[ SECRET POST #3649 ]

[case]

⌈ Secret Post #3649 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

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04. [SPOILERS for Moana]



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05. [SPOILERS for Pokemon Sun and Moon]



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06. [SPOILERS for Fantastic Beasts]



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07. [WARNING for possible unspecified triggery discussion]












Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 00 pages, 00 secrets from Secret Submission Post #521.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Comments

Re: Stupid anxiety

[herpymcderp]

It's probably fine, anon. If anything had gone wrong test wise you would almost certainly have been contacted by someone. Likely someone just forgot to bring their phone or something.

Re: Stupid anxiety

[(Anonymous)]

AYRT, who is drunk mom anon if that wasn't clear--test results won't be out for several days. I'm not worrying about them, I know she's dying and so does she. But I was right to be worried because after my aunt dropped her off back home, she got wasted and fell and I found her on the floor. I have been arguing back and forth with her for three hours about calling 911. I don't drive or have a car and she is all over blood from a quarter sized contusion over her right eye. I can't tell if she's got other issues under her hair on that side but it looks pretty oozy. And she keeps going back and forth about whether she wants help to get her off the floor and into bed, at one point she said she thinks she cracked a rib. Wouldn't be the first time. She actually got into bed herself over my objections when I first found her, then tried to get up to stop me calling 911 and splatted again, although she didn't hit anything and more sort of slithered to the floor. I washed the worst of the blood off and she's pretty scraped up. I don't want to deal with the possibility that when the paramedics will show up she'll refuse treatment. But I also don't want her to die, even though the likelihood is that eventually one of her passive-in-name-only suicide attempts will work.

Re: Stupid anxiety

[herpymcderp]

But I also don't want her to die, even though the likelihood is that eventually one of her passive-in-name-only suicide attempts will work.

This is really the shittiest of situations, and I have no doubt you're doing the absolute best you can under the circumstances. I wouldn't call what you're experiencing "anxiety" as much as... well, a completely normal mental state for anyone in your position.

I wish there was something I could tell you to make this better. The only thing I can say is that at least you aren't losing her suddenly; unexpected death tends to make the whole thing a lot more traumatic for surviving relatives. It sounds terribly grim to say, but at least this way you have a greater chance of being able to get back to normal at the end of all of this. You just have to wait it out and let go of the idea that you can change any of this, or that you have any responsibility for the way it plays out. The only person left who can change this situation is the person with the addiction, and it doesn't always work out for the best even with the best care and counselling.

I know you're already doing everything in your power to help, just remember to take care of yourself while you're fighting for other people.

Re: Stupid anxiety

[(Anonymous)]

Thanks for the good wishes; she has terminal liver cancer and has had non-Hodgkin's lymphoma and breast cancer in the last three years; none of them metastasized, she just keeps getting new and horrifying varieties of cancer. The liver cancer at least is understandable, between a lifetime of alcoholism and all the chemo; she doesn't have any of the known breast cancer genes. In her position I might drink myself to death too. At this point I just want her to die warm and clean in a hospital bed and not choking or bleeding on the floor at home, and I figure I'll have done all I could. And the hospital'll be less traumatic for me so I won't have to walk past where she kicks the bucket every damn day. It's still no fun going down the stretch of freeway where my paranoid schizophrenic dad got run over and killed.