[ SECRET POST #4051 ]

[case]

⌈ Secret Post #4051 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

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Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 01 pages, 30 secrets from Secret Submission Post #580.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Comments

[(Anonymous)]

Because relationships with age differences like that are often exploitative. The younger person is usually being "groomed" by the older person.

[(Anonymous)]

They can be exploitative, sure. But I'm not convinced they "often" or "usually" are.

Also, context matters.

[(Anonymous)]

NAYRT

I don't have any data on this (and I'm not sure how you could even gather such data) so it feels a little pointless to be arguing about what percentage of such relationships are bad or exploitative. I don't think it's really empirically measurable.

That said, I think the fundamental power imbalance is so pronounced that it's intrinsically risky and at the very least in danger of being exploitative, even if we can't quantify the specifics.

[(Anonymous)]

Every relationship imaginable is in danger of being exploitative.

[(Anonymous)]

And that's substantially more true of a relationship between someone under 18, and someone who's a grown-ass adult in their 30s or 40s.

[(Anonymous)]

Again.... stats or STFU.

[(Anonymous)]

I don't think it's empirically measurable

that doesn't mean that it doesn't exist

[(Anonymous)]

Whatev.

[(Anonymous)]

good point

[(Anonymous)]

"My opinion is right even though I can offer no proof whatsoever!"

Sure.

[(Anonymous)]

DA
I can't give you stats on that, but I can give you scientific evidence that frontal lobes don't fully developed until early to mid 20s so that people in their late teens are less likely to think things out and are more easily manipulated. Which would seem to lead to it being easier for an older person to exploit them in a relationship.

[(Anonymous)]

Your wisdom teeth don't fully come out until you're mid 30, but that has nothing to do with relationships. Likewise, not every part of the brain is connected to relationships.

Mind you, I DO agree that 16 and 40 has a noticeable difference in maturity, just pointing out that your example is not a valid argument for it.

[(Anonymous)]

AYRT
"Likewise, not every part of the brain is connected to relationships."
Sure, but your frontal lobes which is the center for cognition and reasoning and impulse control is very much connected to decision making and relationships. So my argument is a valid one from any rational standpoint I can think of, and I have no idea why you would think the frontal lobes has nothing to do with relationships?

[(Anonymous)]

Alright, then. But if that's the case, then shouldn't we also raise the voting age, driving age, age of consent, and age of independence from parents to "early to mid 20s", in your opinion, or are these things somehow different and the 18-19 year old's decision-making is unaffected when it comes to these things?

[(Anonymous)]

AYRT
Honestly? I think all of the ages should be raised to 21, but that's just me. With relationships, I think it is more important that people are close in age when they're young rather than prohibiting it.

[(Anonymous)]

You've gotta say it's a bit awkward when your mom has a boyfriend your age. You have to ask yourself: do you think your classmate is mature enough to act as your step-father? Would you accept to be grounded by a step-father your own age, or maybe even younger than you? Would you not feel awkward when your parents and grandparents go to the same parent-teacher meeting to discuss the performance of you and your step-father? If your mom gets pregnant and needs to leave work to take care of the baby, will your 16 year old step-dad leave school to become the breadwinner providing for your family?

[(Anonymous)]

You don't know what grooming means.

[(Anonymous)]

There's no relationship, though.

There's just a dubiously teenaged (his age is never given, and while he's in high school, the actor cast is obviously older and the character is a very 80s held-back-delinquent stereotype) asshole flirting with an older woman he's only just met in this scene (so there's no grooming, because grooming requires history) in order to get information.

Like, I agree that relationships involving age differences across that particular line are frequently exploitative on the part of the older person, but that's literally the opposite of what's happening in this specific instance.