fandomsecrets | [ SECRET POST #3621 ]

[ SECRET POST #3621 ]

⌈ Secret Post #3621 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

01.

__________________________________________________

02.

__________________________________________________

03.

__________________________________________________

04.

[Daredevil]

__________________________________________________

05.

Grace and Frankie (TV Series 2015– )

__________________________________________________

06. [SPOILERS for Occultic;Nine]

__________________________________________________

07. [SPOILERS for "Oyasumi Punpun"]
[WARNING for discussion of suicide]

Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 00 pages, 00 secrets from Secret Submission Post #517.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 1 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

Anon with the Trump supporter therapist here. This week was really exhausting.

I think I did a bit better in not responding to his provocative remarks, but I think he's picking on me in particular now. He thinks my getting angry at or trying to rebut his sexist/racist/homophobic remarks is immature and not "adult-like" (which I think is hypocritical considering his support of Trump, hardly a paragon of mature behavior).

He's called me out as immature and made fun of me multiple times in group. I can't respond to his accusations very much because in group therapy he has authority over me and silences me when I try to respond to him. When I'm quiet, he draws my attention by either calling me out by name or making remarks designed to provoke me (and the silent treatment apparently isn't "adult-like" either).

My parents are still convinced that his methods are working/he wants the best for me and are still forcing me to go, even though I've 1) tried to convince them that his methods aren't helping and 2) taken up extra chores to convince them that I can mature and function without his "help". I'm glad you guys have confirmed that therapists aren't supposed to talk politics and it isn't just me.

I'm not in as bad a state as I was a couple weeks ago, but I still have no idea how I'm going to put up with this until late January.

Can you not just go to a different therapist???

Unfortunately, no, for several reasons.

1) My parents insist on this one and are threatening to take away my pocket money/internet/phone access if I don't go. I rely on them for financial support and boarding.

2) There aren't any affordable therapists in the area other than this one.

3) Family difficulties have entwined us as a family pretty deeply with this particular therapist.

So I'm pretty much stuck.

I'm sorry, anon. That sounds like a really frustrating, painful situation and I don't have any advice and it just sucks

hugs if wanted

Stop going. It's not like your parents can force you into a car and force you to talk in the appointment. Or, if you go, just don't say anything. Sit I silence for the half hour/hour you're there. He cannot make you talk.

Edited 2016-12-03 01:41 (UTC)

I'm not sure that's good advice -- it sounds like OP has no leverage and no alternatives. Rebellion is going to be squahsed pretty hard; in fact, it sounds like the find of situations where her parents coul dhave her committed/sedated against her will for being 'difficult.'

As someone who stayed with a bad therapist for waaaaay too long because she threatened to have me committed: that's a scary place to be in.

If you're in group therapy, are there others who disagree with him? Because let me tell you about strength in numbers, it can be wonderful...

Unfortunately, no. I'm the only one who openly disagrees with him. There are a couple people who dropped out because of his methods, but they kept quiet about it before leaving. Almost all of the people left agree with his methods and his politics.

ugh, that's awful.

He sounds absolutely awful and I am SO sorry you're in this situation. Don't listen to him. He's an unprofessional pig.

I'd report him.

This. If you can find the right authorities, report the FUCK out of him. Find the proper authorities for your state and report him for it.

Thirding. You CAN do this and not enough people do. And likely you're not the only one suffering from it.

How do I go about reporting him?

http://www.apa.org/ethics/complaint/

Also check this out: http://www.stopbadtherapy.com/main/boards.shtml

You can also google "site:.gov licensing board for counselors [your state]"

For example: I live in Pennsylvania, and when I click on the fourth result that comes up in my search ("Professional Licensing"), I get this page -- http://www.dos.pa.gov/ProfessionalLicensing/Pages/default.aspx

You can see on the right-hand menu the link for "File a Complaint"

Edited 2016-12-03 02:12 (UTC)

For advice, what would be the best thing to report him for? The best thing I can think of is being overly abrasive/bullying towards patients. Is bringing up politics against the wishes of a patient/group member a reportable offense?

if he's bullying you for your political leanings I'd say it's absolutely a relevant thing to report

Re: OP

(Anonymous) - 2016-12-03 15:10 (UTC) - Expand

Fourthing! Please stay safe! <3

So, this guy is clearly a giant douchebag, but since you're stuck there, you're going to have to play his game. And what he wants from you is for you to respond to him without getting angry. And really, that's a good thing to be able to do. Now, if he was worth more than a pile of human waste, he'd be teaching you how to do that, but since he's not, sounds like you're on your own.

All I can say is to take deep breaths. Practice keeping your voice measured. Listen to the arguments other people make without getting enraged and practice mimicking that tone. But stop the silent treatment. It's not what he wants, and it actually IS a kind of childish tactic.

How good of an actor are you? Because something I found works wonders on occasion is: The more antagonistic, rude and aggressive people are towards you, getting increasingly distantly polite and superficially friendly can take the wind right out of their sails. Pisses them right of, too, but being polite in the face of rudeness and bullying is a pretty mature reaction and he shouldn't be able to fault you for that on any logical basis. (Then again he sounds like a bully who picks on you on principle but it might be worth a try.)

I'd still report him, but to get over the time you still have to go there...

Dude, just agree with him pleasantly. That is all he wants to hear. He's a bad therapist, but since you are being forced to go to him you have to deal with him on his own terms and that means just letting the baby hear what he wants. You can get real therapy when you move out and pay for it on your own dime.

Acting like OP should be "just" doing x instruction is not helpful.

If you've been paying attention at all these last couple of weeks, then do better.

OP has three choices. Keep on fighting, leave entirely, or knuckle under. Keeping on fighting is just leading to an escalation which the OP is emotionally losing. OP is not prepared to walk away. OP is left with knuckling under, or at least give the illusion of doing so. OP should knuckle under. Sometimes being an adult means learning to roll with the punches, this is one of those times.

I hope you're working hard to be independent from your parents and that when you are, you let them know that them refusing to believe you about your asshole therapist has damaged your relationship with them, and that it is 100% on them to fix.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

[ SECRET POST #3621 ]

Venting post

Re: Venting post

OP

Re: Venting post

Re: Venting post

Re: Venting post

Re: Venting post

Re: Venting post

OP

Re: OP

Re: Venting post

Re: Venting post

Re: Venting post

Re: Venting post

OP

Re: OP

OP

Re: OP

Re: OP

Re: Venting post

Re: Venting post

Re: Venting post

Re: Venting post

nayrt

Re: nayrt

Re: Venting post