[ SECRET POST #3678 ]

[case]

⌈ Secret Post #3678 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

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Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 00 pages, 00 secrets from Secret Submission Post #526.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Comments

Re: Negative Opnions You Have

[(Anonymous)]

Demi anon from earlier: I actually have only dated one person I would say to be my 'type,' and other than that I go for personality first. But I actually agree with you. Most people date based on already being attracted to someone. So no, I'm not saying anything about being special just because 'i feel bad' or I 'don't want to admit attraction plays a part.' nor am I accusing Demisexuality as a whole of being inherently slut shamey. When I talk about that, I talk exclusively about things I have actually seen from people identifying as Demi (And I did say that not everyone who identifies as Demi acts that way).

So... No? I don't get Demisexuality because I don't get why it's a thing (I fully believe those people need an emotional attachment before they're attracted, I just don't believe it's really necessary for that to have it's own sexuality attached to that. It's not really a big issue, I'd argue most people feel that way), not because I'm somehow internalizing something or denying something.

Re: Negative Opnions You Have

[(Anonymous)]

See, the thing is, demisexuality is more of a qualifier for... Other sexualities if that makes sense? A demisexual lesbian, for example, as I understand it, is probably only going to be attracted to another woman, but she needs the emotional attachment first and can't at all be attracted without it.

It's basically shorthand and a convenient word to make it easier. If you're solely going off of Tumblr: don't.

Re: Negative Opnions You Have

[(Anonymous)]

Nayrt

I agree that "demisexual" only has meaning as a qualifier rather than it's own orientation, since alone it says nothing about what kind of people you might be attracted to, should you develop an emotional attachment (and surely demisexual people aren't attracted to *everyone* they share an emotional attachment with, i.e. they still have platonic friends and family relationships).

Re: Negative Opnions You Have

[(Anonymous)]

I think the thing that confuses me is I see it packaged with 'demiromantic' a lot which seems to mean.... you need an emotional connection with someone before you want to date them? Is it really the assumed default that most people date people they don't like? Why?

And it just seems like the human relationship with romance and sexual attraction is ridiculously complicated and weird and trying to shove it into too small boxes is going to be frustrating. Like being a lesbian doesn't mean being attracted emotionally/sexually to every single other woman, it just means everyone you are emotionally/sexually attracted to is a woman. So... how 'picky' do you need to be before you stop being a lesbian and start being a demilesbian? Where's the line drawn? How much sex do you have to have with people you don't like before you're not demi anymore?

I have had similar frustrating wrestlings with bi vs. pan where the only agreed-on difference between the two is some like one word better and some like the other word better.