fandomsecrets | [ SECRET POST #3948 ]

⌈ Secret Post #3948 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

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[Spyro: Ripto's Rage! & Spyro: Year of the Dragon]

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03.

[The Shape of Water]

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[The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air]

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[Brooklyn 99]

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[Community]

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[The Exorcist on Fox]

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[silent/early sound film]

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(Panda and Rintaro, Polar Bear Cafe)

Notes:

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Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

Okay OP, I'm going to agree that you sound very young so I'm going to try and be diplomatic here. I totally get how frustrating it is when family pushes you to do stuff you don't want to do. However. I think it's a little... naive... to criticize family for "seeing dollar signs" because yes, one of the primary goals of employment is to earn money. In another comment, you say "we are financially sound". That's "we" as in, your family? Let's be straight here: you mean your mom and dad are financially sound, but you specifically have no income, right? So you are not financially sound. You're living off your parents, which might feel very cushy now but it cannot last forever. You should not count on it lasting forever, and you need to prepare for the day when that necessarily comes to an end, because this is part of growing up and adulthood.

Social anxiety can and should be managed. It should not be an excuse for why you can't talk to people in a professional setting and therefore need to avoid any career that involves talking to people, because most jobs require that. If you feel that it is so severe you truly cannot work, then it's time to talk to your doctor, find a good therapist, etc. and address the issue directly.

Long periods of boredom are par for the course in many jobs. It is NOT a waste of your time because you're getting paid, presumably. Very few jobs are one thrill after another, or 8-10 hours of incredibly soul-satisfying work. That's just how it is. Ditto "dressing up". That's not an unusual requirement of the professional world, it's standard and you should definitely get used to it - or at least, not use it as an excuse for why you can't get a job.

Be honest with yourself: how much time are you spending on your creative projects right now? Do they really require 8-10 hours a day to the point where you can't spare time to find a job? Do they earn you any money? OP, many people enjoy creative projects when they have the time and many people would love to be able to do nothing else but creative projects. Unfortunately, you generally can't pay your rent and buy food and clothing with creative projects, which is why you need to prioritize employment and not use "but my creative projects!" as an excuse for why you can't work. You worry about being too burned out to be creative. That's a valid concern. But keep in mind that figuring out your work/life balance is also part of growing up and adulthood and cannot (and should not!) be avoided by remaining unemployed.

"At the moment I am unemployed, but if I'll be frank, I'm comfortable with it."

And here's where I'll be blunt: You're far too comfortable with it. You're making a lot of weak excuses for why you need to stay in the safe and comfortable rut you're living in. Unfortunately, this is really going to hurt you in the long run because you're basically preventing yourself from gaining independence from your parents.

Reading between the lines, I'd say your family isn't being unreasonable. They're trying to motivate you to do what you ought to be doing for yourself. They do this because they know that you need a job that pays enough for you to live on. They know that the longer you go post-graduation without landing a job (even a not-that-great job) the worse it will look on your resume. If you want to get them off your back AND avoid this job, you need to show them you're actively working on job hunting and will find a job that is to your taste, on your own. Then you need to DO IT. No more excuses, no more debates about how come you need to stay home and avoid the world. Please do this for yourself.

Good luck, OP.

You need a standing ovation for this post.

Good luck from me too OP. I felt like you at one time. It's difficult, awkward and may push you out of a comfort zone, but it is likely to be good in the long run.

Agree with everything here but wanted to emphasize the last bit. I've been training to be an interviewer/hiring decision maker at my job. One of the big things they note as a "flag" to look at on someone's resume? Long periods of unemployment with no explanation.

And I can tell you that "I didn't get a job because I felt comfortable letting my family take care of me so I could knit" would put your resume immediately at the bottom of the pile. On the floor.

And some other stuff I thought of after I posted...

You say you have a CS degree? What do you plan on doing with it? Like others have mentioned...many computer-y jobs allow telework.

I myself have a computer-y job (though not the telework, alas). Back on the subject of things interviewers look for? Someone who's motivated and willing to get a jump on things/show initiative in projects. You know what doesn't match that? Someone who is content to stay unemployed because it's easy.

If you could at least show you've been doing work on your own (open source project? volunteering to help secure the network of your local school? bug bounty competitions?) that would be something though. But again, that still assumes you're applying for jobs somewhere.

CS isn't like back in the day when just having a degree would net you a job. Nor does having a job in that field mean you can sit in a cubicle and code all day (or whatever) and not have to talk to people. (since you mention the job your family wants you to interview for requires...talking to people and you don't want to do that). I talk to people all day on my team. We collaborate. I talk with other people on other teams. I talk with people in other parts of the company. I could.not.get.my.job.done if I didn't talk to people. A lot. And I get it...I'm an introvert too. It can be incredibly draining. But when I have a successful project because I was able to get it done with others' help? Super rewarding. I just make sure that my downtime at home is mine if I need to recharge by being alone/playing video games/reading/whatever.

And to be frank...I would hate to rely on my family's finances for myself. What if something happened to them and suddenly they weren't so well off anymore? What if they just decide they're tired of you staying at home and not getting a job (despite helping out around the house or whatever) and essentially push you out and then you're stuck finding a job on your own and having to find a place to live while you do it?

Nothing says you have to stay in this job forever. But getting in any job so you can become self-sufficient and turn that into finding something you want to do more (and now have a better chance of getting since you can show job history...) is way better than staying at home and waiting for the right opportunity to drop in your lap.

I know this is "the next day" from when you posted so you may have already interviewed (or come up with an excuse not to go) but either way. You should take the hint your family is giving you here and not continue making excuses for why you can't/shouldn't work.

[ SECRET POST #3948 ]

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same anon