fandomsecrets | [ SECRET POST #3797 ]

[ SECRET POST #3797 ]

⌈ Secret Post #3797 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

01.

__________________________________________________

02.

__________________________________________________

03.

__________________________________________________

04.

__________________________________________________

05.

__________________________________________________

06.

__________________________________________________

07.

Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 00 pages, 00 secrets from Secret Submission Post #544.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

04. https://i.imgur.com/w8tzFdj.png

Yeah, I know what you mean. There are some fandoms where there isn't much fic that I enjoy and that limits my participation unless I want to write it all myself. Then people act like you're entitled if you don't want to single-handedly create all the [fic you like], as if there's no such thing as maybe wanting to read fic others have written.

Why does seeing two men in romantic and sexual attraction to one another "leave you cold"? Is it a general thing or just this specific fandom where you just can't see the chemistry?

If the latter, that's a fair cop, not everybody sees the same thing between two people.

If the former, I'd... start asking myself why, in your shoes. Homophobia doesn't have to be overt to be present. As a bi person myself, I still internally wince at seeing two people of the same sex having pda anywhere and it's very obviously internalized homophobia from an era when just *being* not-straight could still cause serious problems, even if it no longer meant an automatic stay at a psych ward.

Not OP, but...

For me, unless a sex scene is turning me on, reading explicit sex makes me feel like I'm intruding on someone else's privacy. Which squicks me just like walking in on my friends having sex would squick me.

And since I don't find slash a turn on (femslash is HOT, het is meh, slash is meh), I'm squicked by reading slash. I'm quite happy to read men falling in love, kissing, etc, but most slash ends up with explicit sex, which is just NOT what I want to read.

Very few het couples do it for me, and a lot of them "leaves me cold" for various reasons. Maybe it's a perceived lack of chemistry, maybe it's poor quality writing, maybe I don't like the characters or the relationship dynamic, I don't know, there's bunches of reasons. When it comes to slash, well, gay sex doesn't do it for me so the odds of me getting into it are even less, given all the factors I find off putting.

Now, I'll still read and enjoy the rest of the story if it's not PWP, but again, it's not often I stumble across well written plotty fics that also contain well written sex scenes, in fandoms that interest me.

Why should someone not preferring slash mean they should start asking themselves "why"? Like, as a gay man myself I don't understand this sort of mindset at all.

Fanfic is about scratching an itch. Exploring things we didn't get to see in canon, whether that's concepts, pairings, whatever.

I read slash because it's something I don't get to see a lot of elsewhere, and because I love overlaying m/m romance onto canons that I like. I don't read much femslash, because even the women characters I love, I have no interest in reading about them fucking another lady. I love seeing f/f relationships in media and irl, but it's not something I would seek out for entertainment purposes. I also don't read much het, for the same reasons.

I wouldn't side-eye a lesbian fan for not wanting to read het fic. I don't see why a straight fan should have to analyze their personal shipping preferences.

+1. I'm gay, but I mostly like gen fic. And I'm glad that there's a ton more queer-friendly (or at least queer-neutral) gen fic these days, because back in the day it was sometimes a cover for some really virulent homophobia. I'm not really into ship fic of any kind, but I don't feel like I have to consider my politics on the matter!

+2

I do side-eye people if they only ship het and grandstand about it or insist that it's more progressive than slash, however. But just being only into het on it's own isn't an issue for me.

Agree completely.

Not OP either, but when I first got into fandom, I didn't *get* m/m slash. I mean, it didn't hold any appeal for me because I kind of self-project into fiction and if it was two guys, I didn't relate.

It wasn't homophobia. I read femslash (and het) but romances had to have a female character for me to enjoy them.

I do read and write a ton of slash now, but I had to fall in love with a canon slash pairing to see the possibilities. I do still actually prefer canon slash (and het) when I can get it in terms of enjoying fandom stuff more.

Yeah, when I was a wee baby fan, I couldn't help feeling like slash fandom was celebrating my absence, as a lady. Obviously it's way more nuanced and expansive (and not shitty) than that, but I generally found other places to go from then on.

Why does anyone have to "ask themselves" why they're not into it? If someone isn't turned on by it, they're not turned on by it. Like...I tried to like slash once. Really, I did. But it just wasn't doing anything for me. I eventually found that I'm fine with same-sex pairings being mushy and fluffy and romantic and stuff, but as soon as it gets into the explicit sex stuff...nope, not feeling anything. I'm often the same for het stuff too, so it's not some "internalised homophobia" or whatever. Forcing someone to like something isn't going to change their mind.

Oh, and by the way? Liking/disliking slash doesn't dictate one's acceptance level of real LGBTQ+ people. I've run across some pretty disgustingly homophobic people who are rabid slashers. They're okay with fetishising fictional gay people, but they're repulsed by the idea of real ones having any rights. I'm guessing more progressive-thinking slashers would rather be around someone who's pro-LGBTQ+ rights but not interested in slash than homophobic slashers.

DA

Liking slash is not the same as being turned on by slash. You can think two people are good for each other without wanting to imagine their sex life. I'm not surprised that some people would find it off-putting if someone confessed to feeling nothing but apathy or mild revulsion when they simply see two men in love.

Without more detail, it's impossible to judge OP, but there very much are people who dislike slash for homophobic reasons, but who have convinced themselves that their preference hasn't been influenced by homophobia. It's not at all uncommon for bigots to not consider themselves bigoted.

Turning it around and saying "yeah, well, some slashers are homophobic, checkmate!" seems a bit ridiculous to me, because homophobic slashers existing doesn't negate the existence of homophobic anti-slashers.

Maybe run a gen exchange and see what you get?

fwiw, I write slash in certain fandoms, but just don't see it at all in other fandoms.

I can relate. I read and write all sorts of het, but slash I can only write, or enjoy reading, as long as there is no explicit sex. I'm not squicked by it, it is just meh for me. I too is i a small fandom right now where the IT-couple are two men. And though I love their relation when it comes to the original, I have zero interest on the fanfic..

I am that but with het xD also indeed smallest fandoms of mine been that but ... I do not read romance in general so I do not mind unless the author of a different genre fic without pairings forces romance in.

Do not force yourself to read stuff you do not like as life is too short for that.

I don't have any particular ship-permutation preference, het, slash, femslash it's all good. But I know what it's like to not ship the main ship and it can feel a little lonely, but maybe put some feelers out to see if any other fans of the m/f ships or GEN are interested?

They may be there, they just might feel like they're similarly alone.

Media that has a main male/female duo, or a well-balanced co-ed ensemble where bith the male and female characters are interesting and developed tend to have a lot of het, although not exclusively. For example, The X-Files had plenty of slash, but a massive amount of Mulder/Scully.

That said, we don't get to choose whether we like a show or not, so saying "Just go find something with more women in it!" doesn't help if the available options just don't appeal or the fandoms are too small/dead.

No idea what kind of media tends to inspire gen fic. Typically, when I don't ship anyone, I don't go looking for fic.

You can still be really interested in non-sexual non-romantic relationships between characters who have good friendships or chemistry. Or into exploring their world. Or intrigued by the plot and wanting to do a spin off it. It's lack of imagination that keeps there from being more gen fic.
I enjoy shippy fic sometimes, but I think it's sad there's not more gen. Like, the shippy fics start to sound the same after awhile, and the porn even moreso. I'm tired of reading it when there's so much else that could be explored.

I don't think it's so much lack of imagination as lack of enthusiasm. People write fic for fun in their spare time for free, of course they're going to write whatever feels fun at the moment.

(no subject)

(Anonymous) - 2017-05-28 05:44 (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

(Anonymous) - 2017-05-28 07:48 (UTC) - Expand

So don't make it about liking or not liking slash. Make it about the pairing that you like, instead. There's a difference between saying "I don't ship m/m pairings, people should write more het" and saying "I ship Amara/Bobby, not Bobby/Chuck, does anyone who also ships them want to do a fic fest?"

I mean, yeah, it could hypothetically start a ship war, but I tend to think that most fans are pretty okay with ship-and-let-ship. (It's just that the 5-10% who engage in ship-to-ship combat get a lot of the attention due to their antics.)

OTOH, maybe people actually have been picking up "ew icky gays" vibes from you. We live in a culture that's saturated with negative messages about LGBT people, and sometimes it takes conscious work to deal with those.

I dunno, OP, as much as you're saying "I'm not homophobic!" this post comes across as rather homophobic, particularly the part where you said slash 'leaves you cold'. Maybe it's the wording and the fact that you are so annoyed at the amount of slash in you fandom to begin with.

If you want more gen or het, then write some, read the few that are there or move to another fandom with more het pairings and enjoy your fandom without feeling the need to read fanfic about it.

I mean, you can say you're not homophobic all you want. You might even believe it but there's a lot of really questionable wording here and I think it might do you some good to do a little self reflection on that. I'm a little amazed at how afraid people here are at that idea. If you look at it and don't think there's a problem, cool. But what's the harm in checking it out?

As for the fandom thing. Rare pairs suck, it's true. But here's the thing. Comment. Send asks to other shippers. Get involved and encourage those few that ARE doing what you like even if you're not writing fic yourself.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only