fandomsecrets | [ SECRET POST #3834 ]

[ SECRET POST #3834 ]

⌈ Secret Post #3834 ⌋

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Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

Florida now allows anyone to challenge anything being taught in schools. If you live in Florida and hear that a school is teaching something you disagree with (like evolution, or the Civil War ended with Lee's comprehensive defeat) you now have the right to demand the school stop teaching it.

Florida has now hit Peak Florida.

I know what the Satanists and Pastafarians will be at for a while.

Peak Florida. Hah. I have to keep reminding myself that no matter how bad Texas is, Florida (and Louisiana in some ways) is worse. Things aren't as bad as they could get here. Just look at Florida.

Florida is just doing its bit to win liberal environmentalists over to the joys of rolling coal. The more people who roll coal, the sooner sea level rise wipes out Florida. I'm in my VW right now, revving the engine for all its worth.

Please don't. We'll lose the Everglades, but the crazies will send their grandchildren to bother yours.

While Florida is in a higher percentile of crazy than much of the country, I heard recently that the reason "Florida Man" type stories come out with the frequency they do is because they have looser laws regarding what information from police reports can be released to the media. Like California Man or Texas Man or Wyoming Man could very well be assaulting their mothers in a dispute about a cheeseburger but we don't hear the cheeseburger part, just the assaulting his mother part.

Edited 2017-07-04 08:22 (UTC)

I work with a person who feels people should be able to do this at schools, but her reasoning is "because it's too complicated for the kids". The conversation came up because her kid hadn't grasped the concept of photosynthesis the first day it was taught. I legit have no idea when stupidity became cool again.

Did she consider her kid was just fucking stupid? Okay, that might be unfair. You don't have to learn everything perfect on the first day, so maybe her kid won't take after her and thus not be fucking stupid at all.

I don't live in Florida but my neighbors' kids are that stupid.

On the one hand, I really shouldn't be surprised by this, given the current political climate and whatnot...

...but on the other hand, oh, my fucking lord, are they serious?

Florida: It ain't the heat, it's the stupidity.

"Peak Florida".

Please, don't make Florida "hold my beer" itself.

Isn't "Hold ma beer an' watch this!" Florida's state motto?

Ah, yes, but in this case Florida would be going, "Hold my beer!", and just moving the beer from its right hand to its left.

Well. That made me laugh like a drain.

As a Floridian, I have to say...

I hate my fucking state. I really, really do. Everyone here is batshit insane, myself included, and it's no wonder. Nearly all the wildlife wants to kill you and the air is made of hot soup 3/4ths of the year. My county and its neighbor are particularly full of scary fundie churches, meth addicts, so very many armed rednecks and a whole lot of overlap between the three groups. Our beaches are great in late spring/early summer when the weather's nice, but it storms for over half the summer and starting mid-July every year the algae and seaweed population explodes all over the shoreline and brings an invasion of jellyfish along with it, making swimming in the Gulf a risky business indeed. We have roaches as big as my hand out in the woods, there are smelly fucking swamps everywhere, the water moccasins are super aggressive and will go out of their way to attack you at the drop of a hat, and the mosquitoes. The god-fucking-damned mosquitoes that laugh at your repellent and citronella candles. Add all those factors together and you've got a recipe for disaster. News stories like this don't faze me anymore because at this point I kind of understand the temptation to retreat into your own insanity and try to make the world bend to your delusions rather than facing reality.

This description of your state was amazing and yet terrifying at the same time. You've made me all the more glad I don't live there :p.

My county and its neighbor are particularly full of scary fundie churches, meth addicts, so very many armed rednecks and a whole lot of overlap between the three groups.

...oh, good lord. Talk about your nightmarish combinations.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

[ SECRET POST #3834 ]

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