tea.

LOL! Some Brits are really silly about American culture, judging it entirely by what they see in movies and TV. They've never been to the U.S., will likely never go, and have very little concept of just how freaking huge it is and the fact that it's not exactly a monoculture.

Everyone around the world does this to every other country where a camera has been, from what I've seen.

Yes. Because only British people are ignorant about your country. Not like most Americans aren't highly ignorant of anything that's not American. I bet there are at least as many morons who think Brits only eat a full English breakfast every day - if they even know such a thing exists.

Touch a nerve there, Chauncey?

Nah, I'm just still sore about getting asked repeatedly on a trip to America how Hitler is doing as a chancellor and the pretty constant assumption that everything German can be reduced to Bavarian Oktoberfest stereotypes.

I legit lol'd, thanks nonny!

British too and I laughed a lot at this. Some people are just obnoxious.

Sorry man. I can conclusively confirm that Brit cheese is WAY THE FUCK BETTER than Murrica cheese in every way. Even the artisinal Murrica cheese can't compare.

At least they figured out how to steal something from the French properly.

Both are terrible. French and maybe Dutch cheese is quality cheese. The rest is yellow or orange rubber.

Don't forget German and Swiss cheese.

Re: Inspired by secret #5: Fuck off, British people.

(Anonymous) - 2016-08-30 09:45 (UTC) - Expand

what about Italian cheese? it's awesome (and I'm not Italian)

Re: Inspired by secret #5: Fuck off, British people.

(Anonymous) - 2016-08-30 20:08 (UTC) - Expand

You just spoke from my SOUL and made my day. I'm an American studying English lit (yeah, I know) in Europe (... don't ask; life has been weird to me).

[Insert obligatory disclaimer that not all Brits are elitist ignorant asses with superiority complexes stemming from a nationalist nostalgia for imperialism and that a fair number of Americans are no doubt woefully ignorant power-hungry burger-fiends with godawful taste in cheese]

This sort of crap is RAMPANT if my department. All day long with the "of course, you'd have to explain this to Americans" and, and, and.

... the best part is when the suddenly remember that they're TALKING to an American and make some sort of bumbling attempt to tell me that "oh, I wasn't talking about YOU, you're ... different, you're practically European!" as though I'm the only person from the US who can cook / read / write academic English / speak articulately in a formal setting / be aware of alternate language uses so that no, I am not completely baffled and confused by words like "braces" being used in the British way.

And of course a special shout-out to Americans here who decide to spout the same type of crap because yeah, everything about home was shit, and everything here is amazing, because they couldn't be bothered to look beyond their noses at home and have their heads in the sand about any negative aspects of life here.

/ grumpy anon is grumpy this morning.

Despoil all the tea your heart desires, but you'll take away my fiddly-boink-doodlekins when you pry them out of my cold, dead hands.

Won't anyone think of the poor fishies!

Everyone knows that fish love tea.

Re: Inspired by secret #5: Fuck off, British people.

(Anonymous) - 2016-08-30 16:09 (UTC) - Expand

lol, getting worked up over harmless ignorance

just like a spoiled American who doesn't know how good they've got it

... and they say Americans are the ones who don't understand satire.

They do? That's news to me. And who is this "they"?

You are welcome to throw British Marmite in the sea, but don't touch New Zealand Marmite. Because it's Sanitarium.

Also, when you go throwing tea in the sea, don't throw T2 tea, T2 is an Australian store.

Now you know how everyone feels when Americans display they ignorance about the rest of the world.

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