fandomsecrets | [ SECRET POST #3648 ]

[ SECRET POST #3648 ]

⌈ Secret Post #3648 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

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Or in other words, how do I get myself to NOT get turned on by the things I get turned on? The thing that turns me on in fiction makes me wanna cry my eyes out when ever it happens in real life, and I hate this... I dunno, disconnect I feel? I know it's only in my fantasies but I hate how this particular kink is the thing I need to get off.

I just wanna get turned on by the blandest, the most vanilla sex imaginable. Is that too much to ask, brain, is it?

Therapy. Either to curb your love of the kink or get comfortable with it.

... it kind of maybe is asking a bit too much? You can only re-program your likes and dislikes so far, anon. By all means explore other types of fanfic, or hey, take a long break from porny fic altogether for a while and see if that helps. But people generally don't choose their kinks, it doesn't really work that way.

Um, try some variety? Experiment with different shades of vanilla?

Maybe try breaking down the kinks that bother you into component flavours and seeing if you can find those subflavours elsewhere.

Bad news, anon. You can't actively tell yourself not to get turned on by things and then expect it to work.

You can stop indulging in the thing that turns you on (aka abstinence) and search for other things in porn that you don't find problematic. Or you can take the novel approach of realizing that PORN IS NOT REAL LIFE. It doesn't apply. It's not the same. Having a kink that you like in porn is miles removed from having a kink that you like irl, and it certainly doesn't mean that you'll ever want to do that thing you like in porn in your real sex life.

Repression ain't healthy yo. It'd be a whole lot easier on you to just accept that you get turned on by fucked up shit than to try to change it, if not impossible.

Fantasy is where you get to explore all sort of fucked up things without actually harming any breathing people.

You can find new kinks and you can grow less interested in your old ones, but that takes time and I don't think you can unlearn by will. Better come to terms with the fact that fiction is fiction and not hurting anybody and reality is different altogether. As long as you can separate the two, there's no harm.

It's very common too, to get off on things you wouldn't touch with a ten foot pole if you actually encountered them. You can learn to cope with this, by informing yourself and read what you can find about it and perhaps discuss with sane people. Best of luck.

Sometimes kinks do change on their own. I've never actively tried to repress one, but I've been into things in the past that don't interest me anymore, and I acquire new ones every now and then.

It's totally ok to be turned on by something in fantasy that's a huge turnoff IRL. I am the most vanilla ever when it comes to actual sex, but fantasy I get off to all kinds of weird and would-be-fucked-up-if-real shit. Everything from hypnosis non-con to transforming someone into a living pool toy there's tons and tons of weird porn out there.

Seriously, the best you can do is try to think critically about the elements involved and see if there's ones you feel better about in different situations. Or try and reframe your fantasy "This is happening on the holodeck and nothing bad can actually happen to anyone." "This is part of a scene and the characters are just pretending." "A wizard did it."

Also, as much as people like to be snobby about research-paper level smut writing, it is totally 100% ok to be turned on by stuff that's entirely unrealistic.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

[ SECRET POST #3648 ]

How can I change my kinks?

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