[ SECRET POST #485 ]

[case]

⌈ Secret Post #485 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

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Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 15 pages, 366 secrets from Secret Submission Post #070.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 1 - broken links ], [ 1 2 3 4 5 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 1 2 3 - too big ], [ 1 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Comments

[streussal.livejournal.com]

10 - People think Burns is capable of healthy relationships with anyone? Even if Smithers did manage some kind of... thing with Burns, it would be supremely fucked up. I just like Smithers/Burns for the lolz. In any sort of reality, Smithers should find a nice man who actually respects him.

35 - Best secret ever. Oh, Twilight. I'm so glad I never read you.

39 - Spike and Dru are awesome. I also love Darla/Angelus. (And Darla/Dru, but that's not het.)

57 - Well, Misa did use Rem. But the entire plot is about people using people. And Rem is pretty much entirely defined by her relationship with Misa, so ignoring/bashing it seems bizarre.

59 - Oh wow, I hadn't heard that. Uck. (Sometimes I wish that I wasn't on the internet so much to find out things like this.)

[(Anonymous)]

Yup. She has one fic where they get snowed in together, things get steamy, and they end up having sex towards the end. o_O (Me: He's 104! Her: No, he's 80! It's not as strange that way!) Another is about how much Burns enjoyed it when Smithers snogged him in "Lisa the Skeptic" and how he was moving in on his yes-man as well.

And then she goes on about the case for Burns being bisexual. I'm a bi fellow myself, but...really now. It's Mr. Burns, for crying out loud.

[streussal.livejournal.com]

He's over a hundred, definitely. I thought he was more like 140. I can imagine Smithers cuddling Mr. Burns to keep him warm or something, but that's pretty much it. Aside from masturbating by himself later. (...oh god, why am I thinking about this?) And Mr. Burns never seems to even notice that Smithers is attracted to him. (Of course, I haven't watched that particular episode repeatedly...)

And why is there porn for The Simpsons anyways?

In fandom, most characters are bisexual. But Mr. Burns isn't allowed to have sex ever. Or at least ever again.

[(Anonymous)]

It keeps changing, but he's definitely in the hundred-plus area.

Well, if Smithers could dress in a bear costume and leap into Burns' lap in an attempt to cheer him up...I wouldn't be surprised at the cuddling thing...anything beyond that, no. If the two were stranded (at Smithers' house, I forgot to mention that) together, I doubt Burns would be thinking of how hot Smithers really was. (To facilitate the whole falling-into-each-other's-arms thing, she included Twister and Burns discovering Smithers' gay porn collection into the mix.) And no, you're not the only one who thinks he might...you know.

Rule 34...you've heard of it, right? If it exists...

Yup. If the man can't crush a paper cup...

[streussal.livejournal.com]

Oh, Rule 34. Sometimes I really hate you.