[ SECRET POST #4119 ]

[case]

⌈ Secret Post #4119 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

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Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 02 pages, 46 secrets from Secret Submission Post #590.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Comments

Do you feel like you have your life together?

[(Anonymous)]

Why or why not?

Re: Do you feel like you have your life together?

[(Anonymous)]

I'm a little of both, depending on my mood and how stressed I am. On the one hand, I'm happy in a long term relationship and I kind of take that for granted but I know lots of people who don't have that. I have a house (and mortgage) we're slowly paying off. But I still feel kind of lost re: what I want to do with my life? And financially I feel like we're still struggling to be grown ups. We're not as well off as our parents were at our age, that's for sure. I keep wondering when I'm ever going to feel like a competent adult and I'm 40...

Re: Do you feel like you have your life together?

[syncing_feeling]

Not at all. I fell like I'm stagnating. I quit a job I loved because it was taking too big a toll on my mental health, and am now doing simple retail work while trying to figure out what I want to do long-term. I dropped out of uni after being sexually assaulted so I missed out on my degree. I don't feel skilled enough in any one area to commit to training for it, and don't want to disappoint my dad by getting cold feet and dropping it like I did in uni.

I'm lucky enough to be in a stable long-term relationship with a roof over my head, but my job isn't stretching to cover rent and my cat's CKD vet bills, and my depression means I'm lucky if I can drag myself out of bed for my current job, let alone getting a second one. I drink every day which I know doesn't help, but it makes me less socially anxious and I don't know how I'd function without it. /rant

Re: Do you feel like you have your life together?

[(Anonymous)]

No. I'm a hot mess. D:

Re: Do you feel like you have your life together?

[(Anonymous)]

To some extent. I've been more-or-less gainfully employed since grad school in the field I went to school for, which is also a field I enjoy, although despite years of experience, I'm not sure I have a lot of opportunities for advancement, or even lateral moves (but then, are those things I really need in life? I'm not sure I have the ambition to pursue them, even if the options exist, and the whole moving up the ladder thing does not need to be the life path everyone takes, and indeed, not everyone takes that path, whether they like it or not).

I don't make a lot of money, and the unlikelihood for advancement means I'm not likely to ever make a lot more than I do now. I want to buy a house, and feel it would also be the best long-term option, financially, but I'm really dragging my heels on it because OMG MAJOR ADULT STUFF. There's also the fact that I can see no way buying a house won't increase my monthly expenses and money is kind of tight and, again, not likely to increase. Also, being single means that not only do I not have a second income to take advantage of, but I have no one in this with me to bounce ideas off of or tag-team with. (I have friends and family to talk to, but it's not the same when they aren't buying the house with you.) I'm also a little embarrassed that a good chunk of my down-payment nest egg is a small inheritance from my grandmother and not entirely money I saved, which means I can't claim to have saved as much money as it looks like I have. I have some retirement savings going, but I feel like I got started kind of late, since I was only putting away paltry amounts for many years. I also have to come to terms with the fact that I'm not going to be able to afford to travel much, or donate a lot to charity, or do something like put a bunch of money into re-habbing a neglected house.

Meanwhile, I'm closing in on 40 and have never been in a serious, long-term relationship, or even dated that much. I don't see that as a problem, per se, but I would like a partner, both for companionship and various practical reasons. I have no idea how to go about remedying that (how do you do online dating when you don't know anyone who can take a decent photo of you, or when you don't have a smart phone?). I don't have a strong desire for kids (certainly not enough to try to find a way to have one on my own) but I'm not 100% sure I don't want them, either. It's mostly been something I'd put out of my mind since it just wasn't an option, so why think about it when that might just lead to disappointment? But now that the window is starting to close, I worry that maybe, given a partner to have them with, it's something I might actually want after all and will only discover that too late.

On the plus side, my student loans are paid off and my car is paid off and still in OK shape and I go to regular dental checkups and vote and have insurance and good credit and stuff.

I feel like I achieved the basics of autonomous adulthood by my late 20s and then have just been coasting ever since, lacking the means, luck, or ambition to do anything else.

Re: Do you feel like you have your life together?

[(Anonymous)]

I don't. I feel like I would if I had the means to be completely independent. I was, and then my health went to shit. If it didn't cost money to just exist or we had a basic income I'd be fine. I'm good at managing money. I just don't have an income I can rely on right now and medical stuff is expensive.