[ SECRET POST #4070 ]

[case]

⌈ Secret Post #4070 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

01.



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02.
[Futurama]


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03.
[Cheers]


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04.
[Classic Hollywood cinema]


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05.
[Xena: Warrior Princess]


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06.
[Altered Carbon, Kristin Ortega]


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07.
[Game of Thrones/ASOIAF (OP's note: more for the books, but the art was too pretty not to use)]











Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 02 pages, 42 secrets from Secret Submission Post #583.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Comments

[nightscale]

Hair conditioner...

[(Anonymous)]

NAYRT

...for real?

I shouldn't really be surprised, I guess, but...wow.

[nightscale]

I really, really wish I was kidding.

Can't remember the fandom or pairing but it stuck with me because I literally stared at the screen in bewilderment for a good 5 mins just boggling at the decision, I'd have taken using water or spit instead of that.

Fandom's weird aversion to lube is confusing tbh.

[nightscale]

Wait... wait, no I remember it came back to me. It was in a Nick/Ellis fic and it was fucking bizarre.

I mean needs must in a zombie apocalypse and all but for serious, not freaking hair conditioner.

[(Anonymous)]

Honestly, I've seen fics where maple syrup, motor oil and blood have been used as lube. Hair conditioner's a little tame.

[nightscale]

I've seen blood before(along with it being really, really rough sex treated as totes romantic because making your partner bleed is sexy) but maple syrup?... That wouldn't even work and just eugh at all the potential infections.

I mean I know fic is fantasy but still...

[(Anonymous)]

hair conditioner anon from below

Water?! Water doesn't work. At all.

Spit is too thin, dries too quick and is just not comfortable.

Hair conditioner is about 100 times more preferable than spit.

[nightscale]

Tbh I'd rather just lube yanno?

I don't get the need for creative lube to make things sexy, lube is sexy and it works.

[(Anonymous)]

ayrt

Oh, yeah, definitely. But if no lube is available but hair conditioner is, it's much better than some other alternatives.

[(Anonymous)]

Maybe this is TMI but I've actually used hair conditioner a ton and it works fine. The kind I use is primarily made of different types of silicones, which is what most lubes are made of, so it's not really that weird (and it's not painful or burn-y or anything).

[nightscale]

Huh, I've gotten it in my eye and it stings like a motherfucker. But then the eye is not like the butt.

The more you know.

And thank you for the information.

[(Anonymous)]

ayrt

Haha yes, definitely stings in the eyes, but not the butt lol.

I mean, of course if you have regular lube available then use that, but hair conditioner isn't particularly different than actual lube, ingredient-wise (again, the type I buy; I'm sure there are others out there that maybe wouldn't be so great) and definitely better than spit or cake frosting or mustard (I've actually seen both of those in fics).

[nightscale]

But frosting isn't even...

No, I'm just gonna leave that there. There it no use questioning it, lol.

[(Anonymous)]

It was actually written by a friend of a friend and I still don't know what she was thinking!

They were at a party celebrating some big event or something and they just decided out of nowhere that they had to do it right then and there and one of them scraped some frosting off the cake that was there for the party. It was...special lol.