[ SECRET POST #3611 ]

[case]

⌈ Secret Post #3611 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

01.



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02.
[Mass Effect]


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03.
[Once Upon a Time]


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04.
(Overwatch, John McCain)


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05.
[Arrow]


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06.
[Carrie Fisher, Harrison Ford]


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07.
[Supergirl]


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08.
[The Graham Norton Show]








Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 03 pages, 24 secrets from Secret Submission Post #516.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Comments

Re: What question do you hate being asked?

[(Anonymous)]

I don't think most people phrase the question this way out of homophobia, but I do definitely empathize with you.

I'm ace, and even though I've been out about it for like fifteen years, when casual acquaintances and people I've just met ask me whether I have a boyfriend or am seeing anyone, I've never felt comfortable saying, "Nah, I'm ace actually."

I'm just not up for many of the reactions I would get.

If people could somehow ask that question in a way that was inclusive of ace people, I would be so happy. I mean, I definitely don't expect that of people, but holy crap it would make everything so. much. easier.

Re: What question do you hate being asked?

[(Anonymous)]

As another ace person, I just go 'nah, not interested' and turn the question back on them. People like to talk about themselves, so this usually works pretty well.

Re: What question do you hate being asked?

[(Anonymous)]

As another ace person, I just go 'nah, not interested' and turn the question back on them.

This is a great way to handle it and I'm going to do this in the future.

Do you ever get people who go "'Not interested'? What does that mean?"

Re: What question do you hate being asked?

[(Anonymous)]

I think "Are you seeing anyone?" would still be inclusive, since they're not asking "Are you having sex?" Even for non-ace folks, there's a lot more than sex to a relationship and "seeing" someone implies all that other stuff. Most people aren't actually asking their casual acquaintances about their sex lives when they ask about relationships.

Re: What question do you hate being asked?

[(Anonymous)]

Most people aren't actually asking their casual acquaintances about their sex lives when they ask about relationships.

No, but "Are you seeing anyone" does not mean "Do you have any friends?" and it also does not mean "Do you have a close relationship with your family?"

"Are you seeing anyone?" almost always means, "Is there someone in your life whom you are romantically involved with?"

And since I am aromantic as well as asexual, the answer is always No.

Which is fine. It's not as if I'm lying by simply saying "no" and not elaborating further. But it's like the first anon says, by allowing the person to continue believing you're straight but single because it's easier and feels safer, you feel like you're hiding.