[ SECRET POST #3547 ]

[case]

⌈ Secret Post #3547 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

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Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 02 pages, 32 secrets from Secret Submission Post #507.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Comments

Showers

[(Anonymous)]

As in wedding and baby. I've never heard of anyone actually liking them. It seems to me that if nothing else, they're more for the mothers/in law and female family members... so why not just take your mother, mother-in-law and sister out to lunch instead of forcing your friends to sit with people they don't know while you're huddled with them in the kitchen?

Re: Showers

[(Anonymous)]

I've enjoyed myself at showers, but I resent the fact that they are female-only. I think that's pretty outdated at this point, and frankly, they tend to add up as another reason to spend money on the bride. I think they can be fun if done as an event with alcohol and more chill, rather than a "let's sit around in a circle with all your great aunts and open presents and share stories about being brides!" Baby showers are kind of fun for new mothers, who are usually and understandably excited and anxious about having a kid and being pregnant, but I don't support them for baby two or three. And gender reveal parties seem like an attention-grabby excuse for us to celebrate your pregnancy a little more than necessary.

Re: Showers

[shortysc22]

At least for baby showers, they're having more "jack and jill showers" where both men and women are invited to celebrate the upcoming birth of the baby.

One of my friends held a "sprinkle" for her sister's second baby where it was basically just the grandparents and and siblings and the friend's sister's very closest friends, I think there might have been a total of 10 people there.

I know some people who combine the gender reveal and the bay shower so that they don't do two parties.

Basically it comes down to a matter of personal choice.

Re: Showers

[ketita]

I come from a culture where we don't have those. Instead, the Saturday before the wedding is called "The Bride's Sabbath", and she'll usually have a whole bunch of close female friends over and they hang out and play games and talk about marriage and whatnot. But it's a very personal time. Also the gifts are all small useful things for the home.
Those I like.
Then again, I find a lot of stuff about wedding culture in America a bit inexplicable...

Re: Showers

[(Anonymous)]

So, like a bachelorette party, then?

I don't think the concept of bridal showers is crazy - it was just more relevant 50 years ago than it is today. It was an excuse for female friends and family to get together to celebrate the bride-to-be and give her presents which are useful for the home, as you said - dishes, small appliances, kitchen items, towels, that sort of thing, because the idea was that after you get married, you and your husband get a house and move in together.

It's just less relevant today because couples are often already living together, and there's less of a residual view of women with dowries/being the one in charge of the household, with more equal relationships.

Re: Showers

[(Anonymous)]

I've only ever been to one baby shower and zero wedding showers. None of my friends or similar-aged relatives ever had wedding showers, so I had thought that wasn't really a thing anymore. I probably won't have one if I get married. The baby shower was fun. It was when I was in grad school and a bunch of us threw it for a mutual friend in the department. We were all friends and just intended it to be a local friends-only party - no inviting her far-away family (her relatives could throw their own shower if they wanted) - so it was a good time.

Re: Showers

[nightscale]

I've been to one baby shower and it was alright, we mostly just sat around chatting and eating cake/snacks and gave useful gifts(like baby clothes/blankets) to the mum-to-be, it was just a very chilled and relaxed day.

Re: Showers

[(Anonymous)]

It's definitely a cultural thing, and I often wonder if wedding showers are going to start going by the wayside as more people get married older and already have all the stuff that comes with a shower (that said, I love the idea of throwing a kitchen-stocking party for the couple, where everyone brings a bottle of wine and a recipe to go with it, because everyone needs wine and it's nice that you can associate the it and the recipe with the person who gave it to you).

But I do like the idea of the baby shower; Carolyn Hax has said something along the lines about how they should ideally be about creating a community for your child.

Re: Showers

[caerbannog]

I liked the baby shower I went to. It was mixed gender, bascically a BBQ with some baby-focussed games.

I won chocolate because I KNOW WHAT SKUNK BABIES ARE, TAKE THAT AARON.