fandomsecrets | [ SECRET POST #4022 ]

[ SECRET POST #4022 ]

⌈ Secret Post #4022 ⌋

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I WANNA ELOPE I DONT WANNA DO ALL THIS STUFF

I've never been married, but the older I get, the less fun wedding planning sounds. Like, I have shit to do, okay? I'll I'd want to have to do is pick out a dress and show up.

Same. My BIL and his wife just got married on a family farm, did all the prep/cooking/etc themselves. But that's easier when (a) one has a big family (which fiancé does, but I don't), (b) one still lives in one's hometown, i.e. close to one's family (neither of us do), and (c) one's family likes you and approves of the marriage (neither in my family's case, only some of them fiancé's case).

DA

IMO, Life is too short to do things you don't want to do. I mean, sit down with your fiance and decide how important having a bunch of pageantry that came into vogue only in the last 150 years is to you. Then, decide if eloping or hiring a wedding planner or just inviting your friends/family that approve is what you want to do?

I think you're probably mostly venting. But if it's important to the fiance, maybe they could handle more of the details?

(Is firmly set on eloping myself because buy an off the rack white dress, get a cake from the grocery store and go out to a nice restaurant after sounds really relaxing to me.)

See, the older you are, at least the more likely you'll be more financially well-off, at least compared to your 21-year-old self. I don't want an expensive wedding, but right now (late 20s) I just can't afford even a cheap wedding, so I'm okay waiting a bit longer for that reason alone.

I helped my old housemates plan their wedding, and what BS. By the time their wedding day was there (and they were engaged less than a year) I was ready to strangle them both, and the parents on both sides.

It definitely made me decide that if I ever wanted to get married, I'd just do the marriage certificate & courthouse elopment thing.

I hear you. Unless you're really determined to do the whole big princess wedding, do yourselves a favor and keep it simple. Don't pore over bridal magazines (they're just giant ad catalogs anyway) or listen to people who insist you NEED a flock of a hundred doves and personalized wedding favors handmade by skilled artisans in Switzerland or whatever. The entire wedding industry exists to convince people they can't feel married unless they spend thousands of dollars doing so.

And if you don't have lots of family that you want to share the day with, then hell yes elope. Your wedding requires, you, your partner and an officiant. That's all.

I never saw the appeal of the fuckton of doves thing. they'd probably be a real pain to clean up after. raw rice is messy enough.

We eloped. The stress of planning the wedding was literally killing me and I've never spoken to my mother since she said I ruined her dreams by not having the wedding she wanted me to have.

My dad and stepmom got married by a judge on Catalina Island, my sister's planning on going to Vegas, and it's increasingly unlikely that I'll ever get married, but I can't see wanting to spend a bazillion dollars on a huge party.

So don't do it? Nobody says you have to have a particular type of wedding. Send out an 'we tied the knot!' announcement a week after you ran off and stood up in front of a judge somewhere, and don't sweat it.

That, or cut everything out that you don't care about and have the best ten-minute wedding you can devise. It is, after all, your (and your intended's) day. Do what *you* want.

I got married in Las Vegas. Not an Elvis drive-through wedding, but we got married at Caesar's Palace by the pool. It was a small affair and the best part was they gave you a wedding planner to help with flowers, music and tux rentals. I just had to basically show up with my dress and invited whoever I wanted to be there. (We had just close family members, my parents and sister, his parents and siblings.)

Done it.

You don't have to do anything you don't want to do, or buy anything you don't want to buy.

Generally speaking the only required elements are:

1. you
2. your spouse
3. an officiant
4. legal witnesses.

Edited 2018-01-08 01:23 (UTC)

Agreeing with others saying do whatever you want. My brother's currently planning his wedding, and a friend diud here last summer, and it definitely helps when you have a support team (family, friends, etc.) who will help you cook, decorate, etc. etc. But things don't have to get crazy.

1) budget : how much can you spend & how much are you willing to spend?
2) is this a small affair? No big hubbabaloo? Then all you need is a witness or two, a marriage clerk /city hall and the person you're gonna marry & BOOM! Married. Have a picnic, go for a nice lunch/dinner whatever . I once walked into a church on a Tuesday afternoon and walked in on a wedding with a total of like 5 people in attendance, including the priest couple.
3) if you want to throw a big party, do you want it to be immediately or maybe like a year later after you've saved enough for exactly what you want?
4) It's your wedding. You & that person should be happy. Do what you want, invite who want! Also, Pinterest boards might be helpful. Some have wedding planning checklists.

Good luck!

My hubby and I eloped essentially.

We didn't have the time or money for even a small wedding. So we went to the court house. *shrug*

-otakugal15

I have and somehow I managed not to stress too much over it - I mostly just let people (caterers etc.) give me suggestions and said "OK yeah that sounds good." It helped that my mother made my dress so I didn't have that headache to deal with. (I ended up not liking the veil I got very much but that was just one other thing where I said "Yeah, OK, nothing's perfect, let's just do this.") I had an Orthodox Jewish wedding but I'm not sure if that made it easier or harder. Definitely meant the ceremony was settled I guess.

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[ SECRET POST #4022 ]

Anybody here ever planned a wedding

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