fandomsecrets | [ SECRET POST #3961 ]

[ SECRET POST #3961 ]

⌈ Secret Post #3961 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

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(fandom: My Brother, My Brother and Me)

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[Neil Gaiman's "Good Omens"]

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(Minami, YoI)

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Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 02 pages, 28 secrets from Secret Submission Post #567.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

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04. https://i.imgur.com/4W8hvh4.png

Cut for length

In my LJ days, I would sometimes leave comments or join a discussion on someone’s personal journal and the typical reaction, while polite, was a little weird, like they were kind of spooked that a complete stranger had wandered into their space and joined in. Occasionally, people whose journals I visited made everything friends-only not long after, and while I don’t think it was because of me, specifically, I had to wonder if maybe I was part of the wake-up call that what they were posting was public and viewable to everyone and anyone could wander in. Comms were fine, but following someone to their personal journal, even when invited to do so via a link they posted elsewhere, started to feel like I was being that random stranger inserting themselves into a conversation between a group of friends and everyone really didn’t want that and is just awkwardly trying to be polite but giving me a chilly reception in the hopes I’ll go away. All these people had to have met online somehow, but it felt like if you didn’t get into someone’s circle of LJ friends early, you were a scary stranger and would be frozen out.

Similarly, when I look at the comments on fic, it often seems like the author and a number of the commenters already know each other, and as much as I hear people complain about wanting more comments on their fic, it still feels like I’d be intruding.

This is why I’ve never bothered to get an AO3 account to comment on fic or learn how ff.net commenting works, and one of the reasons I’ve never joined tumblr.

The only place in online fandom I’ve ever felt welcomed and able to integrate myself into a pre-existing community was on message boards. There is something to be said for community space instead of personal space.

TL;DR: online fandom social media is weirdly anti-social and that's the reason I'm not commenting on or reblogging your stuff.

Speaking as a writer, I love it when there is feedback, whether I know the person or not.

OP, I can only speak for myself, but I absolutely love it when someone asks a question in a review comment and I can start a dialog with them (I write for a lot of really small fandoms, and love coming across someone who enjoys the source canon as much as I do).

Same.

Yes, I have regular commenters, but they only got that way because they dropped in their first comment some time. And I love meeting someone new.

I never had a problem with people dropping in on my LiveJournal because if I made something public I figured people could/should drop by. (They usually didn't though.) I don't really get it, if I didn't want just anybody commenting on something why would I put it up on the internet? But some people are different. And I have seen comment sections even on AO3 where it seemed like everyone was all buddies and I did feel strange commenting.

I once saw someone on LiveJournal pitch a fit because someone linked their girlfriend's fic, which was not friendslocked, without asking first. It would never have occurred to me that someone would put up a fic but not want anyone to link to it. It does now, because of that, but at the time I was weirded out.

But I think virtually all authors who put stuff up on archives do want comments from anyone who enjoyed their fic.

Edited 2017-11-08 00:18 (UTC)

I know what you mean. Back in the day, I had a moderately busy flist and journal and random people would often comment because they found it via my fanfiction. I never had a problem with that because it was meant to be public. But ut was easier if people introduced themselves briefly as opposed to just jumping into the conversation. Just a short "Hi, I'm here through your FFnet profile" or "I'm saw your post on [random community]" was plenty. I know it's easy to feel like an outsider, but I met most of my fandom friends that way. They were all strangers to me at one point - but they were confident enough to introduce themselves.

I think people do tend to respond to those that they "know" more readily sometimes, but if you comment/interact you become one of the people that they know.

I love comments/questions, particularly on AO3.

I think maybe there's a lot of social anxiety baggage you're carrying that's coloring your perspective of how this works. Especially when it comes to reviews. Seeing rapport between other people doesn't necessarily mean you're excluded. It's probably not about you at all, but somehow your anxiety is reading waaaay too much ominous meaning into pretty innocuous things.

Hm that's weird, I always thought non-flocked entries were there to be commented on by anyone? The more personal ones should be f-locked, but if I left LJ posts unlocked I'm all for talking to new people because that's a reason why it was unlocked. (From my experience, the whole 'introduce yourself!' thing was mostly for people who wanted others to friend them back? So if I didn't want a mutual friending I just left my comment and went on my way.)

I feel like tumblr is a bit more welcoming wrt 'personal spaces' since we can reblog whatever we want without interacting with OP tho.

I wasn't really in LJ in it's heyday - I only joined in like 2009 - but it did alway seem like accounts were just shells to post to comms, and that no one was really supposed to come into your journal and talk on a post.

This wasn't my experience with LJ fandom at all. I didn't have a huge flist, but the majority of my LJ activity took place on either my own personal journal or someone else's personal journal (as opposed to on public comms), and pretty much everyone I interacted with was very chill and welcoming.

We all knew there was a f-lock option if we wanted to keep something a bit more private, as well as a 'disable comments' option. So when we didn't use those options, it was basically an open invitation for people to read our posts and comment on them.

Everyone I knew just really enjoyed getting comments on their posts, whether from a long-time fandom friend or from a stranger. The only time those comments would be treated as unwelcome is if they were outright hostile, but that was very rare.

I think each fandom space is different and having a bad experience in one doesn't mean you'll have the same bad experience in another. I can understand being sort of anxious about jumping into things after having a bad experience somewhere else but if people don't want strangers commenting on their fic they posted on AO3, then it's on them to post it in a non-public space and to only share it with their friends.

I think it's safe to start letting go of some of your anxiety and start leaving comments where you want to leave them on AO3 and tumblr. Remind yourself that even if you feel like only friends are supposed to comment, it's just leftover anxiety from a past event and it doesn't reflect reality.

I feel this way too, most of the time. I did eventually get an AO3 and a tumblr account and just did my thing, but recently that anxiety has come back with a vengeance and I've more or less stopped.

Yeah, it's kind of strange. If you miss a friending meme, you miss out on journals. But if people don't want randos on their journal, they should lock them. Easy.

As far as commenting on fics on ff.net & AO3 (I have accounts on both), I never knew or spoke with the commenters outside of the commenting interaction on the fic. On LJ, I only commented back and forth with one user who commented on my fic, I read their fic, etc. So, in my opinion, you're free to go ahead and use those platforms. Maybe some people befriend each other on tumblr via the fic, etc, I wouldn't know. I don't interact on my fic anymore than necessary -- which is to post it, say thanks for commenting/sharing your opinion, I'll update next month. Fin.

Online conversation isn't some kind of mutually binding contract and as soon as you start treating it a little more casually you'll have a better time with it.

I seldom know people I talk fandom with, but am glad every time we get to bond over a mutual interest. Which is perhaps in one of a hundred started conversations. I think this is more normal than not.

That's weird, because that wasn't my experience with LJ at all. On my public entries, if someone random happened to come by to drop in with a comment, I welcomed it.

But let me tell you that I wouldn't find it intruding at all if you posted comments on my fics, even if we don't know each other. Most authors (if not all) find it pretty awesome.

Back on LJ, I would definitely respond more energetically to people I already knew, but if someone new came in with a fun, bubbly comment on one of my fics I would definitely try to respond in kind, and oftentimes that was how I gained new friends. If someone were polite and reserved, I would hold back on the jokes and give a more standard reply. Basically I matched the tone of the commenter. In this regard, I think it's just like RL interactions.

I only ever used LJ for comms, but I get what you mean about public spaces. I think that even when there's a moderator, a community (like FS!) feels more like everyone getting together in a public square to talk rather than wandering into someone's living room to drop a comment, and there's something kind of equalizing about that. (I mean, what if I can't get anyone to wander into *my* living room to talk? Do I always have to go to someone else's living room, where they start the threads?)

Does tumblr even do anything like comms or boards, where it's a community and no someone's personal tumblr? Does the platform even allow for that?

I do not know a single author who doesn't enjoy positive, sincere feedback, period. If they're posting their fic publicly, they want strangers on the internet to read it. If they allow comments, they want strangers on the internet to comment. Don't overthink this, yeah?

"Similarly, when I look at the comments on fic, it often seems like the author and a number of the commenters already know each other, and as much as I hear people complain about wanting more comments on their fic, it still feels like I’d be intruding."

Er... I think this is more about seeing the world through a social anxiety filter than actual reality, OP. Back when I wrote fic, I got to know people who commented regularly when I posted a new chapter. Not because we formed a snobby clique, but because they took the time and effort to communicate with me. If you're too scared to take that first step, then of course you're not going to be included. Nobody's keeping you out - you're choosing not to join in because your social anxiety is (incorrectly!) telling you that you're not welcome and that's a shame.

I entered fandom through forums, and this... is pretty much how I felt about LJ, yeah.

every single comment I ever got in LJ was from a stranger, at least at first. and I never really got to know most of them, but that didn't stop them from commenting and me respondig. I'm not trying to deny your experience, but maybe it's fandom-specific, because I have never felt any leeriness about posting comments in other people's journals.

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[ SECRET POST #3961 ]

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