case: (Default)
Case ([personal profile] case) wrote in [community profile] fandomsecrets2016-11-01 06:39 pm

[ SECRET POST #3590 ]


⌈ Secret Post #3590 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

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Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 02 pages, 42 secrets from Secret Submission Post #513.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Sex question- NSFW

(Anonymous) 2016-11-01 11:40 pm (UTC)(link)
So, I think about sex a lot. I have a very active fantasy life. But I don't want to have sex in real life. Mostly because I have issues with being touched. Being touched, especially on my back, squicks me. I even hate hugs. It just makes me uncomfortable. No idea why. The idea of sex appeals to me a lot, and I have a very high libido I think, but when it comes to any actual real life experiences I'm not interested.

Is this weird? Is this something that i should see a doctor about? I mean, I'm honestly happy just having fantasies and never having a real relationship, but is it wrong to be okay with this? Or is this normal(ish) and something I shouldn't worry about?

Re: Sex question- NSFW

(Anonymous) 2016-11-01 11:43 pm (UTC)(link)
I don't know about weird or wrong. But, like, if it's an issue for you, I think it's definitely something you could work on. I don't think it's necessarily common but it's really hard to say whether or not it's be productive to try to change.
sparrow_lately: (CJ)

Re: Sex question- NSFW

[personal profile] sparrow_lately 2016-11-01 11:48 pm (UTC)(link)
It's not weird in a bad way, and it's probably something that can change with your needs. For example, if you start seeing someone and are comfortable with certain kinds of low-contact sex (my first thought was "you can give somebody oral without touching them much besides that!" :P), then you may gradually start to feel comfortable with them touching you more. But maybe not! And that's okay!

If you're honestly happy with where you are, then buy some kickass sex toys and shine on.

Re: Sex question- NSFW

(Anonymous) 2016-11-02 12:06 am (UTC)(link)
I'm sort of the same? I think about sex a lot, but fantasies are enough. I don't really care if it ever happens in real life.

Re: Sex question- NSFW

(Anonymous) 2016-11-02 12:20 am (UTC)(link)
I'm similar, although I wouldn't say I have a high libido or anything, and I feel comfortable with just calling myself asexual. If you don't see it as a problem, honestly, I wouldn't even worry about it.

Re: Sex question- NSFW

(Anonymous) 2016-11-02 12:22 am (UTC)(link)
It's not "weird", and whether or not it is healthy depends 100% on if you're happy and content with how things are. There's no obligation to have sex. But if you're feeling lonely and fight with yourself about whether you want to do it irl or not, it may be worth talking about.

And to give the old fashioned anecdote - I wasn't comfortable with it at first because I wasn't used to it, and I have to "warm up" to things, so to speak. I enjoy it now because I've done it often enough to be more comfortable with my own body and people touching my body, and touching other people's bodies.

So, it may just take practice. But if you don't think you're interested in sex at all, then don't do it, you're perfectly fine without.

Re: Sex question- NSFW

(Anonymous) 2016-11-02 12:26 am (UTC)(link)
As long as it isn't worrying you, there's nothing to worry about. For example, if you were concerned as to why you don't like people touching you, then I'd say "get thee to a therapist", but if that's just how you are, that's fine.

Sexuality is a very odd thing. You can definitely have a high libido without having an active interest in getting someone to share it with you. Mine's sky-high, but I'm perfectly happy right now with me, myself, and my sex toy collection. :)

Re: Sex question- NSFW

(Anonymous) 2016-11-02 01:21 am (UTC)(link)
I don't hate hugs but I am kind of resigned and okay with never being in a relationship because my fantasies and dreams are much better than reality.

Re: Sex question- NSFW

(Anonymous) 2016-11-02 04:54 am (UTC)(link)
This is me, too. But it doesn't bother me, as I am happy with my life as it is. Unless it is something that actually bothers you, I wouldn't spend time worrying about it; just because it's not the way everyone else does things doesn't make it wrong for you.