[ SECRET POST #3703 ]

[case]

⌈ Secret Post #3703 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

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Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 01 pages, 14 secrets from Secret Submission Post #529.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Comments

[thewakokid]

Just so I'm being clear here: I will never watch an episode of Project runway willingly, no matter how into it my girlfriend is. It's not just an hour of my life, it's a LOOOOOOONG hour of my life of boredom and... Just blergh.

I'm being inflexible, sure, but I don't think unreasonable.

[kaijinscendre]

Yup. My sister is always trying to make me watch one show or another. Sometimes I will but often I won't. Why would I waste an hour of my time watching something I don't want to?

[thewakokid]

Right?! And the fact that I would be doing it under duress means that the chances of me actually enjoying the experience is so slim. Even if it's good, I'd just end up resenting being made to watch it.

[kaijinscendre]

Yeah, I am way more likely to dislike something I am forced to consume. Same thing happened in school with assigned reading!

[(Anonymous)]

"Under duress"? "Resent being made to watch it"? Now who's being a whiny baby? Someone you care about could ask you to try something in a franchise you've liked and you'd treat it like some sort of hostage situation because...maybe you heard somewhere it wasn't very good?

[(Anonymous)]

I think he means literally under duress, like if his SO went full metal crazy like OP and said, "If you do not watch Project Runway with me, we're through."

He's now even LESS likely to enjoy this show because he's been fucking emotionally blackmailed into watching it, which is going to colour that experience.

[(Anonymous)]

Bingo
- Wako @ work

[(Anonymous)]

It's called being an adult. It sucks, I know, but we sometimes have to do things we don't like to do to make the people we care about happy.

[kaijinscendre]

I think a part of being an adult is also understanding that others won't like the same things we like.

The Lion King is literally my favorite fictional thing ever created. I planned an entire vacation around seeing it on Broadway. I cried while watching it. I've seen the movies dozens of times. I am thinking of getting a Lion King tattoo. It is hard to describe how much that movie means to me.

And yet, I am close friends with someone who has never seen it and has no interest is seeing it. And that is okay because people have different interests. And a movie/show/book is not a reason to break off a relationship.

[alexi_lupin]

I fucking love The Lion King

[(Anonymous)]

That's not how you have a healthy relationship, though. Being an adult means compromise, yes, but it also means accepting that sometimes the people we care about aren't going to care about the same things that we do and that's okay. And personally, I wouldn't want a friend or an SO to force themselves to do something they didn't like just for my sake.

[(Anonymous)]

being an adult includes not throwing a tantrum because someone doesn't want to watch your imaginary space show

[(Anonymous)]

Being an adult can also mean understanding your s/o doesn't have to like everything you like, and not deciding to throw away a relationship because it 'bothers' you that they simply aren't interested in a show.

[(Anonymous)]

I think if your GF really cares about Project Runway - regardless of the fact that it just seems like a silly and trivial show to most people - then it's kind of unreasonable to refuse to ever watch it with her. And I would say the same thing if she were refusing to ever do something with you that you really cared about despite it being silly and trivial to most people.

[(Anonymous)]

Does anyone really care about Project Runway though?

I jest, but it just seems so bizarre to me that people seem so... I can't think of the word I want here. Like, OP's SO HAS to watch an episode of something OP likes before saying he doesn't watch it, because... "Nah, I'm good thanks." is not a a good response?

I mean, if they're not make any effort to try and like ANY of OP's interests, I think that would be a valid complaint, because you should at least give things a chance when you're together, even if you end up hating it (and it's not something that could kill you) when you're in a relationship, but at the same time, I do think it's okay to say no to things to?

Like, I don't think you should feel obligated to try everything your SO likes in the same way they shouldn't need to try everything you like? It's honestly probably pretty healthy to have separate interests to a degree so that you can have some you time as well?

[(Anonymous)]

I see what you're saying, which is why I think this entire debate rests on an unknown factor, which is how important TNG is to OP.

If this show really means a lot to her (regardless of whether her reasons for caring about it make sense to others), then she should be able to express that to her BF, and her BF should be willing to watch it with her now and again. Because it matters to her, and she wants to share it with him.

OTOH, if OP doesn't really care about TNG that much, she just thinks it's a pretty good show and is annoyed because her BF won't enrich her rewatch experience by watching it with her, then I agree with you that he should be able to take a pass without it being a big deal.

But considering that OP is thinking about breaking up with her BF because he wont watch it with her, it seems only reasonable to assume the show means a lot to her.

I don't think you should feel obligated to try everything your SO likes in the same way they shouldn't need to try everything you like?

To boil it down: this isn't about OP's BF being unwilling to try everything she likes. It's about OP's BF being unwilling to share one of her all time favorite things with her. If TNG is not one of OP's favorite things, then I agree with your point. But given what OP says in her secret, it seems likely TNG is one of her favorite things.

[(Anonymous)]

Yo are my favorite anon in this thread.

[(Anonymous)]

:)

Why thank you! *is easy to please*

[(Anonymous)]

I have to wonder... would you be this much up in arms about it if the genders were reversed?

[(Anonymous)]

Apparently you missed the part where I said to Wako, And I would say the same thing if [your GF] were refusing to ever do something with you that you really cared about despite it being silly and trivial to most people.

So yes, I would definitely still feel the same way about this situation if the genders were reversed. Though I wouldn't describe how I feel about it as "up in arms," so much as "just one of the many, many things that get discussed on this comm about which I have an opinion." Not unlike yourself, it would seem.