fandomsecrets | [ SECRET POST #3730 ]

⌈ Secret Post #3730 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

01.

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02.

[Movie: 8Uppers, Actor/Singer: Nishikido Ryo]

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03.

[Psych, Shawn/Jules]

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04.

[Gentlemen Prefer Blondes]

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05.

[Yuri on Ice]

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06.

[Irish comedian Ed Byrne and the Great British Bake Off]

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07.

[Pokemon B/W]

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08.

[Overwatch]

Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 02 pages, 28 secrets from Secret Submission Post #533.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

There's a lot of leeway between "maintaining neutrality" and "smacking someone upside the head", you know that, right? Your ostensible reason for remaining neutral might work in situations where there is no clear "right" answer, or as you say, when both sides have equal weight. But not every disagreement is as low key as deciding whether to order pepperoni pizza vs. sausage pizza and there are many disagreements that are weighted more heavily toward one side than another. When you encounter the latter, staying neutral isn't really that admirable - you're avoiding the responsibility of taking a stance and then patting yourself on the back for being drama free.

When taken to extremes, that can be irritating because people see it as very artificial, as in pretending like both sides have equal merit and you can't possibly decide, when the real reason looks like you simply don't want the burden of having to acknowledge that one side is a shitty idea. It's perfectly fine if you dislike confrontation, but again, that's not the same as pretending that you've chosen to be neutral because both sides of the argument have equal merit.

When you encounter the latter, staying neutral isn't really that admirable - you're avoiding the responsibility of taking a stance and then patting yourself on the back for being drama free.

NA

This sums it up really well I think.

As an example, I have this one sort-of friend who will voluntarily, without me pushing him at all, say to me that he thinks he's a feminist. But he also has this guy friend who has some aggressively sexist and regressive views about women. One time the three of us ended up hanging out, and his sexist friend started talking about how we need to teach girls to respect themselves so they don't get raped. So I - very civilly - said I thought it was a lot more complicated than that. He instantly got defensive, asked me what I thought we should do instead, didn't let me actually answer, and started calling my ideas stupid and implying that I was stupid for not seeing that he was right. Meanwhile, my sort-of friend completely abstained from getting involved, and basically just tried to act like it was all very amusing.

And that's why my sort-of friend is only a sort-of friend. Because he's so intent on avoiding conflict that it's hard to know anything concrete about him, or feel like you're actually connecting with him at all. He's a teflon human being.

[ SECRET POST #3730 ]

Re: Worst qualities of generally good people

Re: Worst qualities of generally good people