fandomsecrets | [ SECRET POST #3536 ]

[ SECRET POST #3536 ]

⌈ Secret Post #3536 ⌋

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I hate being touched in a lot of contexts and I hate being startled. Some people think it's funny to hide behind the door, sneak up behind you etc. I cannot fucking STAND it. And I think a lot of people don't get why that's the case. It makes me jump ten miles with a huge adrenaline rush that makes me angry and then I get super embarrassed and that just makes me more angry, and it's like red-hot rage.

Being touched without the sneaking up part doesn't make me that angry that fast but it does really get on my nerves.

I get startled incredibly easily and I hate it. I used to have a rabbit and I swear we reacted the same way to sudden noises. But people suddenly appearing nearby is the worst.

Yay, someone who understands <3

Just appearing startles me but doesn't really make me mad. It's someone startling me on purpose that really makes me see red. Some people think it's funny to do it, and some people think it's funny when it's done to them, and I expect there's a lot of overlap between those groups. But I hate it.

Just last week I was at a locals (YGO) and a friend/friendly acquaintance thought it would be funny to come up behind me and put a freezing cold water bottle on my neck. I reacted like a skittish dog snarling at someone coming up from behind, jumped and screeched and yelled at him. Then I just felt humiliated. It's also times like this when being the only woman in the room is an issue - I feel very self-conscious about it and feel like everyone must be thinking I'm just being stereotypically emotional, and I can't really do anything to dispel that notion. :/

+1

Some people really, really don't get the not touchy thing and most of the time I get that I have to deal with hugging and what not, fine whatever. But if I tell someone that I don't like being physically startled they should understand not to do it, and they should certainly not be surprised if I snap at them for doing it(but they're always surprised).

(I knew one person who used to always try to surprise bear-hug me and despite me telling them repeatedly that I didn't like it, they were always shocked that I went as stiff as a board whenever they did it and was testy as fuck afterwards).

If someone surprise bear hugged me I might actually slug them.

It always happened in public and I hate making a scene in public so I'd wriggle out as fast as I could and snap at them, we didn't remain friends long in any case so it stopped being an issue eventually.

I hate making a scene in public too, but sometimes I do it anyway (see my reply to Sarillia above). :/

Edited 2016-09-09 13:28 (UTC)

There is this guy I know who invariably approaches me by coming up behind me and looming over me. And he's about 6'4" with shoulders like a linebacker, so he can really loom. Now, he always apologizes for making me jump, and it's not even his fault that I jump--but I just wish he wouldn't do it.

Doing it deliberately, like the people you describe, is insufferable.

This may be a stupid question, but did you tell him you hate it when he does that and why? He might just genuinely not be paying attention/not think it's a big deal

No, it never seems like a big deal at the time...and then later on I think "gaaaah, why does he always have to loom like that?"

Fair enough. Hopefully the situation gets better and he dials it down!

Eugh. I have family members that do that shit and it's like "WHY THE FUCK?" I don't like being touched with the sneaking, and I also don't like being touched in certain places like the back of my neck, my feet in general, and never, EVER my ears.

Mostly it doesn't bother me as much with family (the touching, not so much the startling...that always bothers me), and also my family doesn't do it a lot. Are they doing it on purpose or are they just clueless??

Edited 2016-09-09 13:29 (UTC)

I hate the being surprised thing too. I used to refuse to play hide and seek as a kid because some of my friends liked to jump out to scare me and it really bothered me. It even bothers me on show/in movies when someone jumps out, and that is why I can't bring myself to watch scary things because it inevitably happens.

Usually in horror movies I know it's going to happen so it's not a big deal.

I used to hate fire drills in elementary school though because they scared the shit out of me.

And I can't stand it when people do that shit on purpose even though they know you don't like it. Super inconsiderate and qualifies one for a candidacy for the "shitty friend" indicator if you ask me.

I hate being grabbed from behind. I worked with a guy who did that and then said he mistook me for someone else in my dept. I don't look anything like anybody else who worked in that section so I asked him who he thought I was. He was all, "uh, uh, I can't remember her name but I do this all the time with her." Me: "You make a habit out of grabbing this woman from behind and you can't even remember what her name is??"

That's a really good response. I'm glad you called him out. What did he say after that??

he couldn't think of anything. he was just all, "uh, uh. I don't know". I was pissed.

Did you report him?

I get this. I'm not super...(heh) touchy about being touched in general but I haaaaaate when a person pokes me to get my attention. YOU COULD HAVE JUST SAID "HEY" OR SOMETHING.

YES. Talk to me!! Don't touch me!

When people sneak up on me, i hit them. My little brother learned this when he jumped at me from the shadows and my fist just went *whammy* right into. Didn't even think about it. Cultivate that response and maybe they'll quit.

I hate being touched just about ever, and people doing it without asking or 'sneaking' it makes me livid.

I hope that doesn't get you in trouble (not being sarcastic). It certainly sounds effective.

It hasn't yet? But then, people who *know* me know the story, so they don't try. Otherwise, I make it clear verbally that my 'no go' zone is...about six feet by six. The people i work with are universally younger than me, and weirdly enough, i intimidate the hell out of them, so they don't push it.

Total strangers, of course, deserve a smack for trying to pull that kind of shite.

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