fandomsecrets | [ SECRET POST #3584 ]

[ SECRET POST #3584 ]

⌈ Secret Post #3584 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

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Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 01 pages, 21 secrets from Secret Submission Post #512.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

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example: I love reading about beach sex in fanfic but irl, beach sex is the fucking worst. Like, it's so awful. No one should have sand in the places that I've had sand.

Bondage. I hate being tied down, and I hate doing all the work when my BF is tied down. In fic and porn? Hot as hell.

Well, I like noncon, so...yeah, that.

Also I think rimming can be hot in fiction if written well, but in real life I don't think my mouth wants to go there.

Yeah, same here on the rimming. It can be so hot in fic or in art, but I definitely don't want to try it.

Totally agree with you on beach sex. I love the beach, but damn, you haven't suffered until you've had sand in every orifice and fold.

Dying and crying (or being otherwise morose). Honestly, it's probably why I have a much higher tolerance for fridging than the average fannish woman.

^^^

I, too, hate dying IRL

Re: Things You Hate IRL but Love in Fanfic/Media

(Anonymous) - 2016-10-26 23:31 (UTC) - Expand

I had sex on the beach once, it was hell and the guy I had it with said that it made him realize why in desert areas circumcision was an essential to even having a sex life. Sand gets everywhere, and it rubs and irritates in ways nobody would believe.

haha, have you seen the most recent Oglaf?

(Very NSFW) but a beach sex punchline. http://oglaf.com/hotbaubles/

Sex... period.

-Dangerously intense BDSM practices
-Penetrative sex
-Panic attacks followed by intense cuddles :P

Guys who are very strong and have a violent streak but are very protective and heart of gold.

Intense high-octane melodramatic codependent relationships. I love reading about them, but irl lol no, I want a nice well-balanced guy thanks.

Intense high-octane melodramatic codependent relationships. I love reading about them, but irl lol no, I want a nice well-balanced guy thanks.

Lol, well said. This is the main one for me as well.

Thiiiiiiiiiis so much. I like it in fic and fantasies in general, but real life? NOPE.

people having emotions at me, ever.

This. Get it away from me

daddy kink is super hot in fic, but it just feels so awkward doing it irl (in my experience of course. It works just fine for other people)

Torture and noncon are the ones that come to mind. So hot in fics, but horrifying IRL.

Obligatory Oglaf beach sex strip.

Well, obviously noncon and torture are not things I like in real life. But in fic? Yes, please.

Anything involving extreme BDSM. I'm not into that in real life, but in fic it is awesome.

- Couples or friends being cuddly or physically affectionate, I don't like being touched much at all but seeing fictional characters hug gives me warm fuzzies.

- The undying loyalty thing, I love it as a trope in fiction but irl it would probably be more than a little worrying.

- Bondage, kinda hot in fiction but I find it so boring irl and I hate being tied up apparently.

Murder. Torture. Rape. Kidnapping. Mind control. Thievery. The hurt part of hurt/comfort. Identity theft. Fraud. Drunkenness (though tipsiness is fine). Car chases. Uncontrolled explosions. Vigilantism. Fights. Power games. Monsters. Unrealistic science (I do sometimes dislike it in fic/media, too). Superior geniuses. Shower sex. Sex in public. And many other things that just aren’t coming to mind right now.

Superior geniuses are so disappointing in real life.

Re: So many.

(Anonymous) - 2016-10-27 02:12 (UTC) - Expand

Uuuuh, pretty much everything. Most of the characters I love I'd hate IRL. Most of the kinks I like are turnoffs IRL. I love angst and drama in fic, IRL I am very happy with my generally low-drama life. Also I love h/c and sickfic but RL medical things are awful, I'm both an awful patient who can't stand being fussed over and I'm awful at taking care of people aside from "here's the TV remote and a box of tissues plz don't die"

You know how 98% of fic involving kissing on the neck has one character "lick a stripe" up the other's neck? In fic, this is hot, but IRL this is literally cold as the air cools saliva quickly and just leaves me feeling wet and like "Uhijflksjd, wipe it off!!"

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