fandomsecrets | [ SECRET POST #560 ]

⌈ Secret Post #560 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

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Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 00 pages, 00 secrets from Secret Submission Post #080.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 1 - broken links ], [ 1 2 - not!secrets ], [ 1 - not!fandom ], [ 1 2 - too big ], [ 1 - repeat ], [ 1 - troll ], [ 1 2 - what the heck? ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

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(deleted comment)

Maybe people have crushes on people who don't fit their given sexual orientation and then say "but I'm not (insert sexuality here)!" because according to their definition, sexuality is defined by who you want to fuck first, and then, to a lesser degree, anyone else to whom you're attracted. Not sure if that's Barrowman's reason, and I can't speak for 109, but it seems that most people will react this way unless they're at the absolute center of the Kinsey scale (which is sort of inaccurate, anyway, but I digress).

What is pansexual?
I honestly don't know and am too lazy to wiki it.

I also have no idea. I would think with the condemning of gay people we have in this country(US) it would be seen as at least "slightly better" to be considered bi instead of gay.

Either way, we suck ass.
Can I move to Canada?

Oh I see. I consider myself asexual. XD
I don't want anyone of any gender/half gender/transexuals/etc.

Hey it's better than us, we only have gay marriage/unions in like 3 states. Maybe not even that. They tend to follow the US though, which is scary. They need to break way from our stupidity.

Thanks! I have already forgotten which one it is. :p

I would think with the condemning of gay people we have in this country(US) it would be seen as at least "slightly better" to be considered bi instead of gay.

I don't know about anyone else, but I know I used to think that way when I was young and stupid (well, younger and more stupid). Which is why I spent years trying to convince myself I was bi when in fact I am totally gay, but never mind that.

Then again, I've also known a few gay people who didn't like bisexuals -- speaking only for the ones I've known, they seem to see it as kind of wishy-washy, like a bisexual person is half selling out to the heterosexual... whatever (it's late, I'm not that eloquent). Or they don't believe bisexuals exist at all.

That seems sort of perfectionist/purist to me.
Sounds kind of exclusive and stupid.
Just like marriage available to straight couples is exclusive and unfair and stupid.

Hmmmmmmmmmmmmm..
Something to ponder.

Yeah, you'd kind of think that someone who is discriminated against for their sexual orientation wouldn't, you know, discriminate against people for their sexual orientation, and yet...

Exactly.

I think everyone on earth has a bit of hypocrisy in them.

I know many of us or all of us, try to deny that and think we are better than that, and yet we still exclude people and do things we ask others not to do or snuff our noses at. It's interesting and silly.

I am damn sure I've been hypocritical on many occasions.

My definition is, "bisexual means you'll do men or women, either one. Pansexual means you'll do anything sentient." This is mostly a joke, but I think it captures the difference in flavor well.

And it's been my experience that bisexual people actually get worse reactions from most people than gay people. Many (although obviously not all) straights see us as traitors, people who could be straight if we put a little backbone into it but choose to be sick, twisted deviants instead, and still steal their men/women out from under them, too! And some gay people see us as being in denial, really gay but trying desperately to cling to straight privilege, and thus hurting gay people everywhere by not fully joining the movement.

Ahhh I guess I didn't see it that way, because I think most of the 'straights' that in this case sound like they fear gays, are jackasses.
:p

I didn't realize their was such an elitist attitude in the different groups.

I guess I didn't notice because I'm on the sidelines and because I just don't care what sexuality people are. That's their business, I don't need to know, and if I do know, that's who they are, I can't change them, and I don't see a reason to, people are attracted to who they are attracted to, get over it.

There are a lot of different reasons - one of which is that a lot of people don't believe in bisexuals; they're straight (or gay), they have no desire whatsoever for the same sex (or opposite sex), and they can imagine the complete reversal of that just fine, but someone who likes both? That breaks their brain, so they insist that anyone who says they do is confused/a traitor to the cause. I've found this is especially true for people who are devoted to the "sexuality is genetic" theory - they see it as a single gene like a switch, flipped to "straight" or "gay" at birth, and the existence of someone who has some measure of choice in the gender of their sexual/romantic partner threatens the theory somehow. (That it might be a complex of genes that has a variety of in-between states somehow never occurs to them. We won't bring up the issue of identical twins with different sexual identities.)

Other people have never heard of the Kinsey scale; they assume that there are three set states for that switch - perfectly straight, perfectly gay, and 50/50 bisexual - and ignore that there are people who have gay relationships all their life except for one deeply meaningful, powerful straight relationship, and all kinds of other combinations. Even the Kinsey scale is reductionist, but it's better than the two-point or three-point scales.

And there are a few people who are strictly monogamous, and believe that to be bisexual you have to have a relationship with one person of each gender at the same time.

And there are a few people who are strictly monogamous, and believe that to be bisexual you have to have a relationship with one person of each gender at the same time.

I like to call those ones "People who can't find their dictionaries."

I think a part of it is the whole trendiness thing - there's an annoying amount of people who say they're bi, but would run a mile if sex with someone whose crotch matched theirs came up (probably happens the other way too, but I've mostly seen it with straights). This puts a stigma of pretension on the whole community. Sad.

Another thing is people saying stuff like what you said there re. John Barrowman, sadly - it's up to him how he defines himself, and finding women attractive doesn't automatically make him bi; one can see prettiness without wanting to fuck it (especially to an extent where it could seriously be considered part of ones sexuality).

[ SECRET POST #560 ]

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