fandomsecrets | [ SECRET POST #541 ]

⌈ Secret Post #541 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

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Notes:

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Secrets Left to Post: 00 pages, 00 secrets from Secret Submission Post #078.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 1 2 3 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 1 - too big ], [ 1 - repeat ], [ 1 - empty comment ], [ 1 - random link ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

... I used to be Shadowcat/Lady Shadowcat on TRHQ. I can't remember which of those names I used.

As it is, I honestly feel like I want to die, because the posting style looks like my general style and way back when I used to go to TRHQ, I was an immature, Baptist-brainwashed twat with no manners and very little, if any, decency. My beliefs and outlook on life have honestly changed a hell of a lot over the years. I grew up. I met more people. I've moved over 3,000 miles to a more diverse community. Lots of stuff.

I still feel like I want to die, because I was probably that poster, and even if I wasn't, I *know* I said a lot of horrible, ignorant and stupid things back then. My fiance' has recently gotten charge of the old TRHQ board. I just asked him if I was allowed to get in on his computer so I can delete all my old stupid posts. It's the only way I'll go back there - if I delete "what I used to be."

If you are just seeking closure on this and are willing to listen to apologies, just reply. I can give you my email address, or if you prefer, even my AIM name.

I'm the OP - I've decided not to log in using my username, because some of my cousins know my LJ username and I don't want this to get back to them (homophobia is kind of a difficult subject in my family).

I want to say thank you for replying. I'm pretty shocked - I didn't think the person who wrote the post would see this, and I thought that even if they did, it was unlikely that they'd reply. Posting the secret was just a way for me to 'vent', and I'm sorry for making you feel bad.

The post was made 5 years ago, and I'm sure no one likes to be reminded of things they did in the past that they now regret. I'm also sure that if you looked back over the last 5 years of my life, you would find plenty of things that I did that would make me want to slap myself now. Even though we have to deal with the consequences of our actions, it can still hurt a lot.

I don't know what you think about gay people now, but I'm very glad you don't feel as strongly as you used to, and I really appreciate your taking the time to apologise.

I hope this doesn't sound cheesy or preachy, so please ignore me if it does. I think the important thing in life is not your gender, or your skin colour, or your social status (or the gender/skin colour/social status of the person you love). I think the thing that defines us as people is how we treat others. You've taken the time to say sorry. Thank you.

*Blinks* Only 5 years ago? Hmm. Yeah, yeah, I was still pretty crappy, then. So crappy in fact, I've been on Fandom Wank!

As for "what I think of gay people," well, I'm still religious, but not in the way I used to be - I see the issue as more of a matter of personal faith "between someone and God," I guess. I just believe that everyone should have the same rights and should be treated with respect. I'm not a bullheaded Southern Baptist anymore. I'm not going to claim that I'm perfect, or the nicest person you'll meet, but I think I've grown up a hell of a lot.

I'm honestly not even the same person I was even 3 years ago. Being forced to grow the hell up helps, psychatric help helps.

I'm so glad that I did not offend you with my apology. I'm very sorry I hurt you back then. I'm glad that you turned it into something good - even though it was in order to "not become like me" - it's still really awesome.

[ SECRET POST #541 ]

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