[ SECRET POST #4025 ]

[case]

⌈ Secret Post #4025 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

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Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 01 pages, 20 secrets from Secret Submission Post #576.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Comments

[(Anonymous)]

Your problem is actually pretty common to fanfic writers who've tried "translating" snappy one-lineresque dialog patterns which fit canon characters well, over to original characters where they don't work.

A classic example is Sarah Rees Brennan's first book, which tries too hard to be Whedonesquely derivative and fails.