fandomsecrets | [ SECRET POST #4185 ]

[ SECRET POST #4185 ]

⌈ Secret Post #4185 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

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Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 02 pages, 41 secrets from Secret Submission Post #599.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

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Now don't get me wrong... I enjoy just about all forms of needlepoint, cross stitch and embroidery being my favorites. I like looking at pictures of peoples' projects because there are some amazingly talented people on tumblr as well as reddit. But... every time I see a post that says, "My dad loves golf so I cross stitched him some golf clubs!" or "I stitched my boyfriend's favorite Pokemon!" I pause a moment and wonder if the recipient of this gift really likes it or is just faking out of politeness. Because I love cheese. But getting a cross stitched picture of cheese is not really that exciting, even if it's an amazing cross stitch.

And most of the time, it's really not very good - people don't read up on how to cross stitch before they plunge in, so they don't use enough floss (or they use too much), they don't leave adequate margins so the piece can't be framed, they have to choose really super simple patterns that don't look great, it's crooked/uneven, etc. etc.

I feel like this is like getting a crayon picture from a 4 year old, only it's an adult. You would, of course, smile and act like the scribbled mess from the 4 year old is like being handed a priceless Monet, but that's a lot harder to pull off when an adult does this.

But anyway, that's my petty thing I can't (and don't!) say to people. How about you?

I can honestly say that personally, I would love a cross stitch of cheese

I didn't know I needed this in my life until now. Like, I'm imagining one of those big elaborate pieces that are practically paintings, and it's just this still life of every kind of cheese you can think of.

...now I’m insecure about cross stitch gifts I’ve given in the past lol

Sorry, I didn't mean for that to happen. I'm sure you know your recipients better than anyone here! I guess I just question other peoples' judgment sometimes. Lots of people would love a handmade cross stitch piece, but not everyone would, you know? And just because it's a cross stitch piece of [something they like] doesn't mean they'll automatically like it.

LOL I have a framed sampler that says "My farts smell like flowers" that a friend cross stitched for me, it's in my living room!

The existence of hot people is exhausting to me sometimes.

I can't say it because they have every right to the feeling, but it's tough to see a ridiculously hot person who looks better than I could look in a million lifetimes talking about how much they totally hate their body and how they're learning to live with it, and not get somewhat annoyed and shitty and resentful.

haha yeeaaaahhh...because deep down you know that poor self-esteem and the mental hangups that lead to eating disorders aren't the exclusive domain of ugly people, so they could very well legitimately hate themselves, but at the same time you know too many people do this to humblebrag. I get you, anon.

Yeah, that's definitely a significant part of it. And the other part is that I can't help but feel like... they hate their body, which looks better than I'll ever look; where does that leave me and my body in comparison? How much worse than terrible am I?

And, yeah, I completely know that this is totally irrational and unfair on like 6 different levels, and I would never think of saying it out loud. I'm not saying it's correct - it's just my irrational response.

I hate hot people!

I'm not sure why this is weird. It's an acknowledgment of someone's interests combined with the effort of creating a thing from scratch. Even if it looks sloppy to someone who isn't the recipient, it's done out of love. It doesn't matter what age the giver/creator is. You've heard of "it's the thought that counts," yes? Someone cross-stitching, say, the sigil of House Stark and then giving it to me because some of my favorite GoT characters are Starks... would mean something to me even if it wasn't perfect. Because that person took time out of their day to think about what I like, and make this thing for me.

Who said it was weird, though? I certainly didn't.

Well, the difference there is that cheese presumably isn't your hobby, it's a thing you like to eat. If you were the sort of person who was really into cheese-making and decorated your house with cheese memorabilia the way a lot of people who are really into a sport or fandom do, giving you a cheese-themed piece of needlework would make sense.

I could totally see that IF someone was already into collecting or decorating with cheese memorabilia. You'd just be giving them one more piece of memorabilia for their collection. But that's not what I'm talking about. I'm talking about someone making a cross stitch piece about [subject] for someone who likes [subject], but who isn't necessarily into collecting or decorating according to that theme. That to me feels like a bit of a leap, that's all.

I'm with you on that, actually. not because of the crayon picture level quality but because when it comes to decorative crafty shit, you've got a 50-50 chance of success. either it's going to be an amazing melding of your skills and someone's interests that pleases them to no end, or it's going to make them go "...the fuck am I supposed to do with this?" there's not really an in-between.

and I say this as a crafty person who frequently has family demanding that I craft things for them. trying to read their minds to know what they want or would enjoy is impossible, but so is actually asking them what they want. can't win.

related, then: my thing I can't say to people is that I don't want a gift. I don't want things, I don't want them to buy me things. If they really want to "show their love," I'd rather we go out to dinner together or get ice cream and visit a park together. but no, I'm the asshole for not wanting material goods, apparently.

Yeah, true. Even if the craft is amazing, it's still risky as a gift - especially for items that are purely decorative. You're taking a chance that not only do you know the recipient's interests, but you also have to be sure that this is in their style, fits in with their decor, etc.

I think some people who go on about the boogeyman tumblr assholes and they’re afraid of getting doxxed and shit because they write oh so problematic stuff heavily exaggerate about the amount of attention they actually get.

That or some of them don’t block assholes because they want to cry and whine about it on f!s.

I'm just confused about why they can't use a anon e-mail that isn't linked to their real identity, maybe a VPN if they're scared?

Because all it takes is one person with a purity tree up their ass to notice you wrote abuse into your story to vent about shit you deal with (and heaven forbid if you don't want to talk about it) for the notes to blow up and a call-out post to be made.

Like, I had an asshole reply to one of my posts going on about "rape apology" and "you just like X fictional guy because he's hot" when I'm an open and married lesbian and I shot them down, shaking, with, "Nice, thanks, I'm a sexual assault victim, too, you asshole, I just recognize fiction and in this case it bothers me when a character is reduced to his later actions when fandom goes out of its way to excuse another male character in the same fandom of literally murdering babies."

Getting called out isn't the same as being doxxed, which is what ayrt was specifically talking about.

people just like being martyrs over the fucked-up porn they like to write tbh.

and to add: i write fucked-up shit myself, i just own up to it and don't pretend it isn't what it is and no one bothers me at all. if people who don't like it do see my stuff they either block me without me knowing or just ignore me, which i am completely fine with. i also don't spam my shit all over the main tags and then act aghast at why people don't like having incest-fic shoved in their faces.

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[ SECRET POST #4185 ]

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