fandomsecrets | [ SECRET POST #3812 ]

[ SECRET POST #3812 ]

⌈ Secret Post #3812 ⌋

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Notes:

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Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

So expecting her to apologize for accidentally upsetting me and maybe admitting she could have told me why she was unfollowing when she did it, is wanting her to "treat my overreaction like a serious crisis." Okay then.

Dude. You freaked out on her because she unfollowed you on Twitter. This is not a normal or healthy reaction to being unfollowed on ANY social media platform. A well adjusted person is not going to realize that unfollowing someone on Twitter is a major traumatic incident (because it isn't!), so they're not going to realize that they need to rush to your side offering apologies and logical explanations for why they unfollowed you on Twitter.

Now, she could've apologized when she found out that you'd taken her completely innocuous action and interpreted that as the horrendous insult you clearly believe(d?) it to be, but I'm guessing she was taken aback by your insistence that being unfollowed you on Twitter is a major offense and that she needed to feel as guilty about committing such an awful, awful friend crime. Perhaps she even thought (mistakenly as it turns out) that telling you it wasn't the deliberate slight you assumed it was would soothe your irrational fears, because that's what a reasonable, well adjusted person would probably do when they realize that 1) their fears were irrational and 2) they waaaay overreacted and should probably dial it back a few notches.

But this is indeed both sad and stupid, so it 100% on topic for this thread, so congrats?

P.S. It belatedly occurred to me that you might be a very young teenager or younger, in which case I apologize for the harsh language. But seriously, your life will be a lot better and your friendships a lot more solid if you don't go off on people for such trivial reasons. It'll also be a lot better if you don't put social media at such a high priority in your life that merely being unfollowed wreaks such havoc on your personal life.

I mean there's also something to be said for a simple "I can see your upset, so I'm sorry" and explaining nicely why the unfollowing wasn't a big deal bc OP clearly didn't know

When people are blindsided by random outbursts of drama, it's often hard to tap into the empathy reservoir right away, the initial WTF is so strong.

THIS^.

True, but there's nothing stopping either person from going "sorry" or at least "um, what was that?" some time later.

That's fair. I guess I'll reserve judgment bc we don't know whether it was really "drama". (A simple "hey, why'd you unfollow me? Did I do something wrong? I'm a bit hurt" is hardly "drama".)

nayrt

It's a bit of drama, IMO. I guess it just seems so fourth grade. "Are you maaaaaaaaad at me??" accompanied by sad puppy eyes. It really puts me off when adults act like that.

Wait, so as an adult, we're automatically supposed to stop caring if someone stops talking to you? (and if it's a fandom or online only friend, unfollowing your social media with no explanation is basically the equivalent of ignoring your texts/calls).

I mean, I have no idea what level OP started in at, but a simple, "Hey, you unfollowed me, did I say something to offend you?" doesn't feel like fourth grade or out of line. What if I did offend them? Maybe I said something that was rude and didn't realize it and this is my chance to learn from it.

meh, that interpretation sounds like a lot of projecting (or at least jumping to conclusions) to me.

AYRT

I was referring to the second reaction, where OP, by their own admission, got mad at friend for not taking their worry over the unfollowing seriously. Pretty sure this is the moment things went south for them.

oh, ok. yeah you might be right there.

Exactly. I'm not cold hearted, but if a friend blew up at me or came over all weirdly needy and accusatory over a Twitter unfollowing, I'd be confused as hell (because seriously?), then annoyed. Just because someone's exaggerated a minor thing into a big emergency in their own mind doesn't mean I have to treat it like one. I might be startled into giving an apology, but frankly I'd resent it later because I'd feel like I was pressured into apologizing when I didn't do anything wrong, yet I'm being treated like I did. And then I'd probably do a slow fade because if someone feels entitled to start such drama over a Twitter unfollowing, they're probably going to be more trouble than they're worth.

DA

The situation as you're describing it really did not merit her apologizing to you. If anything, you maybe could have apologized to her for overreacting, though it sounds like that probably wasn't strictly necessary. We really shouldn't expect our friends to apologize to us when they didn't do anything wrong, just because we feel a particular way. That's messed up.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

[ SECRET POST #3812 ]

Re: Sad or stupid reasons you've parted ways with friends

Re: Sad or stupid reasons you've parted ways with friends

Re: Sad or stupid reasons you've parted ways with friends

Re: Sad or stupid reasons you've parted ways with friends

Re: Sad or stupid reasons you've parted ways with friends

Re: Sad or stupid reasons you've parted ways with friends

Re: Sad or stupid reasons you've parted ways with friends

Re: Sad or stupid reasons you've parted ways with friends

Re: Sad or stupid reasons you've parted ways with friends

Re: Sad or stupid reasons you've parted ways with friends

Re: Sad or stupid reasons you've parted ways with friends

Re: Sad or stupid reasons you've parted ways with friends

Re: Sad or stupid reasons you've parted ways with friends

Re: Sad or stupid reasons you've parted ways with friends