[ SECRET POST #3588 ]

[case]

⌈ Secret Post #3588 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

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Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 02 pages, 62 secrets from Secret Submission Post #513.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Comments

[(Anonymous)]

IDK, just sounds to me like your friends were trying to be supportive and encouraging of your writing. I've had plenty of comments in fannish circles from people saying "zomg you should totes publish!", doesn't mean I'd expect them to actually cough up if I ever did. I'd expect emotional support from my friends, which it sounds like you got... but if you're not writing something they have any interest in reading, why should they?

[(Anonymous)]

Reread the secret. OP's friends told OP they should publish and that they would read it. They're not obligated to follow through, of course, but it's kind of crappy to tell a friend you'll do something and then not do it. Don't make promises you can't keep and all.

[(Anonymous)]

Okay, and how much time passed between a passing "sure, I'd read that!" and OP actually writing, completing, publishing, and pimping out their book? Those passing comments might have been OP's driving force, but I doubt their friends were sitting around waiting for them to make good on some vague encouragement they'd thrown out months earlier.

[(Anonymous)]

"If you write a book, I'll buy it and read it" is not a vague encouragement, though. It's pretty clear? And sure, lots of time may have passed but... what, did OP's friends think they could just write a book next week?

[(Anonymous)]

See comment below. "I would" is NOT "I will". Their circumstances might have changed, their interests might have changed, any one of a million things might have changed, and buying one of the fourteen thousand self-published novels being hawked at them every five minutes by friends and strangers alike might not be their priority in a given moment.

[(Anonymous)]

A book written by a stranger is not the same thing as a book written by a friend, whom you told you'd support by purchasing it. Of course circumstances change and tastes change. But you told a friend you'd do something, and that something is a fairly small sacrifice, so not doing what you said you'd do seems pretty crappy.

[(Anonymous)]

God, I have no idea how all you anons with this type of thinking function in the real world. People say shit all the time, often with the best of intentions. It's not like their full attention was consumed by thinking up some way to play with OPs emotions.

[(Anonymous)]

Of course, they weren't trying to deliberately hurt the OP. This doesn't matter. The fact is they renegged on the promise that they made. I could easily swing it back to you and ask how you function in "the real world". You know, the one where what you say and do has consequences for other people? I disagree that "people say shit all the time, often with the best of intentions". I think this says a lot about the people that you know. The people that I know, if they say they are going to do something, they tend to do it.

[(Anonymous)]

No offense, but you sound draining to be friends with. I tend to think the best of people and just assume that they're trying their hardest to get on in life while also being as considerate as possible at the time to the people around them. Sometimes that doesn't follow through. As far as I'm concerned, no biggie. Life isn't all about you. They have their own things going on. Maybe they forgot they even said that.

You sound high-maintenance.

[(Anonymous)]

FFS, "I'd buy that" is not a 'promise'. It's "I would buy it, if it happens, and if it piques my interest, and if my situation makes it viable". That's a lot of variables, and is in no way a set-in-stone pledge to buy anything and everything OP produces at any point in the future.

[(Anonymous)]

I function just fine? I like being friends with people who don't tell me they'll do X and then fail to follow through. I don't demand that people promise me anything, mind you. If a friend of mine has any doubt whatsoever, then they're free to either not commit or tell me that they'd like to do X, but they're not sure they can, and I'll be fine with it. But if you say you'll do something, then I have pretty reasonable expectations that you weren't just shining me on, because... why would a friend to do that to another friend?

[(Anonymous)]

NA

Eh. Sometimes a friend says they'll do a thing, such as read your creative endeavor, whether it's pro fic or fanfic or what-have-you. Then when they don't do it, you ask them about it, and they reiterate that they'll do the thing. Then they don't do the thing. If you keep pressing them about it, they keep saying they'll do the thing. If you tell them nevermind, you don't care if they do the thing, they'll get defensive and say they are absolutely! going! to! do! the! thing!

And then don't do the thing.

And maybe they have every intention of doing the thing eventually, because they think it's what a good friend would do...only they're not actually that into the idea, and so they keep putting it off. And really, the only graceful way out is to just not ask them about it anymore. And learn not to take it personally. Because the other route, here, is to lose friends when you push them too hard about the thing they said they would read and said they were into but somehow never seem to get around to. And in the end, that's going to be more upsetting than having your friend not read the thing.