[ SECRET POST #4124 ]

[case]

⌈ Secret Post #4124 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

01.



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02.
[Digimon]


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03.
[Black Lightning]


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04.
(Rahul Kohli who plays Dr. Ravi Chakrabarti from iZombie)


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05.
[Ruby Tandoh from The Great British Bake Off series 4]


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06.
[A Wrinkle in Time]


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07.


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08.











Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 01 pages, 09 secrets from Secret Submission Post #590.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Comments

[(Anonymous)]

It's bad writing but it has a constituency that it serves in a way that is not actually vicious at all so I'm OK with just accepting that it's not for me

There's no law saying that fanfiction has to be good; the only thing that fanfiction needs to be is satisfying to someone

I agree.

[(Anonymous)]

the only thing that fanfiction needs to be is satisfying to someone -> Yes, even if only the writer.

[(Anonymous)]

Except it's not progressive at all, nor does it serve any sort of constituency. It's just thinly-veiled slut-shaming dressed up to make it look progressive.

[(Anonymous)]

Demisexuality is?

[(Anonymous)]

I would argue that thinking demisexuality is a thing implies that the opposite is also a thing. And therefore not slut shaming.

[(Anonymous)]

It implies that not wanting to have sex with people you aren't emotionally connected with is far enough outside the realm of "normal" that it needs its own special label, so yes, it's slut-shaming. "I'm not like those other filthy whores who want to bang everyone, I only do it with people I love."

[(Anonymous)]

You seem to be reaching so hard you'll hurt yourself

[(Anonymous)]

DA

I don't think it's a reach.

[(Anonymous)]

Step 1: Demisexuality exists and is a distinctive enough thing to have a distinct label

Step 2: People who aren't demisexual are filthy whores

what is the relationship between those two ideas? How is that not a reach?

[(Anonymous)]

What? That doesn't make any sense, anon.

I mean, yes, I'm sure that there are some people who call themselves demisexual and who are slut-shamey and terrible, I'm sure that's a thing that happens, I'm not denying that. And it's bad.

But what you said just... doesn't follow. How does labeling demisexuality as its own distinctive thing imply anything bad about people who aren't demisexual? You just sort of skipped over that part. "Not wanting to have sex with people who you aren't emotionally connected to needs its own label" doesn't actually say that people who feel differently are sluts or bad or filthy whores, just that they feel differently. There's no reason for that to be slut-shamey. It's not pejorative at all. It feels like the slut-shaming bit came completely out of nowhere.

I'm genuinely confused.

[(Anonymous)]

Because it doesn't need a label in the first place. Not being into casual sex isn't a sexuality, nor is it at all uncommon. It's a perfectly normal expression of sexuality, just as liking casual sex is also a perfectly normal expression of sexuality. There's no reason to act like it's some special, unique thing, because it's not. A lot of people are not interested in having sex outside of relationships. There's no reason to make up a label to quantify how often and under what circumstances you want to have sex because a) it's not anyone else's business but yours and the person you're dating/banging/considering dating or banging, and b) it can change depending on the person and the situation.

Not everything needs to be attempted to be shoved into a box so you can slap a label on it. You can just say "I'm not into casual sex" and accomplish the same thing without shaming the people who are.

[(Anonymous)]

Because it doesn't need a label in the first place. Not being into casual sex isn't a sexuality, nor is it at all uncommon.

I understand this part of the argument. I'm not saying I necessarily agree (or disagree) with it, but I understand the argument.

The part that I don't understand is the part where that translates into slut-shaming. I don't understand that, at all. That makes no sense to me. Even if it is in fact the case that demisexuality is just a useless label for something that's basically normative, I don't see how that makes it slutshaming.

[(Anonymous)]

It's the fact that they feel a need to make up a special label to differentiate themselves from "those other girls" (aka the people who are okay with having casual sex) when both halves of the equation are equally normal.

[(Anonymous)]

I feel like that's not necessarily the only reason that someone would come up with a label for that. I think it's kind of a reach to assert that must be the reason.

I mean, even if you don't think the label should exist, there is a spectrum of how much people like or don't like casual sex, yes? There is an actual difference between people that we're talking about here. No part of that spectrum is better or worse than any other, and talking about that difference doesn't imply otherwise. I don't think.

we sluts need a new term

[(Anonymous)]

I never thought of it like this before, and now I see demisexuality in a new light. Since I'm a slutty person who has sex with people without having known them a god's age, I now wonder to myself why demisexuality needs a special label. Or why not make labels for everyone? How about a non-slutty label for me, the kind person who had sex with an athlete a day during the summer Olympic games (good times)? Call it fulsomesexuality. Fulsome for abundant. :D How's that? And there are some people who take, oh, two whole weeks before they hop in the sack, we'll call them quasidemisexuals. (: