[ SECRET POST #3590 ]

[case]

⌈ Secret Post #3590 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

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Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 02 pages, 42 secrets from Secret Submission Post #513.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Comments

[fscom]

01. https://66.media.tumblr.com/e87900d3d3a076cc63f8ab87070a8ffe/tumblr_ofl35r4xEe1sivacmo1_1280.png

[(Anonymous)]

There's nothing selfish or skewed about that IMO. And I'm sorry if is how it is. That's really rough and sad.

[sparrow_lately]

It's not selfish to want to do fun and personally fulfilling thing, or to be disappointed/sad that it isn't like to work out.

[(Anonymous)]

I don't think it's selfish to want something you can't have, only human.

[(Anonymous)]

That really sucks, anon. I'm sorry :(

[dinogrrl]

Been there, know the suckage of the situation :/. It's not selfish to want to have fun, or to be upset that you can't join in that fun.

[(Anonymous)]

I take it there is no chance of you getting a gofundme to get yourself there?

OP

[(Anonymous)]

I'd consider, but it feels exploitative of my followers and I don't want to beg for money. I'm not a good enough artist to offer commissions. I don't want to take without giving anything back.

da

[(Anonymous)]

could you offer to do like, a fun chatty/pic-filled liveblog of the event? if I could help a friend do a real cool thing and also get cool news from a one-time-only event, I'd feel like I 'got something back' - I've never been a con goer myself bc I'm too busy for travel, but I'd enjoy getting a piece of the experience that way. IDK if that would actually get you enough funds to go, but it's something to consider.

[kallanda_lee]

Sometimes taking a break from real life responsibilities is good...you sound like life is getting you down. Any way you could find a way to go anyway?

OP

[(Anonymous)]

I'm trying to get a job to save the money needed to go, and I may go with a friend, splitting hotel costs between us.

Re: OP

[(Anonymous)]

good luck, I hope you can make it!

Re: OP

[kallanda_lee]

I once went to a con where I literally slept in my car (though, I've slept in cars before etc). I wish you all the best!

Re: OP

[dreamstar]

I hope you get to go! Good luck!

Re: OP

[(Anonymous)]

Adding to the good luck chorus! I really hope this works out for you :).

[(Anonymous)]

It's not selfish to occasionally want to do something that makes you happy, to meet up with friends/like-minded people especially if you're a bit isolated. And it sounds like you're going through a rough time as it is, so this one extra thing (as trivial as it may sound to *other* people) is allowed to upset you.

I don't have any advice to give. Maybe you could try to participate in your own way from home. Could you mention your problem to this fandom? There must be others who can't come to this offline event, so maybe you can create an online one and celebrate that way. It's not the same, but it'll still allow you to have fun for a while, reconnect with friends.

[(Anonymous)]

*hugs*

[(Anonymous)]

*hugs* :(

[(Anonymous)]

I don't think it's wrong or selfish of you to want to spend money on this event. Taking care of you, giving yourself those small moments of happiness--those things are important.

And I hope things work out for you, OP.

[annethecatdetective]

I really hope you're able to work something out-- I saw down the comment thread you might be able to go with a friend to split some of the costs. I know it sucks having to deal with money problems and grown-up responsibilities, and how much it can hurt to miss out on opportunities. It's not selfish to prioritize a special event that's not only related to something that interests you, but also involves a group of people who share that interest-- lots of people do the same thing, even if it's not 'fandom', after all. People who try to schedule concert dates or tickets to major sporting events are often adults who just need to do something for themselves, and who want to share an event with a group of people who all feel the same importance.

Part of having a balanced life and emotional health as an adult is finding a way to make room for fun, friends, and things that are just for yourself. It doesn't always work out for specific events, but it's definitely not selfish to want to be able to attend something meaningful with friends. It doesn't sound like you're looking to toss out work/money and family responsibilities, just that you want to be able to work out a compromise that lets you have your thing, too, and that's reasonable.

I've missed a lot of things due to being unable to travel to them, and I've made it to things that still meant a lot to me (even if I had to budget strictly and share rooms and rides), and... like, yeah. We all deserve the things that make being adults worthwhile, even if we worry about how frivolous they might seem.

[(Anonymous)]

Man, I can only imagine what your life is like that a much-needed break is selfish. Mental and emotional health matters.

[(Anonymous)]

I don't know which fandom this is, but my own fandom is facing similar events. So sorry to hear that this is causing you pain, OP.
Couple of thoughts -

Could a word with an influential BNF lead to setting up a kind of online party day around about the same time, that you could take part in and feel like you are all in it together? I might suggest this for my own fandom, as getting together IRL is not always possible for lots of reasons.

I know I earn more than many of my fandom friends, and honestly I would pay for someone else to come to an event, knowing that they can't really afford it. I hate to think of it as charity, it's pure selfishness on my part because I want to enjoy their company, and wish they would ask if they need help. Again, how about a word with a BNF, to see if they would be willing to put up a screened post suggesting putting donors in touch with those who would appreciate help, but don't want to ask for it. That way no one would feel obliged to offer, but if anyone did, it would be with their eyes open, and they could help buy tickets or hotel fees for those like yourself who need a bit extra in order to come. Or the BNF could ask about behind the scenes.

Obviously you have a lot going on, and getting to events is not easy at all, especially if there are family stresses. I hope things get better for you. And I hope you find a way to enjoy the fandom event somehow.

OP

[(Anonymous)]

My fandom doesn't really have BNFs - it's too small for that - but there is a fansite I joined where members are planning to go as a group. I might explain my situation and see if anyone there is able to or in a position to help. I may also be able to split hotel costs with a friend. Tickets are affordable enough - hotel fees and flight tickets are the main problem, especially since I haven't learned to drive and don't have a paying job yet.

I hope I get to go, too - there are several anniversary events going on, and I have to make some difficult decisions about which to attend (especially since, given my financial situation, I will almost certainly only make one).

Re: OP

[(Anonymous)]

Good luck, OP!

[(Anonymous)]

Hey just to be clear, wanting to participate in important activities surrounding a thing you care deeply about isn't selfish.