[ SECRET POST #3527 ]

[case]

⌈ Secret Post #3527 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

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Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 01 pages, 23 secrets from Secret Submission Post #504.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 1 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Comments

[(Anonymous)]

I definitely think it's out there, especially when people see prominent feminists doing things that aren't seen as inherently feminist (changing name upon marriage, presenting in a feminine manner with make-up and heels, etc.)

The author Roxane Gay has an aptly named book about this, "Bad Feminist."

Basically, I doubt there is a perfect feminist out there because it's fighting against the ingrained patriarchal conventions of our society. To fight on EVERY FRONT would be exhausting and leave little time to actually living a life.

I'm definitely a feminist, but I go along with some things that are traditionally expected of women in our society because I don't have it in me to fight that particular battle. I'm still a feminist, but I have to realize that some decisions I make also make it harder for other women to live in our society.

I present very feminine, make-up, dresses/skirts in professional settings, etc. But I have to realize that this makes it harder for other women who wish not to present in a feminine manner to have a harder time of it because there are less people visually in society backing up her decision to do so. There is one less person fighting that particular battle, so it seems as though there is less support for that woman in that decision.

In any case, OP, I doubt the VAST majority of feminists would want you to sacrifice your emotional health for not supporting one particular feminist artist 100%.

[diet_poison]

I think it's also okay to make some choices that are seen as unfeminist because the freedom to choose is really, really important. Not every choice is inherently feminist and that's okay.

[(Anonymous)]

I'm fairly old-school as feminism goes, but I've never understood the objection to taking someone else's surname. I mean... my birth surname is my father's name. And his father's. And there's no point in taking my mother's surname, because it's her father's. Who cares if I take my spouse's surname? Same thing, it's not inherently better or worse than taking one from my own family tree. (I might take it though if I happen to like it more.)

As far as I can see, the only "pure" feminist surname is a matronymic of some sort (e.g. Clairesdaughter), which isn't all that better because one generation on, it's sort of irrelevant.

Also, double-barreling your surnames (in the interest of equity) only works for one generation, unless you want your descendants to have names like Tarquin Fin-tim-lin-bin-whin-bim-lim-bus-stop-F'tang-F'tang-Olé-Biscuitbarrel.

[(Anonymous)]

silly party, 12441 votes

[(Anonymous)]

Official Monster Raving Looney Party, if you don't mind. Real name John Lewis (funnier in Britain as it's a well known department store here), and a very nice guy; I knew him slightly at the time.

[(Anonymous)]

I always thought the objection was against it being a given: that a woman should ALWAYS take her husband's surname. Like, if you talk about it, and you both decide that's what you wanna do, I don't see what the problem is. As a rule, it's completely useless for people who aren't heterosexual, so I kind of don't see the point of it anyway. :/

[(Anonymous)]

Not really, as we all have surnames. My son and his civil partner hyphenated theirs so they share the same one.

[(Anonymous)]

I'm...what? If a woman keeps her name, and women from henceforth start keeping their own names more and more, then family trees will become matrilineal. Which makes a heck of a lot more sense because you can't always know who the father is, especially if it was a one-night stand, but you always, *always* know who the mother is.

It should always have been this way.

[(Anonymous)]

If it's no big deal to change your legal name, which is probably an important part of your identity and may encompass your culture and ancestry, then why is it only women who are obsessed/supposed to do it? Come back when fifty per cent of men change their names and go around being Mr Rebecca Jones.