[ SECRET POST #3594 ]

[case]

⌈ Secret Post #3594 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

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Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 02 pages, 42 secrets from Secret Submission Post #514.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Comments

Sadness thread

[(Anonymous)]

I know it's late and I might be the only person posting, but if any west coast or insomniac FSers are having a bad night, it's okay to be sad here. And just in case anyone else needs them, have some preemptive (hugs)

Re: Sadness thread

[(Anonymous)]

Drunk mom anon here. I've reached a point where I don't know if I can finish out my semester. My first round of grad school applications, which I haven't even started, are due December 1, and I'm not even sure I'll graduate on time, or in my more panic-stricken moments, at all.

Mom is in a physical rehab place trying to learn to walk again, because otherwise she won't qualify for a dementia board and care home. She had a UTI go systemic and detoxed from booze while hospital doctors got her infection and the resultant fever (it was 103-something and climbing when I called 911) under control, but her body is just worn out. She was bedbound for a week and has days when sitting up is a challenge. The rehab place is a long way away so I haven't been able to visit and she sounds bummed and exhausted when I talk to her. I'd say that makes two of us but at least I'm not dying of cancer and my lungs aren't full of blood clots.

If she lives long enough that I have to sell her house to pay for her care, I'll end up living off the money I'd saved for grad school. Especially if I don't get promoted. I've had the same damn job for 12 fucking years and in that time my pay has actually decreased. I have no head for paperwork even when it's on my own behalf, and mom's medical care and bills generate a bewildering new array of bullshit every week. I'm so tired of being afraid and exhausted all the damn time. I feel like the future I've been working towards and the goals that kept me sane(ish) are a mirage. Like I was an idiot for ever hoping my life could get better.

And in non mom, non school related fuckery, half my coworkers are voting for Trump. Honestly, if he wins I might only stick around until I have to arrange mom's wake and then see what I can manage with her leftover vodka and pills. I feel like an animal in one of those learned helplessness experiments, the ones where they lay down on the metal cage floor and wait to be electrocuted to death because it doesn't matter what they do, some bastard's gonna run an electric current through the floor anyway.

Re: Sadness thread

[ketita]

My roommate, who I was friendly with, is having an extended snit at me that developed from a stupid misunderstanding in which both of us snapped at each other. Seriously, it's the stupidest thing.
But I can't take the stress of her being all cold. I know it's temporary, and I'll move into the (happy?) waters of not giving a shit anymore and just write her off. But now I'm going through a melancholy moment because I thought this year was going to be a good one, I thought I'd finally have fun with my roommates, and now I'm spiraling into "I fucked everything up again" and bleh.

Re: Sadness thread

[mudousetsuna]

Man, if someone's not going to work out a misunderstanding with you and you're putting in the effort to correct it, don't put that on you as fucking everything up. Some people are just stubbornly assholes about that kind of thing and you deserve better. Don't listen to whatever your brain tells you otherwise, an adult would be willing to at least be civil even if they can't tolerate you. They are being immature and that's not on you to resolve. I hope things get better for you soon. :(

Re: Sadness thread

[mimi-sardinia.livejournal.com]

I am just having a bit of a depression downturn. I watch too much anti-SJW stuff on Youtube and it makes me very cynical about the state of the world in general and western society in particular.