[ SECRET POST #3945 ]

[case]

⌈ Secret Post #3945 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

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Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 02 pages, 47 secrets from Secret Submission Post #565.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Comments

[(Anonymous)]

I think it's a little more complicated than that.

Do people who are obsessed with slash like this exist? Sure, I've seen them. They usually creepily pedestal gay men too and have unrealistic expectations of them. Pretty sure everyone in a slash fandom has seen one of these people. To be fair, they are often confused teenagers.

On the other hand, depending on what you mean by "biologically female," that's potentially a lot of trans men you'd be sweeping under this category because they happen to like slash.

[(Anonymous)]

The ones I've met who do this all have this incredibly intense obsession with slash and yaoi, dont actually make any attempt at transitioning or even remotely passing save for a pronoun change and cutting their hair a little shorter (at the very most) and date exclusively other "gay trans men" who fit into the same patterns as they themselves. So yeah, I'll stay sceptical that it's actually a matter of transgenderism and not one of slash obsession gone too far.

[(Anonymous)]

Do you not worry at all about invalidating peoples' identities?

[(Anonymous)]

No. Because just me being sceptical about this doesn't invalidate them in any way. Invalidating would be going up to them and telling them they're not really trans. Which I don't do.

[(Anonymous)]

Um, do you know how difficult and expensive it can be to access medical transition? Do you know how hard it can be for people to "pass"? (Binding isn't a miracle, for example, and it can also be really fucking painful.) Are you aware of factors like family relationships and jobs that might constrain people from making a big drastic visible transition? Do you know how hard it can be for trans people find romantic partners, or have any clue why it might be a lot easier and SAFER for many of us to date other trans people?

No, I didn't think so.

[(Anonymous)]

And are you aware that not every person is a flawless little angel of transness and that yes, there are absolutely plenty of people faking it for attention online? Don't be so naive. The people these things apply to almost all stop their act after a while anyway.

[(Anonymous)]

It's possible you're right about the ones you've met. I'm not going to deny that this sometimes happens.

However, I think there's a difference between "they don't attempt" and "they don't want to attempt." Lots of circumstances might mean they can't attempt even if they wanted to. I just wouldn't automatically dismiss someone experiencing a lot of body dysphoria who has stated they would transition if they could, as merely slash obsessed.

[(Anonymous)]

I only talk about the people I've met. They don't want to attempt. They are generally non-dysphoric (firmly on the "tucute" side of things).

If someone actually experiences dysphoria, that's different. I know actual trans people. Some even like slash. It's not the same with them.

[(Anonymous)]

Then honestly, seeing as who I assume is you said upthread that you don't bring this up to them, I have no objections to your skepticism.

I think the other people in the thread are taking it to mean that you apply this skepticism to every individual who likes slash who claims they are trans.

[(Anonymous)]

Yeah, it's kind of difficult with all the anons. I generally have quite a bit of scepticism about any claims of identity when it comes to people I only encounter online, but that's a matter of online identities in general. But at the same time, I don't know those people and won't interact with them long enough to really care about the validity of their assorted identities, so it's kind of irrelevant anyway.

[(Anonymous)]

you can only talk about people you've met who chose to come out to you/out in general

which creates a pretty severe sampling bias

1) actual transdudes, especially pre-transition, on the internet are very likely to either just introduce themselves as dudes and never post pics, and enjoy the one space in which they can be treated as the gender they say they are OR not come out to anyone because it's fuckin scary, esp when their gender identity is so important to them but has so little 'defense' - until after they've been able to transition

2) if you've given any hint of this attitude (and you probably have even if you aren't trying to be a confrontational asshole about it, and trans folks are pretty sensitive when it comes to picking up undercurrents of disbelief/contempt) then any trans dudes in fandom you might know will be particularly disinclined not to confine in you personally

3) meanwhile of course the people who have latched onto a buzzword for attention/to try and ward off 'APPROPRIATION!!!!' harassment will make sure EVERYONE KNOWS

all of which creates a self-reinforcing cycle re: the people "you've met"

and tbh the kids experimenting with gender who turn out to be cis? because they're deprived of attention at home or because they've been raised with so much misogyny that it feels unsafe or uncomfortable for them to explore their sexuality as women, or for ANY OTHER REASON - and they'll have some reason - also deserve compassion

[(Anonymous)]

That's nice. Still doesn't make the people I mean less of the transtrending chicks that they are.

[(Anonymous)]

Thanks you for standing up against the biggest problem for all transgender people everywhere: young girls who cut their hair short, change pronouns, and think gay boys are cute. Getting kicked out from home, forced into converion therapy, or beaten up to death for using the bathroom cannot compare to this pressing issue.

[(Anonymous)]

Bit of a tryhard, aren't you?

[digitalghosts]

I'm sure liking dudes is very gay. My long hair says hi. I am married. To a dude. I'm femme as fuck. It might be shocking people want to see media about themselves or like porn about themselves. Truly appalling gay dudes come in all forms - I know anon, this is hard for you but I am sure you will understand with time.

[(Anonymous)]

They apparently also come in the form of cis ladies. Good to know.

[digitalghosts]

Not sure where I mentioned cis ladies? Also usually cis ladies do not 'identify as gay' (besides hypothetical situation of that happening due to fluid gender identity or a lesbian saying she is gay as she applies that term to women as well) but tend to be people who are looking for better terms.