fandomsecrets | [ SECRET POST #3805 ]

[ SECRET POST #3805 ]

⌈ Secret Post #3805 ⌋

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I realise it's likely no one will see this, since it's stupid'o'clock in the morning where I am and I don't even know about anyone else, but I'm panicking like fuck and I need to vent somewhere. Sorry.

I have an interview the day after tomorrow and I'm panicking because the more I research the logistics of taking the job the more I'm terrified of getting it. I applied originally because it was an area I've always wanted to work in, I've been unemployed or on temporary work schemes for years, it was near to the deadline for application, and it looked like something I could do. I sent in an application form and got offered an interview only a few days later. It seemed great!

The problem is, the job is in another city, and since I got the interview offer I've been looking up the logistics of moving there and ... I'm honestly not sure it's feasible for me. I don't drive, which is a massive problem for me, but realistically I am not going to be able to learn in time for this job, and trying would only be a massive stress on top of everything else. It's not going to happen. So I can't commute and would have to physically relocate to the city. Which, judging by the housing prices I'm seeing so far, may be a very real problem for me. Since I can't drive, I'd have to move to an area of the city either relatively close to the job or close to a public transport connection. The problem is, I'm not sure the job is anywhere close to a public transport connection, and it's in a park area in a pretty damned expensive area of town. I also don't know enough about the city to properly research the transport options yet.

I know, I know, I honestly should have thought of all this before applying for the job at all. I just honestly thought it would be more doable than it's looking right now. I have an interview the day after tomorrow and I'm actively terrified that I'm going to be offered the job, because I'm not sure I can take it.

And, yes, not all of that is because of the logistics, it's also because this is a huge fucking change that I didn't really think through before I applied, partly because time pressure and partly because desperation to find a job. Moving to another city would mean leaving my family, who are in a complicated financial and health place at the minute which my leaving may or may not help. Which maybe shouldn't be a concern, but still ...

I can't tell if I'm freaking the fuck out right now because I'm terrified of change and hampering myself and it would all be fine once I got the job, or if I'm genuinely realising that I'm just not able to take this job for reasons both practical and emotional.

I'm also not sure, either way, what the fuck I'm supposed to DO about it. I've already potentially wasted a fuckton of their time applying for a job I didn't research enough to know if I'd be able to take. What do I tell them? I'm honestly and legitimately not sure if I will be able to accept this job, sorry to have wasted your time? Do I do that before or after the interview? Do I do that at all? I might not even get offered the job.

And, thing is, I have been unemployed for years, beyond two years on separate work schemes. There is a dearth of employment for people with my skillset where I'm living. I've been managing by living at home and basically feeding my social services income back into the family, as well as getting temporary work where I can. Family is also something of a concern, because my dad is on hiatus from work for health reasons and may not be able to go back, and my mother had to retire on medical grounds a few years ago and can't work. My income isn't much but it is definitely helping stabilise the family budgets. I really need work, but I'm also very afraid that if I move such a distance to get it that both myself and my family will be in much rockier circumstances. But I need a permanent job, or at the very least a longer term one than I've gotten so far. And there genuinely just isn't many of those to be had in my home town. We have one of the highest unemployment rates in the country.

I should have thought of all this before it came to interview. I know that. And it's entirely possible I'm just panicking and none of it is as huge of an issue as it feels right now, at 4.30 in the fucking morning. Just.

I'm going to this interview, and the thought that I might fail it is actually a huge, huge fucking relief right now. Which I think is probably a bad sign.

I'm also afraid that if it isn't feasible and I do have to turn down the job after being offered a position that my social services payment will be affected, and that I'm going to be losing money and stability either way.

I can't help feeling like I just shouldn't have applied for this job in the first place. But I did, and in just over 30 hours I have an interview for it, and I have no fucking idea what to do about that.

Fuck. Fuck. I need to go cry for an hour. I somewhat doubt I'll be able to sleep.

Okay. First of all: you're definitely panicking a bit. It's okay and it's very natural because there is the prospect of big changes coming up, which anyone would worry about, even if they didn't have as many background worries as you do on their mind.

With regards to the job, these are all things that you can think about and look at. All of the questions you're raising are questions that have specific answers you can find out. These are problems that are easy to solve, once you disentangle them from the welter of emotions that they accompany. You don't have to figure it out all right now, but you can look through the transport options and figure out what the dynamics of transport look like, and whether there might be ride-sharing commuter programs, or public transit, or what have you. And if that doesn't work, you can figure out what the best next step is. And you definitely don't need to tell them in the interview, although I don't think it's something that they'll necessarily be awkward about. Like, one of the purposes of an interview is for you to find out more about the company, isn't it? Totally natural not to know everything and to have questions you need answered.

But really, I think the most important thing you can do is to relax and to knock out the interview. You're in a place that comes along with a ton of anxiety and that's totally normal and the best thing to do that I've found is to just relax as much as you can and do as well on the problems that are placed in front of you as you can. And I'm sure you can go in there and knock the hell out of the interview, whether you're nervous or not.

OP. That ... actually does help a bit. Thanks.

I can't address everything, but I am like... 99% sure people turn down job offers constantly. Coooonstantly. People interview multiple places at once or just for practice so if it turns out you can't take the job? No biggie! It's 100% normal and no one's going to be surprised or shocked or anything. The interview is supposed to be as much for you to decide IF you'd accept a job offer as it is for them to decide if they want to offer you the job.

I, yes. That is a point. Thank you. Sorry. I don't have a lot of experience with being offered jobs.

They definitely do. When I got my current job, I had to contact another company I'd interviewed for and tell them I wasn't available anymore, and years earlier I turned down a job offer because I didn't realize how remote the location was until after I applied. They may not give you a final answer at the interview, so use the next day and your day in that city when you go for the interview to figure out what you're in for. Explore the neighborhood, really look at transit and the option of biking, see what rent is like close by, and so on.

You know, interviews are not just for potential employers to see if you are right for the job, they are also for you to see if the job is right for you. Ask about relocation expenses, ask about transportation in the area and commuting, ask about telecommuting and schedules (if you can do longer but fewer days, you can use your days off to see your family), ask about work-life balance (some companies have programs or counseling for helping care for parents). There may be logistics involved, but a lot of them can be worked out. Take a few deep breaths, remind yourself that it's just a potential job right now and not an actual offer and it's only when you get an offer that you have to make any decisions. Write down a list of questions you want to ask. And give yourself a break, nothing needs to be decided right now.

That ... is a good idea. That helps. Sorry. Thank you.

You've been given some good advice here, anon, so I just want to send you some hugs and good vibes. I haven't been in your exact situation, but I have woken up at stupid o'clock in a total panic over whether or not I've made the right decision over some life choice and that feeling fucking sucks. I just want you to know you've got someone in your corner who's wishing the best for you.

Thank you very much. I'm sorry I didn't respond sooner, I managed to make it back to bed and get a few hours of sleep. I appreciate this, though. Thank you.

Is this the kind of interview where they're likely to offer you a job at the end of it? Or is it the kind where you give up waiting to hear back only to get a call three months later offering a position? I've only had the second sort, and spent the intervening time researching practicalities. Either way, it can't hurt to interview, even if you later have to turn the job down. Would either of your parents be able and/or willing to drive you, at least temporarily, to work, especially if it meant bringing more money in? Good luck with the interview, anyway.

Same anon--also, I once turned down a promotion because it would've involved working at multiple locations around the city I live in on an hour's notice, and I can't drive. A few years later, I was up for the same job, but with benefits, and when they asked where I'd like to work, my answer was "any location I can get to on public transit," and I got the job. It doesn't sound like there's a choice of locations on offer for the job you're going for, but if there is, find out which ones are an easier commute for you.

It's more likely the latter, although the company has been very prompt with correspondence so far, so it likely wouldn't be three months. You're right, I have some to look at things yet. Thank you. For the advice and the luck :)

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