fandomsecrets | [ SECRET POST #4263 ]

⌈ Secret Post #4263 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

01.

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02.

[Tales of Zestiria]

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03.

[Anna Faris, who is dating cinematographer Michael Barrett
Chris Pratt, who is dating Katherine Schwarzenegger]

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04.

[DC's Legends of Tomorrow]

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05.

[Criminal Minds]

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06.

(Steven Universe (characters of Lapis Lazuli, White Diamond, and Rose Quartz))

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07.

[Pirates of the Caribbean]

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08.

[Revolutionary Girl Utena]

Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 01 pages, 16 secrets from Secret Submission Post #610.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

My mother. She worries about EVERYTHING and I'm so sick of her acting like I'm a child and can't handle situations on my own. Anytime I do something different than she would've, I get lectures about how I reacted the wrong way, and "next time you should do X instead", like, no, I'm a grown adult and I'll handle my life the way I see fit, regardless of whether or not it's the way you would do things. She's convinced there's danger lurking around every corner and I'm always one step away from being murdered and it's just exhausting. I mean, I know there are bad people and dangerous things out there, but they're not CONSTANTLY SURROUNDING ME like she seems to think. On one level I know she means well, but it's just so frustrating. Like, just let me live my life.

My mother is the same way. I haven't managed to get her to stop completely, but it helps if I gently but FIRMLY shut her down. The trick is that you have to do it every single time until she learns that there's no point bringing this up to you.

"Mom, I know you're worried about X, but I got this."
"Mom, I understand you're feeling pretty anxious about Y, but [here's what I'm doing that's smart and safe] and I need you to trust me to be an adult and handle my own life."
"Mom, we've talked about this before. These constant reminders are really hurtful and damaging to our relationship, because it feels like you don't trust me to make good decisions. It's okay to feel anxious, but I need you to stop talking to me about it. It's exhausting and makes me want to spend less time with you."
"You know I feel about this, so I'll talk to you later when you're feeling less worried. Love you, bye!" (end the conversation!!)

Other possibilities:

* try to get her to cut down on FOX news and other alarmist media sources
* encourage her to pursue other interests and hobbies, because people who have fulfilling lives don't pester the shit out of their offspring
* don't give her details about what's going on in your life and the decisions you make. The less she knows, the less she can criticize. Don't give her ammunition. If she complains, feel free to tell her why - you no longer feel comfortable sharing such information because she criticizes and lectures you like you're a child.

The sooner you can break her of this habit, the happier you'll both be and your relationship will improve too.

[ SECRET POST #4263 ]

Re: What has annoyed you recently?

Re: What has annoyed you recently?