fandomsecrets | [ SECRET POST #3699 ]

[ SECRET POST #3699 ]

⌈ Secret Post #3699 ⌋

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So we have a kind of temp kid at work who's pretty much a huge weeaboo. He's a nice dude, clearly trying to fit in and make friends at his first job. But he's definitely the type of person who owns a Naruto headband and goes by a terrible nickname like "Noctis" at his high school. Every conversation he's involved in, he turns it into some sort of anime/jrpg thing. Top tier weeb.

Like a fool, I let it slip that I've watched some anime. I was just trying to be less of the Scary Stone-faced Russian Boss, right? Like, "yes I am also a living breathing human person who enjoys popular media." iirc I mentioned that I liked Samurai Champloo and TTGL.

And now he won't stop recommending series for me to watch or jrpgs for me to play, or asking me if I've watched some series or other. I've tried to make it clear I'm not interested but in true hyper-nerd fashion he fails at social cues. I've even gone so far as to say I really don't like most anime, but that's no deterrent.

I'm trying to avoid saying "Look, most anime is fucking stupid and I have no interest in watching moe schoolgirls use their panties to pilot giant mechs or whatever. Your hobby is terrible and anime was a mistake." I don't want to be an asshole about things someone likes, especially since his only crime is being an awkward teenager.

I only have another month of dealing with this, so I should try to just suck it up and deal. I don't want his first boss to be some heartless asshole, you know? But just... ugh...

You're at work so just redirect the conversation to work stuff? Give him a job to do in another room?

That's pretty much what I've been doing, as best I can. The problem is, this is a guy who can relate literally ANYTHING to anime. Tell him the blue isn't light enough and he'll come back with something like "okay, I'll make it more like Rei Ayanami's hair!" orz

Oh damn. You work with other people, right?
Can you just be like "hey (coworker), can you teach (teenager I'm trying not to murder) how to do (job)?"

We've been passing him around as best we can, yeah.

There's a very simple way to deal with this, and that is to say, "No." to every single thing he asks about. Yes, it might appear heartless but it's probably the only way he'll get the point that you aren't interested.

Plus, you're supposed to be his boss, right? In the past when I was in a similar position, I might be friendly with people on my team but I wasn't friends with them. Better he learns that lesson now than later when he eventually does have an asshole boss.

Dude, I think that would just lead to some sort of horrible teen drama pity party, though. Like, I have to work with this kid for another month, I don't want to listen to him weeping into his lunch box every day. And he's the first temp we've had who isn't pants-wetting terrified of me, so I don't want to fuck that up.

I think he realizes I'm not and can't be his friend. He still calls me 'sir' and is always very polite. But short of going full Gordon Ramsey I don't know how to get through to him that NOBODY CARES about his shitty waifu cartoons. I mean, I don't know how much more blunt I can be than "I don't like anime" and "I don't enjoy jrpgs."

No, no, no. You're not understanding me. I'm not telling you to yell at him, I'm telling you to be repetitive. And persistent. Like training a dog.

Don't be mean, just be completely disinterested for long enough and eventually he will get the point. To give an example, I used to have this guy on my team who was a furry. No joke. He'd talk about conventions, wore a tail, brought comics, talked about his "fursona" to anyone at all who would indulge him.

Except every time he did it to me I would either fake a call, just nod and stare at him blankly, or ask him to look up a random P&P for me. Took a week or so but he stopped.

I've been DOING the 'oh damn I'd better take care of this important thing', and the blank stare, and making him go do other things, and literally everything I can think of. I've been doing this for a month now. It's just not getting through.

lol tbh this kid sounds less weeb and more autistic by the minute.

Sorry, you might have to go full Kremlin on his ass.

Nah, just very young and oblivious. I don't think he interacts with people outside of his weeb circle much.

I don't go Kremlin the asses of kids, dude. Only grown men. :P

I say this as someone with obsessively passionate interests, that sometimes the only way is to be firm in your disinterest and in establishing social boundaries because some people will not get it otherwise.

When I was younger and less socially apt than I am now, I would interpret a lukewarm "eh" as interest and keep going.

I'm not diagnosing your coworker/employee but.. it might help.

I mean I wouldn't say "your interest is bad and stupid" but plainly stating "I am extremely uninterested" would get the message across. Be honest and firm but also neutral in stating your disinterest.

Edited 2017-02-18 23:29 (UTC)

I don't want to shut him down too hard, too soon. This isn't bothersome enough to hurt his feelings over, and he's very young and probably pretty sensitive to criticism. But, I will have to talk to him about it before he goes, since it could be a serious problem in a more strict workplace.

He has an evaluation and closing interview? ...debrief? in a month when he leaves. I'm going to try and lay it out for him then in plain terms.

Okay, first, chill a little. I know exactly what you mean about annoying, socially awkward weeb types bombarding you and making you feel embarrassed and awkward when you let slip that you are a geek, too. But c'mon, no need to rip on his interests and insult anime or geeky hobbies. It's okay that he likes that stuff. It sucks that he's socially awkward and that's something he has to work on, but there's no need for you to punish him for it as long as his intentions are friendly.

What you do is redirect. Don't get into conversations about anime, but redirect it to work stuff. If he asks you direct questions, simply answer in short sentences, and redirect. You can redirect nicely, you don't have to chew him out or deathglare him whenever he talks anime. You'll be doing him a huge favor if you can help guide him toward more work-appropriate conversations and shut down some of the awkward stuff, but again, there is zero reason to be a dick about it.

It sounds like you want to do right by this kid, so it might be a good idea to sit him down over coffee or something and give him a mini-review. Frame it as professional development -- this is his first job, and he should learn something from it. Make sure that you let him know what he's doing well, but also let him know that it's important to have a professional attitude at work, and that people will take him more seriously if he doesn't relate everything to anime.

That's kind of been my plan for his final review. I mean, he's really a great employee outside of the anime thing. He's great, and then he'll open his mouth and say something about how the blow torches remind him of when Sasuke defended the village with his blue flame attacks which are called whatever in Japanese, and it's just like... kid. Please. Stop.

He seriously needs to work on separating his personal interests from his professional life.

I wouldn't leave it for the final review. I would absolutely speak with him nicely before then. I've been that awkward kid, and it sucks to find out that you've inadvertently been screwing up when you thought that everything was going well, and nobody bothered to tell you until it was too late for you to fix it. Giving him a mini-review will let him get some feedback on what he needs to work on as well as what is going right, and it means that hopefully his final review will be more positive because it gives him a chance to improve before he needs to leave.

I think he needs someone to explain to him that there is a time and place for geeky references, that some obscure references will go over almost everyone's head, and this job is not a place for that kind of geeking out. Explain this. Don't dodge it, don't avoid it, break it down for him.

ia, but I think I have to wait until he's done here to have that conversation with him. It's not so much that he makes geeky references, but that he lacks social awareness of when people are and aren't interested, and that's a skill he'll need to learn if he wants to make it in this industry. Being able to read a client and adjust your pitch makes or breaks the deal.

I don't want to get into it a month before he leaves especially since he's otherwise been great. And tbf the rest of us are pretty much discussing our own nerd stuff 100% of the time and it would be pretty hypocritical to say "nobody wants to hear your anime anecdotes, this is a job" and then turn around and start talking about Dark Souls Let's Players.

I think a month before he leaves is a great time, because it gives him a chance to work on his behavior while you're there as his coach, so to speak. You'll be in the position to tell him at the end of the month, "Hey, you've really improved at keeping things on-topic and professional since our last conversation -- you'll do really well at your next job!" Hopefully.

sorry I don't have any advice but I know how you feel, my best friend's boyfriend is lord god king weeaboo and I hate anime.

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[ SECRET POST #3699 ]

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