Case (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
case) wrote in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png)
fandomsecrets2017-12-14 05:36 pm
case) wrote in fandomsecrets2017-12-14 05:36 pm
[ SECRET POST #3998 ]
⌈ Secret Post #3998 ⌋
Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.
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Notes:
Secrets Left to Post: 01 pages, 12 secrets from Secret Submission Post #572.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.
Re: Suicide TW
(Anonymous) 2017-12-15 01:17 pm (UTC)(link)Re: Suicide TW
I've spent a lot of my life dealling with suicidal feelings. I've had a lot of time to think about this shit.
The last time it got really bad was a couple months ago. I kept thinking, this is it. It's not going to get any better than this, and this still sucks. But I couldn't' figure out any way that wouldn't fuck up everyone else too much. Like, I thought about walking over to the train tracks nearby... but train engineers deal with that shit so much and it's such a huge emotional toll for them. I'm not going to make some innocent dude feel like a murderer. Then I was like, well I'll get a gun and go into the woods so my corpse doesn't trash this hotel room because the owner and his family seem nice and they're immigrants like me.... but then it's gonna be some hapless jogger finding my blasted open corpse, and what if it's a kid who finds me? That's fucked up, I can't do that to someone.
I've seen friends get shot, I've been around when people die. I've even walked in to a place and found a dead body when a dude I knew OD'd. It sticks with you forever.