[ SECRET POST #4169 ]

[case]

⌈ Secret Post #4169 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

01.



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02.
(Eugene from Buzzfeed)


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03.
[Patrick J. Adams, Suits]


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04.
[Jack Black]


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05.
[Despicable Me]


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06.
[The Elsie Dinsmore series]


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07.
[voltron]











Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 02 pages, 35 secrets from Secret Submission Post #597.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Comments

Re: I know this is late but I'm worried/upset & don't know who else to ask...

[(Anonymous)]

Has he lied to you about major stuff in the past? Because otherwise if I were in your place I would take him at his word. I wouldn’t automatically assume that his holding hands with a female friend = infidelity, either. I’m very much not a tactile person, but it’s not like they were feeling each other up or kissing.

Have you tried talking to your boyfriend’s friend about it? You said you shouldn’t be in a relationship with someone you can’t trust. Well, what would make you trust him? If you don’t trust him that his relationship with his friend isn’t sexual/romantic, it’s not like you’d react well to your boyfriend confessing his undying love/lust for his friend, either. So decide to trust him and stay, or realize that won’t trust any answer he gives you, and leave.

Idk, I’m sorry, but what other options are there that you’d accept? Asking them not to be friends/show affection for each other would be controlling and weird.

Re: I know this is late but I'm worried/upset & don't know who else to ask...

[(Anonymous)]

As far as I know he hasn't lied about other stuff, but how would I know if he didn't get caught? This whole thing has got me questioning everything now.

I mean, obviously I wouldn't be happy if he confessed he was actually into his friend, but at least then I'd be justified in ending things with him.

I didn't realize it, but I guess I do want them to not necessarily stop being friends, but stop holding hands. I felt like asking someone I'm in a relationship with to not go around holding hands with other people isn't too much to ask for, but maybe it is?

I don't know, I'm so confused and I hate it. :(

Re: I know this is late but I'm worried/upset & don't know who else to ask...

[(Anonymous)]

I know I'm late replying to this, but I personally couldn't be in a relationship with someone that told me how to be around my friends. Especially a best friend. Maybe it's because I'm poly and in a relationship already, but I have friends I'm close enough with to hold hands too and it's not sexual at all. Everyone's boundaries and means of expressing themselves are different. If this isn't compatible with you then it may not be healthy.

Maybe you should look at how he treats you in comparison rather than how he treats his friend. Like, do you feel that his friend is getting more closeness out of him than with you? Tell that to him, but don't frame it as 'do less with your friend' when all they are doing is platonically holding hands. Our culture may NOT be that type of accepting atmosphere, but it's certainly not going to change with attitudes like this.

Recently I was looking at old photographs - oddly enough of golfers - due to work related advertising requests. In any case I came across so many photographs from the 60s and earlier where men held hands platonically. There was even a photograph of two men sharing a glass of milk together and labeled as 'best friends'. By today's standards, that's certainly considered 'gay'. IDK people let their insecurities guide so much of how they look at other people when they need to be looking at the relationship itself, not things outside of it.

Re: I know this is late but I'm worried/upset & don't know who else to ask...

[(Anonymous)]

Well, as I'm learning from this thread, apparently most people would be okay with it and I'm the weird one. I guess I need to do some thinking.