[ SECRET POST #3611 ]

[case]

⌈ Secret Post #3611 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

01.



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02.
[Mass Effect]


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03.
[Once Upon a Time]


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04.
(Overwatch, John McCain)


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05.
[Arrow]


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06.
[Carrie Fisher, Harrison Ford]


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07.
[Supergirl]


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08.
[The Graham Norton Show]








Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 03 pages, 24 secrets from Secret Submission Post #516.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Comments

Re: What question do you hate being asked?

[(Anonymous)]

No, I think AYRT is right. For one thing, even one in ten is a small enough percentage that many people will presume someone is with the 90% until it is established otherwise. Plus, up until pretty recently, nowhere near one in ten people were (i.e. felt able to be) open about being interested in the opposite sex. So to the population at large, it seemed like gay relationships were much less common than they were.

But I think what's been even more influential in maintaining that tendency to presume heterosexuality, is popular culture. Things are changing now, and that's honestly such a great thing, but I'm only thirty, and of the thousands of examples of romantic couples I saw in fiction/advertising/etc., I could probably count the number of gay couples I saw on one hand. Up until pretty recently, the cultural narrative (unless you were in an lgbt circle) was overwhelmingly hetero - so much more overwhelmingly hetero than it is now. And a lot of people internalized that.

I mean, a lot of feminists will still default to thinking a doctor is male until she turns out not to be, or thinking a nurse is female, until he turns out not to be. Because the loooong cultural narrative about gender roles has gotten deep into people's heads, and overriding those knee-jerk assumptions we don't even realize we're making doesn't happen over night. And I think that's very similar to what's happening when people ask a girl whether she has a boyfriend, rather than asking her whether she has a significant other.

Re: What question do you hate being asked?

[(Anonymous)]

Right about what?

I agree that homophobia is engrained in culture, but that is shifting. That's beside the point. You shouldn't assume someone is heterosexual, period. Sure, there's a good chance they are, but being gay is NOT a tiny once-in-a-blue-moon chance. And assuming heterosexuality puts gay folks often in a very uncomfortable situation. The least you can do is check your wording to be more inclusive.

Re: What question do you hate being asked?

[(Anonymous)]

Anon-from-above.

The least you can do is check your wording to be more inclusive.

And... I agreed with that? That 'are you seeing anyone' SHOULD be default but it IS going to take time before it becomes default because the assumption of heterosexuality is so engrained in most peoples' brains because honestly it's only within the last 10-15 years (that I've noticed personally) where even if you WERE gay or lesbian, you were actually out about saying so.