fandomsecrets | [ SECRET POST #3906 ]

[ SECRET POST #3906 ]

⌈ Secret Post #3906 ⌋

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What kind of comments , in your opinion make a statement go from a harmless statement of personal taste to comment that sounds douchey and makes the speaker sound like a jackass?

I was having a debate with some classmates about this today.

When judgment starts to enter the conversation over something relatively harmless.

When self-praise/smugness/speaker's feelings become more important than doing the right thing.

Comments on people's weight, how they've really let themselves go, if they were more in proportion what a shame, they have such a pretty face, etc. If you object to that sort of thing, and they try to shut you down by claiming health concerns (yeah right) or personal preference. Same with shaving for women, liking only tall men, etc. Basically where someone holds a very ordinary prejudice about other people's bodies, shares it as if everyone of course agrees, then is offered and shuts down with personal preference / hea

Oops, accidentally hit post! That is to say, if offended and shuts down any conversation about how no, not everyone holds that view, and how it's a very basic view only because society tries so hard to enforce what's "normal" or anything where you're not accepting such blanket judgments that "everyone" agrees with. And they try to shut it down with personal preference, biology (this one is a big crock a lot of times, but whatevs), and health "issues."

Aka tall men are "obviously" biologically superior, fat women are "obviously" less healthy, or any other such douchey defense of status quo prejudices.

basically making negative comments about people who do enjoy what you don't. Or claiming your preference as universal and using it to discourage someone. "AU's are not really what I read fanfiction for" is perfectly fine but "Fanfiction isn't FOR AU's" is making a statement about the right way to write fanfiction and sorta being a dick.

Also eugenicist statements especially when applied to harmless things like musical prefrence almost always make me think ill of the person saying them. If your mind frequently jumps to asserting who should be "sterilized for the good of humanity"/"not allowed to have children" then I can't help but think you have some disturbing views on that. and if you jump to talking about that when discussing burger topping prefrences.... even as a joke, wtf dude?

Harmless: "I love/hate ______!"

Becomes douchey when they add something like "obviously" or "but who doesn't?" Even if it's hyperbole and they don't really believe everyone shares their opinion, it suggests that they think everyone should, and judge people who don't. And it's one of those things that they can claim is a joke if you tell them that, but I'm not fooled.

People who enjoy shitting on something someone else enjoys.

Pretty much what everyone else is saying: when it becomes a judgment, or they assume that everyone else agrees with them.

"I dislike [X]" = perfectly fine

"Anyone that likes [X] is an idiot/weirdo/has something wrong with them/etc." = douchey

Basically, if you're judging people on things like musical taste, or likes/dislikes, or appearance, or clothing style, or pretty much anything that doesn't affect anyone else, and has nothing to do with what kind of person they are, you're at least a little douchey.

Any time an opinion (a subjective judgement) is stated as fact.

(And for that matter, anyone who claims a fact is 'an opinion')

I'll go with stating something as a fact.

"I think music festivals are dumb and boring." - Not Too Douchey
"Music festivals are dumb and boring." - Douchey

It's also a lot easier to sound douchey when being negative.

"I think music festivals are a waste of money." Kinda rude
"I think music festivals are fantastic and affordable." Not rude.

Context is important too. I think aggressively replying to a statement with an opposite one is douchey.

"I love music festivals." "I think music festivals are stupid and boring." vs. "Eeh, they're not really my thing."

"I hate music festivals." "Music festivals are the best entertainment ever invented, you jackass."

"I think music festivals are a waste of money." Kinda rude
"I think music festivals are fantastic and affordable." Not rude.

That's not the same meaning at all though. Better:"I wouldn't pay this kind of money for a music festival because it's not my thing." You can be less rude without outright lying and if you hate music festivals, saying they're "fantastic" is an unnecessary false statement to make, as is "affordable" when it's not, in your opinion.

Trying to say that absent of everything else, making an unprompted negative statement is more likely to be seen as rude than making an unprompted positive statement.

I was assuming this was meant to be in a conversation about music festivals, considering this would be such a random standalone statement out of the blue.

I was picturing like just walking past a sign for a music festival and announcing to the people you're with your opinion on music festivals.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

[ SECRET POST #3906 ]

What kind of statements make something go from harmless to "douchey"

Re: What kind of statements make something go from harmless to "douchey"

Re: What kind of statements make something go from harmless to "douchey"

Re: What kind of statements make something go from harmless to "douchey"

Re: What kind of statements make something go from harmless to "douchey"

Re: What kind of statements make something go from harmless to "douchey"

Re: What kind of statements make something go from harmless to "douchey"

Re: What kind of statements make something go from harmless to "douchey"

Re: What kind of statements make something go from harmless to "douchey"

Re: What kind of statements make something go from harmless to "douchey"

Re: What kind of statements make something go from harmless to "douchey"

Re: What kind of statements make something go from harmless to "douchey"

Re: What kind of statements make something go from harmless to "douchey"

Re: What kind of statements make something go from harmless to "douchey"