[ SECRET POST #4077 ]

[case]

⌈ Secret Post #4077 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

01.



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02.
[Travelers]


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03.
[Joel Kinnaman in Altered Carbon]


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04.
(Black Mirror/IT Crowd)


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05.
[Tessa Virtue & Scott Moir]


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06.
[Little House on the Prairie]


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07.
[Guardians of the Galaxy 2]












Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 02 pages, 44 secrets from Secret Submission Post #584.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Comments

Re: Non-Fandom Secrets

[(Anonymous)]

I’m asexual, but I don’t think it’s an intrinsic thing for me. If all my experiences of other people being/faking being attracted to me, or propositioning me, hadn’t become either an occasion for mockery or threatening violence/not consensual, or both, I think I’d be bisexual.

But now, 30 years after a seven year old friend explained about masturbation and then made me demonstrate (I was four) when I think “that person’s cute,” my brain cuts in with all the ways it could go wrong and burns the attraction to ash in a millisecond. Also I’m sullen and fat, so I’d have to change my diet and exercise as well as spend years in therapy to change, and I’m too lazy to bother. Sigh.

Re: Non-Fandom Secrets

[(Anonymous)]

My secret would be that any time someone says their asexual, I assume it's due to abuse.

Re: Non-Fandom Secrets

[(Anonymous)]

AYRT—see, I don’t agree, which is one reason I don’t talk about it much. I don’t want to give people ammo to dispute other peoples’ sexualities. I mean, people also dispute the existence of bi people, which I think I’d be minus the trauma.

The seven year old who explained masturbation to me? Her dad was abusing her, and she was mimicking some (thankfully not all) of what her father was doing to her. She’s now happily married with two kids. Trauma doesn’t have the same effect on everyone, or I could argue that her straightness is an artifact of abuse.

Re: Non-Fandom Secrets

[(Anonymous)]

DA

My asexuality definitely wasn't caused by abuse. However, I sometimes wonder if my aromanticism was.

Re: Non-Fandom Secrets

[were_lemur]

You might want to try Cognitive-Behavioral Therapy, which tends to be shorter duration and more focused on solutions to thinking issues (such as catastrophic thinking.)

And there are plenty of fat people who are in successful relationships.

Re: Non-Fandom Secrets

[(Anonymous)]

The last time I went to try therapy, after the initial consultation, the next appointment was three months out and couldn’t even be scheduled for another month. They also suggested a couple group things, but I tried one; it was three hours away (I take public transit) and I had to get up and go before dawn. The other was on a day and time I work. Like I said, I’m lazy, especially when I’m ambivalent about something.

As for the “plenty of fat people are in sucessful relationships” thing, I don’t find fat people attractive even in aesthetic appreciation sense that I find people attractive. I’m not gonna be a hypocrite, and also some of my creepiest experiences have been with chubby chasers, both of the “only attracted to your chub” sense and the “c’mon, it’s not like anyone else would have you, I’m doing you a favor, now be grateful I won’t take no for an answer” sense.

Re: Non-Fandom Secrets

[(Anonymous)]

I believe that's definitely possible, anon. I mean, it's something not talked much about, but I have known some individuals who identify as gay or lesbian (rather than bisexual) due to abuse. When presented with the gender of their abuser, the trauma supercedes any possible attraction.

In fact, and this is just my personal opinion, I believe that's what happens in the cases that "pray away the gay" seems to work to the uninitiated.

On a personal note, I know that the fact I was sexually abused as a pre-teen was another brick in the wall that prevented me from recognizing I was bisexual until my late 20's.

So.. although I'm not asexual, you're not alone.