[ SECRET POST #3721 ]

[case]

⌈ Secret Post #3721 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

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Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 02 pages, 28 secrets from Secret Submission Post #531.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Comments

Re: Dear Fanfic Author....

[(Anonymous)]

For most women, it's painful. Some women get off on it, but that's a kink. There's absolutely nothing wrong with it, but it's also not the default setting for most. There are a surprising number of writers, especially male-identified ones, who think all women like that.

Re: Dear Fanfic Author....

[(Anonymous)]

Fair. I just hesitate with blanket statements, especially ones that go so strongly against my personal experience. (I'm also not sure I'd call it a kink? Maybe I'm just built weird, but it doesn't hurt at all, it just feels amazing, so it's not like I'm getting off on the pain or something...)

Re: Dear Fanfic Author....

[(Anonymous)]

A kink is just something that turns you on that's outside of the realm of standard turn-ons. Outside of fandom, they're usually limited to things that are generally harmless.

Re: Dear Fanfic Author....

[(Anonymous)]

DA

I get you on this one. I have a similar reaction when people start talking about how painful first time anal is and how much prep is needed, and complaining about how most fics are super unrealistic for making first time anal look easy and painless - because for me it was pain free and almost no prep was needed. I'm always just thinking, like #NotAllAnuses

And I agree with you that pleasure from cervical contact doesn't really seem like a kink (unless it's a major focus of the sex scene) anymore than multiple orgasms, female ejaculation, or coming from only vaginal stimulation ought to be considered kinks. They're all things that happen for some women and not for others. Not that there's anything wrong with tagging any and all of those elements, and it will probably just entice more people into reading the fic.

Re: Dear Fanfic Author....

[(Anonymous)]

By your definition, nothing should be a kink. Whips and chains are just a thing that do it for some, and not for others. Not that there's anything wrong with that, but it's a pretty useless definition of kink.

Re: Dear Fanfic Author....

[(Anonymous)]

Fair enough. But everything being a kink is also a fairly useless definition. Well, not fairly useless so much as utterly useless. There's got to be a middle ground.

Re: Dear Fanfic Author....

[(Anonymous)]

See, I'm the exact opposite. I feel like people classify sex into 'normal' and 'a kink' and so I think there needs to be a bigger push that everything is a kink.

Sex with penetration? A kink that a lot of people are into.
Sex without penetration? Also a kink that people are into.

Sex with no spanking? A kink. Sex with spanking included? A kink.

Even your pushback that no no, that's not a kink, that's totally normal, I am 100% normal, it's normal sex, it just doesn't apply to everyone. Within the realm of Only Involving Consenting Adults I think it would be better overall to understand that everything's a kink and nothing should be assumed as a default. I just don't see trying to figure how what percentage of sexually normal to sexually abnormal someone is being very healthy overall. I'm thinking that's something that people have observed, where guys watched degradation porn without anything pointing out that degradation is a KINK they were more likely to assume degradation is part of normal female sexuality and to react accordingly when they met a woman who was abnormal and weird and didn't like it.