fandomsecrets | [ SECRET POST #4168 ]

⌈ Secret Post #4168 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

01.

[South Park]

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02.

(The Scarlet Pimpernel 1999)

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03.

[Daniel Mallory Ortberg]

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04.

[Twin Peaks]

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05.

[Fried Green Tomatoes at the Whistle Stop Cafe, by Fannie Flagg]

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06.

[Lip Sync Battle: Joseph Gordon-Levitt, Channing Tatum, Tom Holland]

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07.

[Ariana Grande and Selena Gomez]

Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 00 pages, 42 secrets from Secret Submission Post #596.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

03. https://i.imgur.com/ROZ8A02.png
[Daniel Mallory Ortberg]

More like losing weight makes you look better. Who knew!

oh lord.

It's true. The better jaw line is from weight loss. Look at even more recent pics of him, more weight loss and better looking.

(no subject)

(Anonymous) - 2018-06-03 04:27 (UTC) - Expand

(Anonymous) - 2018-06-03 08:16 (UTC) - Expand

(Anonymous) - 2018-06-03 18:06 (UTC) - Expand

Yuppp.

Fuck off.

In this case it's definitely true though. The improved looks are obviously directly related to weight loss, whether you want to admit it or not.

i mean, whoever this is, the pic on the left definitely is a much better look for them? some people's faces just look better with certain haircuts/styles, and i don't think that in itself is automatically bad to point out.

Idk, I think the haircut just makes him look like a butch lesbian, not a guy.

I don't think that finding him more attractive post-transition is problematic.

Using the wrong pronouns is much more of an issue in my personal opinion. and - even if you don't intend to do it as a political statement - I don't see how it can possibly avoid being a political statement.

Yep.

(And as far as 'more attractive' goes - people do generally look more attractive when they're happy and comfortable in their own skin....)

Honest question, how can something be a political statement when you're only doing it in your own head?

For one thing, OP isn't only using the wrong pronouns in their own head. They use the wrong pronoun in the secret as well.

(Anonymous) - 2018-06-02 20:51 (UTC) - Expand

(Anonymous) - 2018-06-02 20:53 (UTC) - Expand

Considering they're also using the wrong pronouns in the secret, and seem to be aware of it, I doubt it's "only" doing it in their head.

I mean, it's one thing if you're misgendering someone unintentionally because you've thought of them in one way for so long that it's difficult to automatically/immediately change the way you gender them in your head. But if you're doing it because you inherently don't accept or believe that someone is trans (which is how the OP is coming across), that's pretty political.

(Anonymous) - 2018-06-02 21:04 (UTC) - Expand

(Anonymous) - 2018-06-02 21:08 (UTC) - Expand

(Anonymous) - 2018-06-02 21:12 (UTC) - Expand

(Anonymous) - 2018-06-02 21:16 (UTC) - Expand

(Anonymous) - 2018-06-02 21:13 (UTC) - Expand

(Anonymous) - 2018-06-02 21:20 (UTC) - Expand

(Anonymous) - 2018-06-03 03:18 (UTC) - Expand

(Anonymous) - 2018-06-03 03:34 (UTC) - Expand

all i’m going to say about this is

*he

yeah, that's fully sufficient here.

Thank you. (kind of wondering if this is a subtle troll secret)

(Anonymous) - 2018-06-02 22:56 (UTC) - Expand

Yeah. It's shitty to misgender him. If you do it in your head because you're used to thinking of him by his deadname, it's understandable, but you have the chance to correct yourself either when you type it or before you post it.

(TBH I didn't know what he looked like before but who even cares because he has a truly beautiful brain.)

Not all transgendered people are lucky enough to look "good" during or after transitioning. Daniel is one of the lucky ones.

I don’t get this comment. Not all people are lucky enough to look “good” ever.

Here is the secret to using the right pronouns for transgender people: it’s nor going to just magically happen. It’s an active decision you make, to respect a person and use the right pronouns, correct yourself when you mess up, until eventually it becomes how you think of them.

Just throwing your hands up in the air and going “guess I still think of this person as a woman, oh well!” is lazy and disrespectful, no matter what your intentions are

+1. I also keep thinking of Ortberg as "she" but I'm doing my best to change over. That's the bare minimum of decency.

+2
OP gets zero credit for flat-out refusing to try. Like, seriously mate.

I... honestly hadn't even noticed the transition and I've been reading the column since Ortberg started. Somehow never noticed the addition of the new name. And since most of the time my internet-use is text only, I never noticed a pic change. To be honest, the few times I saw it on thumbnail before clicking on the column I simply thought it was a stockpic to illustrate some question (my face memory is not great. people change their hair and I have no idea who they are anymore).
I vaguely remember when the column first re-started after the first Prudie left, his coworkers going on about how "gorgeous" his female-presenting headshot headshot was, and I remember thinking, "Seriously? That hair is all over the place, and that's the most uncomfortable smile I've ever seen. This looks SO much like everyone trying to soothe a seriously fragile self-image". So, glad he now has an image he can truly honestly like and feel good about, and - unless I somehow missed it - his co-workers didn't feel any need to do a similar piece gushing about how great he looked in his new pic.