[ SECRET POST #3633 ]

[case]

⌈ Secret Post #3633 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

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Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 01 pages, 18 secrets from Secret Submission Post #519.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 1 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Comments

Re: TW: Abuse

[(Anonymous)]

It sounds like because the older person is rather childish, they may be on the same page mentally. But there are still some red flags with this, one if they started dating when one person was 16 (I don't care how immature you are, an adult is still very different from a highschooler) and the "very protective" sounds like they are being controlling and not trusting that his SO can make their own decisions about things.

I don't always jump to calling age differences creepy but I do think the larger the age gap, the harder it is to make the relationship work. My personal rule is 10 years either way, because that seems to be the most amount of time where you can still relate to a person on an equal level. Immaturity can effect this, but like in your example even people who are immature will still often treat anyone younger then them like a child, and that just makes for a weird relationship in my mind.

Re: TW: Abuse

[(Anonymous)]

My father is working on a family history, and the more I think about his parents' relationship, the more I wonder about it. I want to believe Grandfather respected her as a peer: she had had a hard life, and had to grow up at a very young age--she was already out of school and working full time as a maid by the time she was 14. Later she worked as a waitress in the restaurant he part-owned. The way my father tells the story, it sounds sweet and romantic--Grandfather courted her by giving her books! he was supposed to go to Greece to find a bride, but ran off with Nana to Maryland on the spur of the moment instead. Still, I wonder.

But I can't see a thing that's sweet in the story this gal has been telling me. I suspect the guy is pressuring her into marrying him, and she's vulnerable because she really doesn't seem to have anyone else who cares.

Re: TW: Abuse

[(Anonymous)]

My Grandparents also had an age gap, not as large as yours, but enough that it was discussed. They had a great relationship but things were different when they got together (they met on a train which I can't even imagine because I would never let a guy on a train get near me.) It's possible the age gap doesn't feel as bad when the younger party is already independent.

The thing I worry about with the girl in your story is that she may regret this relationship. Things can change a lot from your teens to your early twenties and into your late twenties and thirties. And if she's in a vulnerable position it's even more likely that she'll grow into a person that doesn't need him. Without knowing them I can't say for sure, but I'd probably be concerned.

Re: TW: Abuse

[(Anonymous)]

This guy barely scraped through high school, so I suspect he wanted to nip her college ambitions in the bud because he didn't want her to get ideas about not needing him. Except I think he is really going to depend on her.