[ SECRET POST #3739 ]

[case]

⌈ Secret Post #3739 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

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Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 01 pages, 07 secrets from Secret Submission Post #533.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Comments

Re: Ethical dilemma...

[(Anonymous)]

No negative repercussion except they may haul off and punch you, plus you are kinda trying to shame them. It seems you are more invested in making yourself seem clever about spotting something than you are caring about them. Have you been checked for a psychiatric diagnosis, because I'm seeing a bit of narcissism here.

Re: Ethical dilemma...

[(Anonymous)]

Oh wow, okay. I just thought that if she tried to pin down what her mental health issues were, she'd have a fighting chance of getting her life in order and talking to her kids again before she passes away - which is something she really, really wants more than anything.

Re: Ethical dilemma...

[(Anonymous)]

I don't see you as narcissistic at all, OP. Some people just have very set ways of thinking about issues like the one you're bringing up.

I mean, I think that when you bring up mental illness in certain environments (this comm being one of them) a lot of people tend to default to identifying with the mentally ill person, and projecting their own experiences onto your scenario. So while they actually know very little about you or your scenario, they're making certain knee-jerk presumptions, and what they presume they're seeing is a more normative person passing judgement on a mentally ill person and wanting the mentally ill person to change.

Now personally, I'm mentally ill, but I also know that mental illness can sometimes make people hard to have relationships with. And if your mentally ill family member is behaving the way you say she is, I think feeling annoyed and wanting her to cut the bullshit is a totally valid reaction to have, and probably a reaction that many other people would have in your place. However, if your desire to confront her about it does stem from a feeling of frustration towards her, rather than a belief that you can help her, then I think the mature thing to do is just keep it to yourself and limit the amount of time you spend with her.

Re: Ethical dilemma...

[(Anonymous)]

That's putting it very well, thank you. I was thinking similar thoughts about obviously having touched a nerve without meaning to, and I understand why. I can't deny that I AM frustrated by my relative's behavior, but part of that frustration is watching her struggle. She doesn't want to be bitter and alone, it's her greatest fear and it's coming true. She really, really wants a stable relationship with her kids and her family, but she's never going to have it unless she manages her own behavior, and I don't think that's possible without addressing the issue of whether or not she's got an undiagnosed condition.

I do have some insight to this. I suffer from depression, and my brother is bipolar. But both of us have done what my relative has not: we've either sought help, and/or learned to manage our behavior so as not to make our mental illness other peoples' problem. My relative knows this is an option, but so far she hasn't been able to or isn't willing to manage this on her own. I believe she needs help. I already limit my interactions with her for my own emotional and mental well being, but I think it's sad that limited contact is the best she can hope for in terms of family relationships.