fandomsecrets | [ SECRET POST #586 ]

⌈ Secret Post #586 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

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Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 08 pages, 190 secrets from Secret Submission Post #084.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 - not!secrets ], [ 1 - not!fandom ], [ 1 2 3 4 - too big ], [ 1 2 3 - repeat ], [ 1 2 3 - take it to comments ], [ 1 - posted twice ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

121. I still ship it. Violent though the whole thing was, I still cried like a baby when they said goodbye to each other.

134. ...And that's kinda one of the problems of the fandom itself. Real boys should not make you cower in embarrassment while fake ones make you hot. Trust me from personal experience; real boys > fake boys.

Eh, I think I get what the OP means. It's not just being attracted to them-- it's how you respond to them. I know there's a worry that if an actual guy sees me fangirling all over in a shower of estrogen and swoon, he'll use it as an excuse to not take me seriously in any other setting. 'Because hey, she's just a dumb fangirl.'

So even if my initial reaction is OMG HAWTT I'm going to tone it down if there's a guy around. OP likes comms where she doesn't have to tone it down or risk ridicule.

Thing is, fandom is fandom. If a guy's in a shounen-ai/yaoi comm, it means he's either A) another fan, or B) a troll. If he's a fan, then he's not going to care if you're a fan, too. And if he does, it'd be more likely because you're acting like an idiot than because you like the same thing he does. And seriously? Girls in the comm can get just as annoyed at fangirl-like idiocy, too.

And, if he's a troll...? Well, who cares? He's just a troll.

This is not necessarily a rational reaction. It's like how some guys automatically stand up straighter if there's a girl in the room, even if she's the most casual one-of-the-guys gal there is.

That's the thing. Internet =/= real life. She does not see these people face to face. They most likely do not know her name, and vice versa. There is freedom in internet anonymity. To get all silly over someone admitting "Oh, btw, I have guy parts" is taking it a little too seriously. Get over yourself, and just enjoy your fandom that never really has ever been women exclusive. Female majority? Yes. Exclusive? Not hardly.

This isn't a rational response. I've had the same one, and I've never been able to reason it away. She didn't say they couldn't read, she didn't even say they should go away.

She said she wasn't comfortable. She's probably tried to 'get over it'. She's still uncomfortable.

We can keep going on in circles about the matter, but it's not going to change either of our minds. You still think the OP is somehow justified in this, while I will still think she's acting like a child who got her cookie stolen. And on and on it goes.

So, I'm just going to end it here, because reading the "it's not rational" thing just makes me laugh, since "rational" to me is such a nice way to say, "childish, and dumb." And while I know that isn't what you're going for, that's all I see in this secret. Perhaps in the OP worded it differently, but I doubt it. And all my writing about how silly I find the lack of logic isn't going to stop you from sympathizing, which is perfectly all right, too.

I'd rather save the drama for something that's actually worth it.

I didn´t say real boys make me feel embarrassed, I have no problem with them outside yaoi communities.

I didn´t say real boys make me feel embarrassed, I have no problem with them outside yaoi communities.

HAHAHAHAHAHA.

Fail.

'Ha, hah, she has places where she feels comfortable and vulnerable and doesn't want people judging her. LOLLERTASTIC FAILSOSS !!1! ROFFLE!'

If you don't want people to judge you I suggest you NEVER socialize in any way. At all. EVER.

It's not a case of -never- wanting people to judge her, it's a case of having a place where she's used to reacting freely, pink ruffles and giggles, and now she can't react freely there anymore. It's not a case of 'I can't bear men to look at me', it's more a case of 'it's kind of weird when guys walk into the women's locker room while we're in towels and talking about their abs.'

Too bad you will most likely be judged in every place you go to. That's life. Even on the surreal plane that is the internet. And seriously, if the OP was acting all, "pink ruffles and giggles," and like a giant idiotic fangirl, then it wouldn't just be men that judged her. Though, I'll give the OP the benefit of the doubt, and say that isn't the case.

Bottom line is there is no such place as a judgeless institution, except perhaps a place of worship. To whine about boys in a fandom about boys is just plain silly.

I'm butch as hell, and even I have moments of pink ruffles and giggle when the mood hits. It's nice not to be sneered at for having two X chromosomes at those times, too.

Not the OP of the secret but I just want to say thanks for your comments on this topic. It's nice to see someone who understands.

Wow, you really overreacted there. And you seem to be extremely intolerant of other people's insecurities even though I'm sure you have your own (as everyone does).

You also seem extremely unaware of the gender imbalance that exists in this world. There are many, many good reasons why girls and women want and/or prefer spaces of their own. If you can't figure out why then you're not that bright.

I have no problem with other people's insecurities when they're the least bit justified. But I find yours "intolerant," so to speak. And to want your fandom to be girls only, especially when it's as broad a spectrum as the shounen-ai/yaoi fandom, you're the one who seems to be acting selfish and narrow-minded.

I don't know. I just can't relate to such a childish concept. I've been in many eclectic fandoms, and just can't fathom thinking that it should be just one way. It's such an immature way to react to a situation that isn't that big of a deal.

To be offended because someone calls you out on childish behavior pretty much confirms that even you know it's silly. So, instead of acting upset at the people pointing your fault out, maybe you should confront the fault itself.

[ SECRET POST #586 ]

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