fandomsecrets | [ SECRET POST #3732 ]

[ SECRET POST #3732 ]

⌈ Secret Post #3732 ⌋

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He's had cancer for a few years now, but he seemed to be fighting it well. Just....not anymore, I guess. Latest test are not good, and he's also not eating well, and seems just generally fragile.

My relationship with my dad has been complex over the years, but now I can't get over the idea we might already have had a last birthday, or last Christmas, and if that's the case...well i don't think i'm ready to let go. And while he is actually older now than most his male relatives got to be...I still tend to associate death of a parents with people older than me, especially in this day and age. I mean there was this girl in college, and my ex's dad died young, but those were generally outliers. It doesn't ever seem real you'll be one of them. I already lost a friend and an aunt to cancer last year. everything is wearing me down.

And the shitty thing is I'd been doing well the last three month. I got out of a toxic job, been seeing friends again, being less depressed. But it just really seems like doesn't like me catching a break.

Sorry for the rant, but it feels like I needed to.

I'm so sorry

Thank you.

I'm really sorry. I hope those good things continue for you at least. They can help you cope.

Thank you. I think the thing is...this is such a huge thing it does overshadow the rest. But I do hope the rest stays bearable.

Oh friend :( I'm so, so, so sorry. Sending as many internet hugs as you need. <3

*Hugs* and thank you. Sadly there's not much to be said and done, but we'll see.

I'm sorry.

Thank you.

That sucks royally! A coworker who's not that much older than me, both her brother and her BIL have cancer right now--she's actually off this week because they're unfortunately just waiting for the shoe to drop with her brother.

I couldn't imagine losing my father now (or in ten years) let alone my brother. :/

Cancer is disproporionally present in my family (3 out of 4 grandparents died from it). It does suck. Also there's not fairness whatsoever in it. A girl I went to school with still has all 4 grandparents and even one great-grandparent. Yeah, sure, they tend to have kids younger in that family, but still. And obviously I'd never, ever wish that one her, but it seems like some people can go through life for 30 years unscathed, while others just lose everyone at once.

Re: My dad's...not at all well.

(Anonymous) - 2017-03-24 00:31 (UTC) - Expand

Re: My dad's...not at all well.

kallanda_lee - 2017-03-24 00:45 (UTC) - Expand

Been there, but heart disease. It fucking sucks. And it fucking sucked because when I was a teenager, because my parents had me so late in life I was sure they'd be dead by the time I was thirty. They were just like, "Come on, kid, we're not that old", but then there goes Dad.

I hope you can keep the good things in your life going. Every bit helps!

Thank you. Yeah, mine had me later in life, too...but you still sort of hope, you know? I live across a retirement home and there's like several centenarians there, ffs.

Also sorry for your loss :(

I'm sorry.

Thank you.

Cancer sucks. Cures for all the different kinds can't come fast enough, and I'm sorry for you and your dad. (Hugs) if you want them.

Re: My dad's...not at all well.

kallanda_lee - 2017-03-24 00:29 (UTC) - Expand

I'm so sorry. I felt the same way with my dad. It's just so fucking awful.

Re: My dad's...not at all well.

kallanda_lee - 2017-03-24 00:45 (UTC) - Expand

I'm so, so sorry. All the hugs for you and your family. I hope things get better for him and for you.

Re: My dad's...not at all well.

kallanda_lee - 2017-03-24 00:53 (UTC) - Expand

I'm really sorry...

Re: My dad's...not at all well.

kallanda_lee - 2017-03-24 01:01 (UTC) - Expand

Daaang. I wanna say 'be hopeful', but I know I am terrible at offering hope to people.

(Seriously, I defer to my family during these situations).

I'm so sorry, all the internet hugs and support from me. ❤❤❤

I'm sorry, hon. At least you know it's happening, and it sounds like you're speaking.

I'm sorry. It's hard losing a parent at any age, especially to something as shitty as cancer.

I'm terribly late, but...first.... I'm so sorry. My own dad died about ten years ago, and I still miss him so much....

I think - just do everything you can to build some good memories. Don't give up on your own life, your friends, that kind of thing, but include your dad more, see him more, talk to him more. Ask him questions about when he was a kid, about when *you* were a kid, just...know him.

It doesn't have to be some kind of crazy, intense, movie-style *thing*, just...call him and talk for ten minutes, drop by and watch a show, or have a meal, look at some old pictures. You'll be glad you did.
*offers hugs*

I'm really sorry to hear that. I hope that despite the worries now you still end up having many good times together.
And that life catches you a break.

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