fandomsecrets | [ SECRET POST #3703 ]

[ SECRET POST #3703 ]

⌈ Secret Post #3703 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

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Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 01 pages, 14 secrets from Secret Submission Post #529.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

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Ah. To me, the person who (based on the secret) only wants to break up with someone because they won't watch a TV show is unreasonable.

*shrug*

It does seem like a minor complaint, but I also think it's a real valid complaint, and of that's the way the relationship math adds up for OP, fair enough. Of course I also think both of are probably making unconscious assumptions about them that are influencing us as well.

How is it a real valid complaint? To me it's on par of me saying to my SO, "You've eaten all these other types of pasta but won't eat lasagna. I want to break up."

No one is obligate to like (or even try) everything or anything that someone else enjoys. As long as they're not being a dick about the other person liking it.

Because I think it's a reasonable desire, and a reasonable expectation, for you to want your SO to try things you care about. I think that's reasonable. Now, how much you can compromise on that, and where you draw the lines, and how seriously you take it, that varies, but the desire in itself is reasonable and fair. Therefore, OP is valid in feeling aggrieved about their SO not being willing to do so.

OP is going to have a hard time finding someone who likes EVERY thing they like.

I didn't say it was a reasonable expectation that they would *like* everything, but that they'd be willing to *try* things

And even then it's not even a blanket thing but you should at least be open minded or have some kind of reason not to try something, not just be like fuck that

nayrt

+1

I think it's a reasonable desire to want your SO to like the things you like, I'll totally agree. I think it's human nature to be with someone and want them to enjoy things you enjoy, because it makes your brain go, "Yay we're compatible!"

But it seems like an invalid complaint to me to leap from, "Hey I like X would you give it a try for me?" to "I like X and if you refuse to watch it with me, I want to break up."

At that point you're either being a ridiculously controlling assblaster or you're just not that into them and you're fishing for a reason to break things off.

I don't think it's a reasonable expectation for someone to like it, but to try and watch an episode, which is what we're talking about here

It's be a different story if OP's SO had tried it

NA
I get the feeling it's not JUST "You won't watch Star Trek with me!" but rather the broader extension of "You won't even try to take an interest in my interests and the outright untested dismissal feels disrespectful."

If that is the case, then this secret is moot. But in the secret OP specifically says they are breaking up with him because he won't watch Star Trek.

Or...Star Trek is the fandom-relevant component of a broader issue.

Which isn't in the secret. This is all speculation because OP decided to confess this is a secret on a fandom site. Though, they do specifically say that THIS is what they are breaking up over.

You do you kaijin, but know you're being pedantic to an absurd degree.

I am reading the information I am provided with. Why is it MORE reasonable to say, "Obviously (despite the secret) OP has had numerous problems with their BF and this is the final straw" as opposed to, "OP cites this is the ONLY reason they want to break up so that must be the reason."

nayrt but

... because it's a lot more reasonable and rational to assume that OP might be unable or unwilling to sum up the entirety of their relationship and all its weaknesses and strengths in a secret?

You seem like you're bringing some baggage to this discussion and it's not like you to be so... er, I don't know... vehement and weird about it? Like this is a strange hill to die on, unless a Trekkie killed your whole family or something.

YES.

Okay. From now on I will be sure to create backstories for secret makers instead of just using their actual words.

Edited 2017-02-23 01:09 (UTC)

Other anon was right. You're being pedantic to an absurd degree. I'm not sure why, but I hope it gets better for you.

P.S. If Trekkies did murder your whole family, I'm very sorry.

It is hard to be anything but pedantic when you are working with two sentences.

How else should I interpret, "My boyfriend...refused to watch even a single episode of ST:TNG with me. I'm seriously considering breaking up over this..." as anything but the refusal to watch a TV show is the reason for breaking up?

Not really? It just requires one to feel empathy and think critically.

How else should I interpret, "My boyfriend...refused to watch even a single episode of ST:TNG with me. I'm seriously considering breaking up over this..." as anything but the refusal to watch a TV show is the reason for breaking up?

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(Anonymous) - 2017-02-23 01:33 (UTC) - Expand

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kaijinscendre - 2017-02-23 01:38 (UTC) - Expand

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DA

(Anonymous) - 2017-02-23 09:59 (UTC) - Expand

Re: DA

kaijinscendre - 2017-02-23 12:29 (UTC) - Expand

Lol, this sums things up perfectly.

What kind of baggage could they possibly bring to the discussion, I mean other then when some asshole completely disregarded their feelings and forced them to watch something they didn't want to?

But bless you for being so fucking hilarious, treating Kaijin like they must have been traumatized to have a different opinion than yours.

well if you want to get specific the OP is just thinking about it...

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