[ SECRET POST #3857 ]

[case]

⌈ Secret Post #3857 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

01.



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02.
[Killing Stalking]


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03.
[Death Note]


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04.
[Daredevil, Dune]


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05.
[Longmire]


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06.
[Dulé Hill]


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07.
[Warehouse]














Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 01 pages, 14 secrets from Secret Submission Post #551.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Comments

Re: Advice / Questions Thread

[(Anonymous)]

I kind of see what you mean, but it seems like that still leads to a conflict on some level?

Re: Advice / Questions Thread

[(Anonymous)]

No... You can be super proud of yourself without being a braggart. It is incredibly easy.

Re: Advice / Questions Thread

[(Anonymous)]

So I guess when I think about humility, it means something more than just "not bragging all the time". More like... being aware of your own limitations and the specifics of your experience, and trying to act and deal with the world in a way that comports with that awareness? So the conflict between them, as I see it, is that self-esteem is about having some kind of faith and pride in your own qualities, whereas humility seems to require a skeptical, realistic appraisal of your own qualities and a constant awareness of limitation.

Re: Advice / Questions Thread

[(Anonymous)]

DA

The way you described it now, it seems even less like a conflict.

Re: Advice / Questions Thread

[(Anonymous)]

Well, clearly there's something I'm missing then! But it seems to me like a really deeply-rooted conflict, on multiple levels. First, you have a conflict between a positive and a negative self-appraisal of your qualities. But second, and more importantly, there's a conflict in how you generate that self-appraisal. Do you just have faith that those qualities are good, or do you critically examine qualities and behaviors to try and determine where they're not good? Ideally you'd do both, but it seems to me that at a certain point that just isn't possible.

Re: Advice / Questions Thread

[(Anonymous)]

NAYRT

Self-esteem is not an unconditionally positive appraisal. It's your sense of self-worth from being aware of your merits but also your flaws. When you measure something's value, you don't only take into account its good traits. If your self-esteem is based only on positives, you're doing self-esteem wrong.

Confidence is knowing what you can do, but that is also based on knowing what you can't do. Everyone is confident at what you they can do... up to a point. Overconfidence and arrogance is thinking you can do more than you're capable of, and not knowing your limits.

Self-esteem is being self-aware. Humility is being other-aware. Both are being aware that you're not the best thing ever.

Re: Advice / Questions Thread

[(Anonymous)]

I don't see the conflict? Self-esteem isn't about having false pride in your qualities. You can be realistic about yourself and aware of your limitations and still have good self-esteem. For example, I know very well that I'm no Julia Child, but I'm a pretty decent cook. I can follow recipes well, and I can also improvise with basic ingredients and come up with something good.

Re: Advice / Questions Thread

[(Anonymous)]

It really shouldn't. Self esteem doesn't lead a person to behaving like an ass. If it does, it's gone too far.

Re: Advice / Questions Thread

[(Anonymous)]

I think my point of view would be that all human beings are naturally prone to behaving like asses. I think that's basically true. And self-esteem doesn't cause one to behave like an ass, but it seems to me that it can make it easier to end up in a position where you act like an ass.

Re: Advice / Questions Thread

[(Anonymous)]

Self-esteem is healthy. Confidence in your own abilities, the ones you actually possess, is healthy.

Overweening confidence and a bloated sense of self worth and ability is unhealthy.

Those are different things.

Re: Advice / Questions Thread

[(Anonymous)]

I don't think all human beings are naturally prone to behaving like asses,though. Maybe in the sense that children must be taught empathy, but you make it sound like acting like an ass is inevitable. It isn't. It's also not that hard to figure out the difference between sekf confidence and being a jerk.